Category Archives: Movies

Thank you for indulging my obsessions

Someone awesome sent me this. There was no note, so I assume one of my awesome readers or Twitter followers sent it from my wishlist. Whoever you are, thanks so much. Please let me know who you are! I can’t wait to wear it to the midnight premiere of Breaking Dawn!

One thing I never noticed until I saw it in person–there’s a big old hand sitting on top of the Cullen crest. What is that about?

You know who can’t wait for June 30th?

Me. I can’t wait. Me me me me me.

If they ruin it by not showcasing Jasper, I’ll make you all endure awkward stares, and I’ll stutter. I WILL STUTTER.

watching New Moon with Frank

Frank told me last year that he kind of wanted to see New Moon, so I got all excited. He said he wouldn’t go at midnight with me, but maybe a week later when the crowds weren’t so bad. And then he saw the bad reviews and started hemming and hawing around, and eventually the movie was out of the theaters, and he was a bad sweetie. But he really wants to watch the New Moon RiffTrax, and since the DVD is mine, purchased with my allowance, I made him watch it with me regular once before we watch with RiffTrax. Here are his and my comments from our screening.

“Is that a Snuggie festival?”

“That’s a gay jacket he’s wearing. Velvet collars? Really, Edward?”


“When I asked for a gram and a mirror, this is not what I had in mind.”

“In a city of like 3000, how many can they afford to have die?”

“What, she didn’t trade up for better friends for this movie?”

“He always has such a gay little car.”

“If the secret to getting women really is being silent while staring awkwardly, I thought I had that down in high school.” “Well, it was your awkward internet staring that attracted me to you.”

“Hahahaha! ‘I’m slow-motion walking toward you.’ Hey, when our kid walks for the first time, we’ll put it in slow motion.”

“Why would anyone not want presents?”

“What is Alice wearing? She looks like a pregnant Raggedy Ann.”

“It’d be neat if they had a sign up here. ‘FORESHADOWING.’”

“All the girls, including Eric, are crying.”

“What kind of crappy teacher pauses the movie right before Romeo’s last line?”

(re: Caius) “I like the blond one. He’s got the fruitiest awkward stare.”

(Frank laughs when Bella says she could protect Edward if he makes her a vampire.)

(“It’s a necklace. Alice picked it out.”) “I don’t like you.”

“Alice apparently can’t predict papercuts.”

“Do it, Jasper, kill her!”

“He sure likes shoving people.”

“Jasper, you’re a failure.”

(“You’ve always been very gracious about us.”) “And stupid.”

(“If you believed as Edward does, could you take away his soul?”) “Yeah, I totally could.”

(“You’re not gonna want me when I look like a grandmother.”) “I don’t want you now.”

(“I don’t believe that.”) “‘I unt meree dat.’ If someone’s paying you to act in a movie, the least you can do is not mumble your lines.”

(“I love you.” “Love you.”) “Wow, say it like you don’t mean it, Edward.”

“He switched from the gay little pea coat to stupid blazers that don’t fit for this movie.”

(“We have to leave Forks.” “Why?”) “Because of your face.”


(“Just myself and my family.”) “And Kitty Fantastico.” “They don’t have a cat.”

(Frank laughs when Edward says not to do anything reckless.) “First thing she’s gonna do is go drunk driving.”

(“It’s not about your soul.”) “White people don’t have no soul anyway.”

“Haha. He abandons her in the woods so she won’t be able to find her way back.” “Yeah, and they’re standing right by her house when he leaves, and she still manages to get lost.”

“I don’t want you to come to any harm, so I’m abandoning you in the woods.”

“Squirrel! Have you seen Edward?”

(We laugh many times during Bella’s lost-in-the-woods scene.)

“Ooh. Wake up for that, Bella. You’re missing some fabulous pecs.” (that was me, if you’re wondering)

“Found the girl. Now can we look for my shirt?”

“She is not very nice to her ‘friends.’”

“Hey, you know who it’d be great for you to live with? Your mother.” (And then we laugh 30 seconds later when Charlie tells Bella she’s going to live with her mother.)

(“You hate shopping.”) “You also hate Jessica.”

“Charlie’s cop mustache is pleased.”

(re: Jessica) “I hope a vampire kills her soon.”

“Where are you GOING?” (reference to Twilight RiffTrax)

“She is stupid.” “Duh. She’s Bella.”

(“I brought you something. It’s a little crazy.”) “It’s scissors. For your hair.”

(“Of course it’s stupid and reckless. When do we start?”) “We’re talking about having sex, right?”

“No, a white man killed all our girls.”

(“You’ve gotta learn to love what’s good for you.”) “Like fiber.” “Like my mustache. It won’t stop growing, so…”

(re: Sam staring at Jacob, waiting for him to join his gang) “Maybe he’s staring at your long hair, waiting for you to cut it.”

“Closeup of Sam’s abs! Good cameraman!” (me)

“Shouting ‘whoa’ does not make it go slower. It’s not a horse.”

“Hahahaha. She has to find a rock.”

(“You’re apologizing for bleeding?”) “For living, in general.”

(re: Face Punch) “I mean, that’s the best action movie title they can come up with?” “I’d watch it.”

“That movie actually sounds interesting.”

“Wow. She’s got the sissiest friends.”

(“I’m not like a car that you can fix up.”) “Cars have value.”

“Bad dog! Down, boy!”

(“Jacob, I need you.”) “Yeah, I’ve got these abandonment issues, where people abandon me…”

(“You cut your hair off? And got a tattoo?”) “That’s so gay!”

(“How about those filthy bloodsuckers you love? The Cullens.”) “Oh, I’m glad you clarified which bloodsuckers you meant. I thought you meant mosquitoes.”

(“You’ve lied to everyone. Charlie…”) “I can’t name anyone else. You don’t talk enough to your friends to lie to them.”

(“I can’t be your friend anymore.”) “Because of your pale face.”

