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the ball song

ME: I’ll sing two more songs, and then you go night-night. Which song would you like?
HER: The ball song.
ME: The ball song?
HER: Okay.
ME: I don’t know the ball song. How does it go?
HER: Ball ball ball ball…
ME: Okay.

So I had to make it up, you see. I call it “The Ball Song.”

I had a red ball
It was very tall
I gave it a call
And it said, “Hey, y’all!”
I had a red ball
I had a red ball
I had a red ball
And it said, “Hey, y’all!”

Repeat with every other color (taking requests). The ball can be tall or small and can say, “Hey, y’all!” or “Don’t fall!” or “Don’t crawl!”, etc., etc.

we’re still here

We’ve just been insanely busy and not sleeping because of teething and stuff.

This is happening…

Frank’s ebook, Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything, dropped (yo) on Tuesday. On Wednesday, he busted into the top 100 paid Kindle books on Amazon and the top 500 on Barnes & Noble. We’re still kind of reeling from that. We were thinking it’d be great to hit the top 1000 on Amazon, and there he goes, right to the top 100. It’s been an amazing couple of days.

So. It’s been an insane week, and whew, are we glad he took the week off from his day job.

Radio. Well, he was on the Jay Thomas show Tuesday, Central Wisconsin Morning News Wednesday. Today he’s on with Michael Medved, scheduled for an entire hour from 2-3 MST. Saturday he’ll be on with Bruce Lefavi, his uncle who has a syndicated radio show. Then he has more interviews next week and the week after. Crazy.

Of course, we have no idea what it all means. We have no idea if top 100 on Amazon means we’ve sold 100 copies or thousands. Or millions. Kidding, kidding. But seriously, we are completely clueless on how this translates to book sales. It doesn’t matter. I’m just so proud of him. He’s worked so hard for so many years, writing IMAO day after day, cranking out column after column… And then this summer his writing career cranked up in a big way.

So if you haven’t bought his book, I hear it’s hilarious. No, wait, I know it is. I’ve read it and am currently reading it again.

Our world

Well, things are happening like mad in the house of J.

Buttercup is getting really close to walking, and frankly I’m surprised she isn’t already skipping and jumping. She seems to have taken time off from learning to walk so she can hone her climbing skills. Hooray? At least we’ve found a new way to tire the baby out: she loves to climb up and down the steps to the slide at any park. So there’s that.

She still doesn’t sleep, tiredness notwithstanding. Monday night she started literally slapping herself in the face to try to stay awake while I was rocking her. Eyes half closed, and she just started wailing on herself. Hahaha. At least it saved my breasts–she’s recently taken to slapping those to keep herself awake, so I was glad for the change. But I do keep having to stop myself from saying, “Quit hitting yourself. Why are you hitting yourself? Quit hitting yourself.”

Elsewhere in our world, Frank has written a short e-book for HarperCollins (I’ve read it, and it is hilarious). It should be out in mid-November on their Broadside Books imprint. Now he’s starting to work on his second manuscript.

Monday, he wrote his first column for the New York Post. I think it was a hit. Frank J., opinion page writer. Your mind is boggled.

Yeah, so it’s been crazy around here since about 2 months ago when the whole thing with HarperCollins started.

Not a whole lot new with me. Except my hair. I do have new hair. Mostly I’m taking care of baby and proofreading Frank. And trying to papercraft in my oodles of spare time.

Oh, and Boise got a Chipotle today. Just ate it for lunch, planning on it for dinner.

Am I? Really?

35. Yes. I really am.


You know it’s time to sweep when you go check to see what your little one is up to, and she’s waving around a clump of dog hair she picked up off the floor. (In my defense, it’s under the piano bench, and I only move the bench for sweeping once a month. Maybe I should do that more often.)

Niagara of the west

Little Man went to Shoshone Falls.

Little Man at Shoshone Falls


Hmm. In my new theme (you did notice the new theme, yes?), the link to comment on the post is right under the post title. I’ve never been a fan of this when I see it on other blogs, because that means I have to read the post then scroll back up if I want to comment. I’d rather just have the link right at the end.