(“I used to be a good kid. Not anymore.”) “I’ve taken up with childhood obesity.”

“She doesn’t have anyone to stare at right now, so they show clips of her staring from the last movie.”

(“Lie.”) “I’d have to think to lie.”

“Why isn’t he sparkling?” “It’s not sunny. It’s overcast. Or maybe only white vampires sparkle.”

(“Don’t be afraid. I’m doing you a kindness.”) “You’re doing the whole world a kindness, Laurent.”


“He looks like he’s skateboarding.”

(“I saw them in the woods.”) “What are woods?”

“You know, Jacob, you could text me that you’re outside. You don’t have to throw rocks at my window and scare the crap out of me.”

(“Bella!”) “Oh. I was looking for Bela Lugosi. I hate vampires!”

(Jacob climbs into Bella’s room.) “Parkour!”

(“I hate what they’ve done to you!”) “Now you’re no longer asexual and non-threatening.”

(“You remember when we walked on the beach at La Push?”) “Oh, you caught that, did you?”

(“No, I’m in it for life.”) “What, you joined the Crips?”

“I can’t just run away from it. I’m a Native American, not a Native Frenchman.”

“I know the truth, Jacob. You’re a zombie.”

“She put 2 and 2 together when she saw a wolf in a wheelchair.”

(Sam’s pack starts laughing at Bella.) “Just thinking of the Simpsons episode I saw last night.”

“Be careful not to get too near the wolves, Bella. If you get their blood on you, you might get a computer virus.”

(“Alice, is it possible that all the myths are true?”) A leprechaun should just come out of nowhere and say, “Oh, everything’s alright, milady.”

(“We can hear each other’s thoughts.”) “That’s what we learned about wolves on the Discovery Channel.”

(“We’re faster than vampires.”) “And hairier and less pale.”

“What are you doing wearing a shirt?”

(“So you’re a werewolf?”) “We prefer to be called Native Canines.”

(“It’s not a lifestyle choice, Bella. I was born this way.”) “And I’m also a werewolf.”

(“Your lack of confidence in us is a little insulting.”) “So’s your face.”

“What is it with Native Americans and lying?”

“Bury my heart at Wounded Knee!”

“Being a vampire looks like fun. She’s just flipping around, doing swan dives…”

(Victoria is coming at Bella in the water, Bella hits her head.) “And then Victoria just decided Bella was too pathetic to kill.”

“Usually a human body’s buoyant, but she must have had a couple of burritos or something.”

“No mixed signals there. Leaning in for a kiss and then stopping. You’re not a tease at all, Bella.”

(“I’m not gonna let him kill himself out of guilt.”) “Yeah, I don’t care if he kills himself out of guilt.”

“Now he’s gonna provoke them. ‘You’re doody heads!’ ‘We’ll kill you!’”

(“He’s gonna show himself to the humans.”) “And they’ll be like, ‘Wow! He’s glittering! He must be a vampire!’” (all said in hick accent, which he probably thinks is an Italian accent)

“This is just so contrived. ‘Oh no! Annoying girl who always looks like she’s gassy is dead! I’m gonna kill myself!’”

“Look at her coppin’ a feel on everybody.”

“They both like to jump to conclusions and commit suicide. They’re perfect for each other.”

(“I just couldn’t live in a world where you don’t exist.”) “I could.”

(“And you believed me so easily.”) “Because you’re stupid.”

“Um, Alice? Leave the shoulder pads in the ’80s where they belong.”

“Seriously, Edward needs some iron or B-12 or something.”

(“How can you stand to be so close to her?” “It’s not without difficulty.”) “The whole world shares your sentiments.”

(Aro takes Bella’s hand to read her thoughts.) “We are now vampire married.”

(“I see nothing.”) “She’s never had a single thought in her life.”

“I caught a bumblebee!”

“Um, why is Edward getting his butt kicked? He can’t read Felix’s thoughts and predict his moves like he does in Eclipse?”

“Man, this is the best part of the movie. It’s what we’ve all wanted to do to him.”

(“Kill me! Not him!”) “Oh, I’ll kill you both.”

(“You’d give your life for one of our kind?”) “Not you, douchebag.”

“You’re in Italy! Speak English!”

(Marcus: “Let us be done with this.”) “American Idol will be on soon.”

(Caius says something.) “And tell me if I’m a boy or a girl.”

(“Last time you said that, you took off, and I didn’t see you for three days.”) “Best three days of my life.”

(“It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time.”) “Maybe if you’d succeeded before, it would already be resolved, you failure.”

Top movies of all time

John Hawkins took a blogger poll of our top movies of all time. I participated. Here were my choices (not necessarily in order):

The Goonies
The Princess Bride
It’s a Wonderful Life
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
Say Anything
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
The Usual Suspects
The Little Mermaid
When Harry Met Sally

I had to delete several potentials, since Hawkins only allowed us to submit 10 movies. Honorable mentions:

Shakespeare in Love (if I’d thought of it sooner, I would have put this in my top 10 instead of When Harry Met Sally)
Bring It On
(yeah, that’s right)
Legally Blonde
A Walk to Remember
Benny & Joon
The Philadelphia Story
Fried Green Tomatoes
Galaxy Quest

My list varies day to day, but my top 5 are pretty static. Not necessarily in order, but 1 and 2 are always The Goonies and The Princess Bride.

What are your favorites?

New Moon tomorrow night! Ahhhhhhhh!

Contains spoilers.

Hot centenarians. Nothing wrong with that.

From tWits. [It's New Moon week, so I can think of nothing but vampires.]

Every time I tell my husband that I don’t have time to chit-chat or make his dinner or have sex because I’m reading about sexy vampires or watching the Cullen boys play sparkly baseball, he tries to tell me that vampires are creepy. Not because of the fangs or the blood-drinking—he’s a guy, so that stuff probably makes them cool—but because they’re hundreds of years old and pursuing teenage girls.

Now, I’ve thought about it. I’m trying to be a supportive wife and see his point so he’ll drop the argument and just let me get back to my toothily-enhanced hotties, but I can’t do it—I can’t even see the merits in his argument. Because he’s wrong. And here’s why there’s nothing wrong with hot vampires dating much, much, much, much younger women.


The only thing worse than reading Wuthering Heights

was watching the movie.

I watched the one with Ralph Fiennes and Juliette Binoche.

Even better than watching Twilight with Frank

is watching Twilight with RiffTrax (think MST3K with your Twilight DVD). It’s worth so far above the $3.99 they charge.

You must watch Twilight this way. I beg you.

twilight screening with Frank

“Yeah, you’re right. He does steal every scene.” — re: Charlie, in a nondescript early scene.

“Is there any man other than Cop Mustache in this movie who isn’t effeminate?”

“I repeat, is there anyone other than Cop Mustache who isn’t effeminate?”

“We call him ‘Eyebrows.’”

“I hate teenagers. Especially twenty-somethings playing teenagers.”
“Actually, she was a minor when they started filming.”

“I like standing in cars.”

“Wow, he really steals every scene.”
“Shut UP! He reminds me of my dad.”
“Because he doesn’t really like to express his feelings, but I know he loves me.”
“You mean, because he doesn’t emote like my dad?”

“He’s creepy.”

“Doesn’t it look like she just burped?”
“That’s called acting, sweetie.”

“They won the golden onion, see?”

“And see, now, he’s just trying not to kill her.”
“Because her scent… he’s never smelled anyone that makes him want human blood so bad.”
“Why doesn’t he just kill her? End the movie.”
“She’s like his own personal brand of heroin.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that many times.”

“Yeah, let’s stand in the hallway, discuss being vampires. Because we only started doing this yesterday.”

“That was a trick of your eye. That was the moonlight reflecting off swamp gas.”

“Look at me, I’m a sissy. Could I do something like that? It might mess up my hair.”

“You don’t have any evidence!” This is what they always say in CSI when they’re guilty.

“Ok, I admit it. I’m really a hero. I prance around saving people.”

(Upon Mike asking Bella to prom) “No, your skin has too much color.”

(“Can you at least watch where you walk?”) “Stupid! Ugh!”

“Wow, they’d make some awesome white supremacists.”

“Something better happen soon.”

“I’m thinking about growing some mutton chops to go with my mustache.”

(“Let’s say for argument’s sake that I’m not smart.”) “I’ll argue that.”
“She’s really not smart. Bella’s an idiot.”

“Kryptonite takes away power, stupid.”

“I don’t wanna bring this relationship any further than me just staring at you.”

“Wow, if she wants Eric, she’s really scraping the bottom there.”

(“The Cullens don’t come here.”) “Neither do barbers.”

(“You caught that, huh?”) “I tend to pick up things that are said right in front of my face.”

“By the way, call me Pale Face again, and I’m scalping me an Injun.”

“You mean the other Pale Faces besides the Cullens? There are paler faces?”

“Now, that’s racist right there. He’s drunk, and he’s wearing an Irish t-shirt.”

“So can vampires not just shop at Sears and wear normal clothes? Do they have, like, an agreement?”

“The filming in this is like the first season of CSI: New York.”
“Right? With the blue?”

(“That’s disgusting.”) “Yeah, guys knocking on windows is disgusting.”

“It’d be cool if she found that Buffy book. Vampyre spelled with a Y.”

“This is where that upside-down kiss is.”

“Is that a hybrid?”

“She should flash him.” (when he needs her to distract him)

“She has weird hair.”
“It’s like ’50s hair.”

“‘I’m allergic to wheat.’ ‘That’s creepy!’”

(“I don’t want to know what the square root of Pi is.” “You knew that?”) “There’s no way she knew that.”

“He’s really dumb at this whole concealing that he has magical powers thing.”

(“I can read every mind in this room, apart from yours.”) “Maybe she’s just not thinking.”

(“It’s very frustrating.”) “Yeah, you’re missing a lot there. Some complex thinking.”

“What are you doing hanging out with that mortal?”

“I don’t know where I’m gonna fit that in my purse with my gun!”
“Bella with a gun? She’s such a klutz. That would be unfortunate.”

“This is done so much better in the book. I mean, it’s almost like the screenwriter wanted to piss off every Twilight reader.”

“Wow, he looks even gayer.” (when Edward is in makeup, sucking Bella’s blood)

(“And sometimes you speak like you’re from a different time.”) “Like when you said ‘groovy’ the other day.”

“Now she’s creeping me out. Like she’s about to transform into a monster.”


(“Are you afraid?” “No.”) “You’re just so effeminate.”

(“This is the skin of a killer, Bella.”) “I’m sparkly! I’m a killa! I kill things!”

(“I trust you.”) [laughing] “Her parents did not put sense into her.”

“I wonder if drug dealers use that now. ‘Get your own personal brand of heroin! See what Edward’s talking about!’”

(“You have to tell me what you’re thinking.”) “Personal space?”

“What exactly is his attraction with her?”
“First it’s because he’s meant to kill her because he wants her blood so bad. Then he becomes obsessed with the fact that he can’t read her mind. Then he just becomes stalkery. It’s very sexy.”
“Oh, that’s a great basis for a relationship. He wants her blood and can’t read her mind.”

“Any larger sunglasses would be novelty ones.”

“By the way, if you’ve got any spare blood that you’re not using…”

“She’s like a weatherman. So-so accuracy.”
“No, she’s way more accurate.”

“Ooh! He hates Injuns!”

“So how’d he end up in a wheelchair? Did the vampires cripple him because they thought it’d be funny? Because it would be kinda funny.”

(“I would never tell anybody anything.”) “Except my friends.”

“I’ve got one rule. Don’t touch my stuff.”

“Stop watching the puppy. Watch the movie.”

“Wow, I can stare creepily at you all day.”