How do y’all feel about it?



Buttercup at 8 months


Can you believe my baby girl is 8 months old? I can’t either.

hope for the blog!

I’m updating my blog software today, and I already have the Droid WordPress app ready to go… Just wanted to let y’all know I’m trying to find easier ways to blog. If I can blog with my phone while rocking the baby to sleep, I’m much more likely to do it. It’s just hard to get free hands and time for it these days.


I’m turning into one. I mean, I’ve been one for a while, but now I’m turning into a serious one.

I just devoured Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover, and as of May we’re working on the baby steps. Our plan is to be out of debt (including the student loan and my car) in 2 years, then start saving for retirement and college, then start paying off the house.

I was already doing stuff like rinsing out my Ziploc bags and reusing aluminum foil, shopping in the reduced-for-quick-sale section of the meat department, and all that. Now I’m on a mission to cut my grocery budget down by $200 a month. “What, SarahK? Our entire grocery budget is $200 a month! What are you eating, steak every night?” Ha, no. We’re eating gluten-free, egg-free, dairy-free, hardly anything processed (out of necessity). Pet food is $100 every six weeks, because we have a dog who is allergic to anything cheap and who will scratch herself until she bleeds if we feed her anything but expensive food (read: food without a lot of grain ingredients).

Anyway, other than extreme couponing (which, frankly, takes too much time for me to stick with it), do y’all have any money saving tips for me? I’m focusing on the grocery budget here, because we’ve already ditched our home phone, we’re ditching cable as soon as Idol ends this season, and we’ve cut out other things. Now I need to trim.

I’d love to hear your suggestions!

Daily Bible Reading Thoughts

I’m following along at Daily Bible Reading Thoughts (well, I’m behind, as I’m always behind on everything). The site will go through the Bible in chronological order over the course of the year, with a few different people posting their thoughts on the day’s passage. My preacher and a few other people will be writing the blog. Roger (the preacher) is always surprising me in Bible studies; he picks up on things I’ve never noticed, researches thoroughly, and is always learning himself. I enjoy his Bible studies and always learn something new.

Anyway, it’s open for anyone to follow along, so join in if you want to!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Just stopping in quickly to say Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan! I hope you give all you want, get all you want, and play all you want. And eat all you want. Especially pie. Eat lots of pie.

Trying to have a baby

Been in labor 29 hours. Still no Buttercup.

This must be an awesome list, because I’m on it

John Hawkins put out his list of 20 Must-Add Conservatives on Twitter. I’m on it (sarahk47), so this list is totally valid. Frank‘s on it too. If you are on the Twitter, I recommend you follow both of us, as most of my funniest tweets are insults directed at him.

Happy birthday

I had one. Today. It was great. And busy. And hot. And there were super-yummy gluten-free cupcakes.

My favorite referral ever

I’m so proud.


Now that curling has started, I’m all curling, all the time. There is madness up in the house of J.

Gimme Dat Christian Side Hug

Gimme Dat Christian Side Hug – Watch more Funny Videos

I hope this is self-parody. Please let it be self-parody.


Frank’s grandmother passed away last night. Rest in peace, Grammy.

Y’all won’t understand this post, but it has to be done for the sake of Twitter.

I am bashing Brandon Kiser. Brandon Kiser is a big dumb stoopidhead!

UPDATE: Here‘s why I wrote this post. It was almost an invitation, really.

And here’s the reaction, a day later.
I was so tempted to ruin my joke several times over the past 24 hours. Man, I love teh Twitter.