(“I can’t dance.”) “Well then, you’re no friend of mine.”

“You moved! Bad girlfriend!”

“At least they spare us from the conversation. ‘Because I like shoes that are pink!’”
“No, that’s something Alice would say.”

“Rip her head off! It’ll be funny!”

“If you make it all the way through the movie, you’re totally getting lucky.”
“I better be getting lucky.”

“Alice had to actually learn to pitch, and all the vampires had to learn to hit.”
“Yeah, because none of them would have known how to play sports before.”
“Actually, Jackson Rathbone who plays Jasper already knew how to play baseball. You can tell by the way he handles his bat. Plus, the way the director said so on the commentary.”

“We’re about to shoot a Calvin Klein ad here!”

“Everything James does is so sexual. Every face he makes.”
“Which one’s James?”
“The blond one.”
“Which blond one?”
“The nomad. The evil one.”

“Everything James does is sexual? He looks more like a confused dog to me.”

(“What am I gonna say to him? I can’t hurt him.”) “I can. We’ll break his arms and legs and throw him in a ditch. He’ll be safe there.”

“My cop mustache is tingling. I can tell something’s up.”

“You’re stupid, and you smell, and no one likes you.”

“Aww, that’s like the scene from Harry and the Hendersons. ‘Go away, you big ape.’”

(“Why don’t you let me drive?”) “You’re a woman. And you know a woman, if you’re driving away from an evil vampire, she’ll be trying to do her makeup.”

“Wow, everyone here’s so creepy. It’ll be nice to get away.”

(“Tell him how much it hurts!”) “Well, on the hospital pain charts, it’s about a 7!”

“Your girlfriend’s annoying. Shut her up.”

“That’s him singing here. I love him.”
“He sounds like a goat.”
“No he doesn’t! Shut UP! I LOVE him!”

(“The worst part was I didn’t think I was gonna be able to stop.” “Well, you did stop.”) “Yeah, well, you didn’t taste as good as I thought you would.”

“No! No! Bad vampire!”

“I really like the taste of your blood. I can’t stand to hear you talk. It’s a bad combination.”

“And in your dreams, you can still feel me, staring at you creepily.”

“Run, Forrest, run!”

“Ugh, I hate Jacob. He can go die. Actually, I like him in the fourth book, but I hate him in the second one.”
“I can’t even consider liking him until he gets a freakin’ haircut.”

(“Guess I’ll see you around, Bella.”) “Paleface!”

“If I had to spend a hundred years hanging out with teenagers, that’d be my hell.”
“I know, right?”

“Ow, my freakin’ foot! You’re such a clumsy oaf!”

“Hey, you made it all the way through! You’re gonna get lucky.”


Notes on the Oscars

Yeah, I learned about two hours ago that Hugh Jackman is hosting. You see how much I pay attention these days (I don’t even remember if I watched the Oscars last year), and it’s a huge turn from my olden days when I was obsessed and thought I knew everything about the movies. Which I didn’t.

I adore the opening number. The cheap sets, learning Anne Hathaway can sing. Hugh’s amazing voice and wicked awesome dancing. Best opening in ages.

Amy Adams. There is nothing to say. Just… Wow. Always wow.

Whoopi came in her fanciest housecoat.

I’m in love with everyone’s shiny baubles tonight. Except Angelina’s. I don’t even find the quirk in her baubles that would give them some kind of Hollywoodsy redeeming quality.

It was super-tacky of the cameras to pan to Brangelina while Jennifer Aniston was onstage.

I adore the winner of Animated Short who kept saying “Sank you” and then ended with “Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto.” Hahahahahaha. Admit it. It’s all any of us wanted to hear him say, right?

Vampires represent! Edward Cullen in the house! Okay, um… I thought the facial expressions were just part of the way he played Edward, and no. That somebody-farted look is apparently just part of the Robert Pattinson persona. I love it.

I love that they have Twilight scenes in one of their big movie montages. And in abundance! Cullen Power!

So… Jessica Biel’s dress. Wedding reception table cloth gets bustled around the boobs.

I may need a Christopher Walken obsession. I’ve leaned toward one a couple of times, but I’m afraid of it, because he scares me a little.

So happy that Heath Ledger won the Oscar. Truly he was one of my generation’s greatest actors. Imagine what the legend would have been if he had lived.

Wow, that Action montage was full of movies we’ve actually seen! And hahaha, I love Will Smith’s line about action movies actually having fans. True! I’m a dumb action lover myself.

I love the Oscar stage, all blinged out. So… shiny.

Michael Giacchino! At the Oscars! Conducting! It’s an ALIAS obsessee’s heaven is what it is. And okay, from the little I’ve heard of the scores, just these little bits–Slumdog Millionaire should win. The two or three bars of Slumdog Millionaire should win. Wow at Alicia Keys. And WHAT? The guy wins an Oscar for best original score and heads back onstage to sing his original song! Now who is that yummy-voiced man onstage after him? I’m so in love with his voice. It’s obviously not Peter Gabriel. Okay, I can’t find it online. Please tell me who that was, because I need more of his voice. I love it almost as much as I love James Marsters’s voice. And considering my current obsession with him (you haven’t been as privy to it as you have to my other obsessions, because I haven’t the time to blog it), that’s saying something.

Reese Witherspoon. This is the actress who will play me if they ever make a movie of my life. Not because I look remotely like her, other than the short and blonde thing. But because she’s wonderful, and I will be remembered as wonderful. Or a ginormous pain in the butt. Whatevs. However she chooses to play me is fine–she’s one of the best, so I trust her judgment. Anyway, she looks awesome. Always.

I love the director of Slumdog Millionaire who jumped up and down onstage.

Finally! Kate Winslet wins the Oscar. I didn’t see any of these movies, but in light of all her other work, I’d wager she deserves it.

Slumdog Millionaire is the big winner of the night. Good for them. Didn’t see it, but I actually want to, and that’s fairly rare for me and Oscar nominees these days.

Hugh Jackman: Best host in years. Well done.

movie mania… and whence came that snow, yo?

We’ve seen more movies at the theater since arriving in Idaho than we saw this entire past year at the theater in Florida. It helps that Sarah One is here and goes to the movies so often. We’ve seen Enchanted, 3:10 to Yuma, and tonight we saw Charlie Wilson’s War. We went into the theater around 5:00 this evening (and it was beautifully cold, couldn’t have been much above twenty degrees out), and when we came out after 7:00, it was snowing and had been for a while. It was coming down fairly heavily, and we were all surprised. By the time we finished dinner, we’d gotten a good half inch or so. Yay! Of course, on the way home, we had a little moment where I kind of gently slid off the road and onto the grassy patch next to it. No biggie, only a half spin or so. And the drivers here are so stinking nice! The cars behind me just paused and waited for me to get back onto the road (I just drove a couple of feet on the grass and moved right back). Not one single car passed me. I heart Idaho drivers. When you signal? They actually let you over! I’ve not been cut off one time since arriving.

Anyway. Nice evening. And snoooooow!

Enchanted by Enchanted

We saw Enchanted this afternoon. I loved it so much! I can see myself going and seeing it five times at the theater (as I did with Return to Me) and memorizing the entire movie. I’ll definitely watch the DVD over and over.

If you haven’t seen this movie yet, see it. Do as I say, peeps. It’s a wonderful movie. It’s clean, hilarious, romantic, dramatic, precious, etc. The cast is excellent. I can’t say enough good things about Amy Adams, and honestly, I’ve never seen the big deal about Patrick Dempsey until now. But after seeing Enchanted, I get it. He’s just precious. The music is great, the songs are lovely, and I’d see it multiple times for the scene in Central Park alone. Bravo! Bravo!

Finally! A great movie!

UPDATE: Pip?? I adore Pip! And I adore the animators that make him look like Peter Pettigrew when he imitates Nathaniel (played by the same actor who plays Pettigrew). I laughed so hard that I cried when he was trying to act out the bad situation for Prince Edward.

What did y’all think?

i think he shops for me in the bargain bin at Thrift Town

Almost every year, I get a DVD for my birthday from the evil fake sarahk (my co-blogger at Snark Raving Mad). In the past I’ve received Swimming with Sharks and It’s Pat. He sends me movies he loves.

Well, this year, I stood by the mailbox day after day, just waiting for the mail lady to bring me a new DVD. *sniff* It never happened, and I finally gave up.

Yesterday, Frank brought in the mail, and there was one package, DVD-shaped. Addressed to Sarah Phleming. Hahahahahahaha. I could not stop laughing. One day, I’ll tell him that he spelled “phlegm” wrong, but whatever. At first I thought it was someone’s dumb error, and I was heartily amused. And then I saw the return address on the package and laughed even harder. I only know one person in Minnesota.

This year’s selection is a two-fer! It’s the Problem Child tantrum pack. Problem Child and Problem Child 2.

Oh, and it came with an apology for its lateness. Nice touch.

the whisper-crash

I watch a *lot* of television, as you know, and there is something that is driving me mad with the TV shows (same can be said for a lot of movies lately). When the actors are trying to emote the fact that they are really serious about something or that something is very secretive, so secretive that if anyone other than the other person on-screen (and the entire viewing audience) hears the secret, the entire universe will implode, they get really close to each other and speak in whispers so quiet that not even my highly alert dog can hear them speak. And then, THEN! Just to make sure we realize that this was such an important secret, the next scene will have an explosion so loud that I’m grabbing for the remote to turn the TV back down (because, see, I’ve already turned it UP so I can make out every other word of the whispering, only to realize that I *still* have to rewind again so I can watch with the closed captioning engaged).

The worst offenders in the TV department are Battlestar Galactica (any time Baltar has a conversation with anyone, not just Six) and Moonlight. There are too many movies to list, but you can assume any in the Noir category are bound to make the list.


A few minutes ago, Frank was talking about the trailer for a new… something. Just now we had this conversation.

FRANK J.: Sweetie, do you wanna watch the trailer for that new shoot-em-up?
SARAHK [grimacy look on my face]: I don’t really like shoot-em-ups.
FRANK J. [so confused by this obvious change in my likes and dislikes]: What? You don’t like shoot-em-up action films?
SARAHK: Ohhhhhh! I thought you were talking about a new video game.
FRANK J.: Ohhhhh. That’s why you had that disinterested tone the whole time I was talking about it.
SARAHK: Yeah, I thought you were talking about a video game that I would not remotely be interested in.
FRANK J.: With Paul Giammatti?
SARAHK: Well, they’re always getting famous people to do the voices in those games.
FRANK J.: That’s true. But no. Shoot-em-up is a movie genre, not a video game genre.
SARAHK: You’re always talking about those boring action games and first-person shooters.
FRANK J.: Yeah, first-person shooters, but you never hear of video games called “shoot-em-up” games.
SARAHK: That’s how I think of them. Same difference.

UPDATE: The movie is actually called Shoot ‘Em Up. Oh yes. It looks good.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: the movie (part 2)


Now… when last we left this very detailed movie review, we were just getting to…

No, wait. Back up. There are things I left out and/or want to revisit.

  • Such as the fact that we have no idea in the movie how poor Fred and George Weasley have gotten the money to make their WWWs, but that’s not the fault of this director (GOF!).
  • The thing I said about this style of Dementors being closer to the books? I was wrong. Rereading the chapter in POA about the Dementor attacking Harry on the train, POA movie did a better job.
  • About Aunt Petunia. In the book, Harry tries to explain what happened, and Uncle Vernon asks what’s a Dementor, and Aunt Petunia blurts out, “They guard the wizard prison Azkaban.” And then you find out she knows more about the wizarding world than she lets on; she also is appalled by this. *sigh* I kinda wish that was in the movie, because it’s important to the books… and I think Harry’s gonna go off on the Dursleys when he leaves Privet Drive for the last time.
  • Also, Luna mentions her father to Harry several times, but there is no mention of the fact that he edits The Quibbler, nor is there mention of how the real story gets out without the help of the Daily Prophet. Because see, Rita Skeeter as Animagus being put on a tight leash by Hermione is not in GOF, and they don’t bother to just explain at the beginning of this one either. That’s a huge omission. Sorry, forgot to put HUGE GRIPE HERE.