New Year’s resolutions

Not all of them, but most:

*Blog more.
*No, really.
*Stick to a schedule. I’m writing it today and tomorrow.
*Finish my novel. I’m 33K words in. I haven’t written anything since I got sick at the beginning of November. Stuff like that always knocks me off my game. I’m going, going, going, obsessed, and then wham. By the time I’m done being sick, I’m out of the mood. I’m starting again Monday or Tuesday. More likely Tuesday because of the Fiesta Bowl.
*Finally start tackling all these house projects. Right now, all of the decorations are in the guest room because of the Christmas decorations, so it would be a good time to peel some wallpaper or paint a room.
*Lose 30 pounds.
*Have company at least once a month. So far, we’re one for one!
*Hike somewhere new.
*Read three non-fiction books, not including Bible books. Last year I read one and a quarter (still working on The Case for Christ) (excluding Genesis through Deuteronomy, half of Acts, Colossians, Revelation, and Matthew).
*Start making all of my gluten-free things from scratch, no mixes. Also learn how to make GF Neiman Marcus Cake that tastes like the real thing.
*Live in my Snuggie.

I have more, but these are the ones I want to share.

The Snuggie: Insurance That I’ll Never Get Dressed Again

I should be receiving my Snuggie for Christmas, if Frank has listened to a word I’ve said to him over the last four months. Seriously, I have formed no sentence in conversation with him that doesn’t include the words “Boise State Snuggie.” He keeps smacking me upside the head in hopes that he’ll get the broken record out of its little rut, but it hasn’t worked so far. This is why he tweets at me and Google chats me when we’re sitting right next to each other.

Anyway, when I get my Snuggie, I’ll finally have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. As much as I love reading my Kindle in bed, I’m more excited about the prospect of reading horny vampire novels or shopping online for affordable auto insurance or tweeting (come on—we all know I’ll be doing nothing but hanging out on Twitter and eating bon bons) with warm arms. I’ll miss being under my electric fleece blanket (I should patent the Electric Snuggie), but sleeves! Warm arms and wrists while I read and/or tweet! Can’t wait.

From Christmas morning on, I’ll roll right out of bed and head straight to the couch, then head back to bed in sixteen hours or so (with possible bathroom and food breaks).

UPDATE: The Snuggie is MINE!

My first radio interview

Dr. Melissa Clouthier had me on her The Right Doctor podcast today to talk about Twilight / New Moon, Sarah Palin, and how John Hawkins didn’t vote for me in the t-shirt babe contest. John came on at the end of the podcast to get yelled at, and during that segment, I also revealed a Twilight-related secret about Frank. Listen here!

Least favorite people on the left

Hawkins did a poll. I participated.

New Snark Raving Mad! feature

In my new feature, Quick Hits: The Week in TV, I discuss. . . well, the week in TV. Go join in the discussion!

DWTS 10/19/09

Over at Snark Raving Mad.

My friends must love getting emails from me

From an email I wrote just now:

“It’s like, um, everybody poos, and obviously I’m not doing this just to offend your olfactory.”

You know you wish I emailed you regularly. No pun intended.


I’ve become a little obsessed with writing my novel. I’m through chapter 9, and this time, I’m going to finish the whole thing before I go back and do any major rewrites. This is version #5.

My sweetest

Y’all probably figure this is about Frank. Nope. Minerva, of course. Ever since Rogue ran away, Minerva has kind of turned back into my bebe, my sweetest, my snuggliest. She’d gotten out of the habit of following me around. If she was sleeping, she slept on our bed with Rogue. If she was up, she was playing with either Sydney or Rogue. Or hissing at Rowdi. She still slept with me at night, but things just weren’t the same. She’d found a new friend, moved on a little.

Now Rogue’s been gone for a month or so, and Minerva is all over me. She sleeps behind the crook in my knees at night, and in the morning I wake up on my back, and she’s between my knees. If I’m on the couch, she’s either curled up on my leg or softly purring behind my head. When I go to the bathroom, she has to come with. I go into the gameroom, and she sleeps on a box or in whichever ottoman chair I’m not using. When I cook, she splays herself in the middle of the kitchen floor and cries at me if I walk too close to her.

Do you think I’m complaining? I’m so not. I’m relishing.

When she was a kitten, I used to tell her, “You’re the sweetest and the cutest, and I love you the best!” I still tell her, only if Frank’s around, I have to whisper it. “I love you the best, but don’t tell Daddy!” I, of course, stage whisper it.