Anyway, we were just getting to…

The student rebellion.

  • Dobby is not in the movie. Once again, Neville manages to be useful in place of the bumbling yet smart house elf. They couldn’t have Dobby tell Harry about the Room of Requirement, obviously, because the reason Dobby knows about it is because he takes Winky there when she is drunk out of her little elf head, and there was no Winky nor Dobby in the GOF movie. Hermione is also not knitting hats for all the elves like mad, which is fine with me.
  • I love Fred and George leaving the box of chocolates for Filch. I don’t think this is part of the book, because Filch isn’t even looking for the D.A. until Marietta the SNEAK runs and tells Umbridge because she’s worried about getting in trouble. Then the Inquisitorial Squad comes and catches them leaving and finds the paper with their names on it.
  • OK. HUGE GRIPE HERE. They’re using Levicorpus a LOT in the D.A. montage (I really didn’t like the D.A. montage — Filch nailing up the Educational Decrees was hilarious, and that was new, because in the book they just appeared on the common room bulletin boards, but the D.A. montage had me grimacing). Levicorpus doesn’t even appear until Harry sees his father do it in Snape’s memory, and in the memory they show (which they don’t show until LATER in the movie), James doesn’t even say the incantation for it. Sloppy! And actually, Harry learns that in HBP from HBP’s book! He doesn’t even know that spell until Half Blood Prince! Because he says it in the dorm room and accidentally levitates Ron. Anyway, I was very annoyed by Levicorpus being practiced as a defensive spell, and most especially in this movie.
  • Also, no enchanted coins to tell all the D.A. members when there is a meeting. So how are they going to explain Neville, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and Luna being the only ones there for the battle of the astronomy tower in HBP? ARGH!
  • The Cho/Harry kiss was very good. But it still made me mad, because no one should kiss Harry except Ginny. EVER! :-D
  • Oh yeah. Valentine’s Day… I kinda am glad they left out the painful scene with Cho being such a whiny girl in Madam Puddifoot’s before Harry went to meet Hermione and Rita Skeeter (well, of course, that’s not in there), but then again, the scene later where Hermione explains girl logic to Harry is pretty funny.

I think I should stop here for now. Gotta get back to working on the house. Frank is making me work on my birthday!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix — the movie

Okie doke. Grab a cup, can, glass, or bottle of whatever you prefer — this will probably get long. I did, after all, take fourteen pages of notes during the movie Friday. Yes, yes, it sounds like overkill. But see, it’s a smallish notebook, and I was trying to leave a lot of space between each note so I wouldn’t overlap every note and not be able to tell what I wrote like the last time I took notes during a film, a film which I could have summed up with one word, no less (ew). So that’s why so many pages. And I was jotting during practically every scene so I wouldn’t forget what I loved, what I liked, what I disliked, and what I loathed about the movie, peeps, so it’s not like that’s fourteen pages on


why the heck the whole Ministry of Magic fight took place in three rooms and left out the brain room, the locked Love room, the time room (I really wanted to see a baby head on a man’s body!), and the big circular room with all those doors and floating blue candles.

But anyway. Let me first say this: As a movie? Great movie. I can’t wait to see it again in the theaters and then buy the DVD. It’s the best of the Potter films, the action is excellent, the sets are great. Go see it. I loved it. As an adaptation of Order of the Phoenix? Well, it’s not. Just like Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire were not. Sorceror’s Stone was the closest, Chamber of Secrets left out a lot but was still okay (I’ve totally changed my mind on that book after finishing it for the second time yesterday), but the rest have been complete butcheries of the books. I would have been happy with OTP as an adaptation if they’d added an hour to the movie. They could have added the really glaring things that were missing by adding just one hour. When Frank told me on the way to the movie that it was only 2 hrs 15 minutes, I rolled my eyes heartily. I would have sat through at least another hour for the huge glaring absences (actually, I would sit through six hours for them to get the movies right, but I actually think others would sit through another hour too).

Alright. Let’s start with my predictions. While we were waiting for the movie to start, I predicted that Charlie Weasley turns out bad in book seven (oh wait, I’m posting my book predictions later — sorry, wrong post, but I really do predict that) … Ah, yes. Here’s what I predicted for the movie.

  • They’ll leave out Molly Weasley altogether again, and if she’s in there, we won’t see her breakdown with the boggart.
  • They’ll leave out Arthur Weasley getting bitten by Nagini and recuperating at St. Mungo’s.
  • Which means we won’t meet Neville’s parents and have that moment in St. Mungo’s where Hermione and Ron find out about them.
  • There will be no cleaning of #12 Grimmauld Place, and we will see no silver locket.
  • Might as well leave out Occlumency / Legilimency lessons with Snape, because this movie is going to be awful. Awful!
  • Dudley won’t get Demented. And we won’t meet Mrs. Figg.
  • The Advance Guard won’t come and get Harry. We’ll just see him at the trial.

Yes, I had looooow expectations for this movie. That just made me appreciate its lack of suckitude all the more!

So… I could do pros and cons, or I could just show you what I jotted and elaborate. Yes, let’s do that. The big gripes start with OK. BIG GRIPE HERE.

The previews.

  • Bee Movie. Haha, punny title. Jerry Seinfeld doing a voice. Hey, maybe when it’s just his voice, you can’t see him trying not to laugh all throughout the scenes! Renee Zellwegger without the puckering. That has promise.
  • Steve Carell as Maxwell Smart. YES.

The beginning.

  • DLP ROX!
  • Woo. Music. Please don’t suck.
  • Dudley’s not fat enough. But Frank reminded me that if he’s too fat, he won’t be able to be a bully. Plus, he’s taken up boxing at school in the book, so yeah, the book might even say he’s less fat.
  • The dementing doesn’t happen in a tunnel. It happens on their street, which becomes pitch black, and Dudley can’t see the Dementors. Whatever. Also, the Dementors are great here, but I actually liked them better in POA. You could see mesh over their faces on the DLP. I actually think this style is closer to the books, but the mesh got in the way of otherwise perfect dementors.
  • Ok, Mrs. Figg… I think the casting was good, and I love her later in the trial, but in the Dementing scene, she’s supposed to be batty and ranting about Mundungus (of course, since they completely took him out of the movie, I guess she would have needed something new to rant about). But I was disappointed in the first scene with Mrs. Figg.
  • OK. BIG GRIPE HERE. Aunt Petunia is very funny in her little short dress, fanning herself. She and Vernon are great (though I didn’t understand why they weren’t more outraged). BUT WHY NO HOWLER FROM DUMBLEDORE? I kept waiting for “PETUNIA! REMEMBER MY LAST!” because the owl flew in the window right after Vernon said the boy would be gone for good this time, and instead it was only the Mafalda Hopkirk letter. I really think the howler should have been in there. This is why Harry can’t go live with the Weasleys or Sirius or stay at Hogwarts with Hagrid over the summer (haha, Hagrid would probably get him killed) instead of returning to the awful people who hate him.
  • Mrs. Figg doesn’t live right across the street from the Dursleys, she lives around the corner. But whatever. No biggie.
  • The Advance Guard. Tonks is great, but she’s barely in the movie at all. I guess she’s a little more prominent in HBP, but basically they just showed her as part of the Advance Guard and the Order, showed her changing her hair and face, and had her get knocked out in the Death Chamber. Oh, and her hair should be shorter.
  • Shocking! Mrs. Weasley is in the movie! Yay! Mrs. Weasley’s boggart, however, is not.
  • OK. SEMI-BIG GRIPE HERE. Kreacher is well-done, but he should have been much more prominent. Frank tells me JKR fought to keep him in the movie, because they’ll have a hard time with the 7th one if Kreacher isn’t in this one. But the whole thing where they can’t find him, and he’s gone to be with Bellatrix and has been giving her info about the Order and about Harry is kinda important.
  • The portrait of Mrs. Black is in there, but she doesn’t wail and scream like she’s supposed to. I kept waiting for it.
  • Extendable Ears! Yay! They’re a little wrong, because I don’t think they’re actually shaped like ears, they’re just flesh-colored string, but I didn’t mind. And Crookshanks attacking the ears so they couldn’t hear what was going on in the meeting was very funny, I liked it better than Mrs. Weasley’s Imperturbable Charm.
  • Kingsley Shacklebolt is older than I was expecting.
  • I love Sirius! Oh, and Lupin had about two lines in this one, too. :-(
  • The telephone booth at the Ministry of Magic didn’t talk to Harry and Mr. Weasley. I wanted it to talk to them.
  • The Ministry of Magic! I actually have been expecting it much brighter in the entrance hall, like white-gold marble-y walls. I don’t know if that’s just me or what. Look, the fountain! Why aren’t they zooming in on the fountain? It’s important.
  • This is me being picky, but Dumbledore didn’t conjure up a chair in the trial.
  • OK. HUGE GRIPE HERE. This is NOT me being picky: Michael Gambon? SMILE. Dumbledore is a jovial fellow, even when he’s fiery and defiant. He is light-hearted and pleasant. He’s not the old codger you play him as. I’ve given you three chances. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE replace Dumbledore for the next movie. PLEASE.
  • In the trial, look! Dolores Umbridge! Amelia Bones! Yay, the first “hem hem”! OH. Ginny never mocked the hem-hemming. I kept waiting. The trial is great. Mrs. Figg is great in the trial. The Wizengamot is just as I imagined.
  • The scene with Sirius and Harry in the train station is new. That’s supposed to be Moody that gives him the picture of the original Order, and he does it at #12. But some of Sirius’s brooding scenes got cut (he was a much bigger brooder in the book), so maybe they changed it up since this is Gary Oldman’s last Potter flick. I mean, it’s not like they didn’t already have the set for the original scene. Oh, also? No Buckbeak.

Hogwarts and that horrible beast, Professor Umbridge.

  • OK. BIG GRIPE HERE. Voldemort’s eyes are still wrong wrong wrong. Red slits like pure evil. And I’ll say it again when the HBP and DH movies come out.
  • The thestrals are perfect. The scene later with Harry and Luna is new, though — I’m pretty sure Hagrid teaches them about the thestrals after he resumes teaching the class.
  • Draco Malfoy is barely in this one. I mean, we see him in the Inquisitorial Squad montages, but what does he have, one line? But he will be featured in HBP very prominently.
  • *sigh* They don’t meet Luna until the carriage ride, and she isn’t wearing the SpectreSpecs. I’ve been waiting for the SpectreSpecs! Boo.
  • Luna Lovegood is perfect. Perfect! I was worried when they first showed pictures of the actress, because she just doesn’t look spacey enough, but girl can act. She was a scene-stealer.
  • Look! Neville’s mimbulus mimbletonia. It must be important to DH if they made sure to put it in the movie. :) Because there is no mention of it at all, Nevile is just carrying it. It’s a prop.
  • Ron is growing less ugly.
  • Umbridge’s office is excellent! I didn’t expect quite as many kitten plates, but I LOVE the office. I especially love the kitten who runs through the cat door. Umbridge’s demeanor is perfect. The twitching like she is about to have a breakdown with that huge frog smile on her face is just wonderful.
  • Eh, you see the Weasley twins testing their Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes on the students, but there’s no discussion. We know what they do, and there’s later a mention of puking pastilles, but I really thought they should have done more with it.
  • OK. SEMI-BIG GRIPE HERE. Too many montages. Not everything has to be done in a montage. A little bit of discourse is okay now and then. Too much was dwindled down to a thirty-second or two-minute montage.
  • No classes with Professor Grubbly-Plank, but that’s fine.
  • Ginny Weasley is turning into a right hottie. She will turn out to be a fine love of Harry’s life.
  • OK. BIG GRIPE HERE. There’s Percy, the lousy git. He doesn’t actually have any lines in the whole movie. Why didn’t they go into how his becoming a numbskull bureaucrat is tearing up the Weasleys and how much they all can’t stand him anymore? And just how awful he is now? I thought that was a big omission.
  • OK. HUGE GRIPE HERE. The class inspections. Ok, the ones they did were great. This is one of those things I don’t think should have been done in a montage. A little more time for the inspections. Trelawney predicting doom for Umbridge was great. Snape’s inspection was great, I love Alan Rickman as Snape. He is just so Snape. I do have a gripe about Snape, though. They always make him out more fun and less harsh in the movies than he is in the books. Which I think makes his loyalties a little less questionable. In the movies, you’re pretty much saying, Well duh. Of course Snape turns out good. Look how funny he is! But in the books, he’s so venomous to Potter and friends. Back to the inspections. McGonagall’s inspection IS TOTALLY MISSING! IT’S THE BEST ONE! The way she keeps bristling at Umbridge’s hem-hemming, and then when she finally says something like, “Do you need a cough drop, Dolores?” It is so priceless.
  • Trelawney’s dismissal happens in the entrance hall, not the courtyard, but then, I can’t remember any scene in the movies where they’ve used the entrance hall or built it up as big as I imagine it.
  • Sirius’s head in the fire. Much better than last time. Much more accurate, too. I’ve always pictured it with green fire, though. Come on, look into my imagination and make the movie just as I imagine it.
  • Oh look, in the Hog’s Head! It’s Dumbledore’s brother! Hi, Aberforth! Good casting, from what that half-second shot of him showed me.
  • That prat Ernie MacMillan was ok, but he’s supposed to be more puffed up and arrogant. And there is no Marietta. More on that later.


coming up

Ugh. I had a post already written about this story, which I found at Electric Venom. I had written the whole post in Kate’s comments and decided I needed to do my ranting over here; however, I was stupid, cut my comment, and went and copied the link to the story before pasting my comment into the blog post I’ve already started about this, and therefore lost my whole post. So. My rant will have to wait until later. And NOOOO. I will *not* hold back my feelings about the child’s parents.

But. I have a date with my husband and Dumbledore’s Army. So this will be a little later.

Also coming up, I’m really trying to get y’all some karaoke, way better than that other karaoke we posted. I finally have the karaoke, at least most of it, on my own computer, and I finally have it in a program that will let me work with it (for some reason the video editing software that we have actually paid good money for WILL NOT LOAD on my computer). Now I just have to learn how to make the one big long karaoke video into little 3 and 4 minute clips then upload the video to the interwebz.

But. I have a date with my husband and a Prophecy. So this, too, will be later.

Be good, musees. And avoid all the Bat-Bogey Hexes that may come your way.

so annoyed

I was so sure, all these many months and years, that Harry Potter 5 came out at the theaters Friday, July 13. But it appears to have started Wednesday the 11th, as many people are already talking about having seen it. I saw Sorceror’s Stone, POA, and Goblet of Fire on opening day (I can’t remember if I saw Chamber of Secrets opening day or not), and I’ve been positively jittery with excitement all week over seeing Order of the Phoenix on opening day as well.

Order of the Phoenix is most definitely the best book, I don’t know *what* kind of crack these movie reviewers have been smoking, because even though I don’t read movie reviews, Frank tells me about them, and they all seem to start out something like “I didn’t know how they would make Order of the Phoenix into a good movie, because the book was so boring, but wow, whiz, bang! It’s the best movie yet!” Which probably means I will be more disappointed in this one than in any of them. I mean, Goblet of Fire. Ugh, Goblet of Fire. No Triwizard winnings even given to the Weasley twins at the end of the movie, Rita Skeeter’s animagus status not revealed, the complete absence of Molly Weasley, no weighing of the wands, Fleur not meeting Bill, Voldemort being all wrong (hello, he does NOT have human eyes), I could go on and on… And Prisoner of Azkaban. I would start in on it now, but I’m reading the book again next week, and I’ll just repeat myself when I’m done with that.

Order of the Phoenix. I can’t wait to see it. I wish we were at the theater right now.

As butchery as the movies are, I’m still devoted to seeing them and owning the DVDs. But with GOF and POA, they proved they can do the animation and the special effects. So I’m ready for them to actually adapt a Potter book.

Yes, I get that the books are too much for a single movie. Speak up if you wouldn’t be willing to pay for two-parters. Pay for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Part I and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Part II (which would of course be playing back-to-back with intermission, and you could see them that way or choose to see them on different days)?

Someone mentioned in the comments that these are theatrical releases, so they can’t do what a miniseries would do. Fantastic idea. In a couple of years, or maybe we should wait five or ten (but not too long, I’d like to see them, Lord willing), let’s have a miniseries. How ’bout it, A&E? (And can we bring Richard Harris back from the dead to reprise his role as Dumbledore? Dumbledore isn’t supposed to be a grouchy old git.)

movie quotes

I’ve updated the movie thing at IMAO from the other day with answers to the ones that have been guessed. I also added a quote from each unguessed movie as a hint, because I hate just posting the answers… So… GO!

Man, between this meme and red‘s movie quote marathon yesterday (to which I was monumentally late), I am itching to start movie marathoning. We usually have TV DVDs or my iPod on in the background while we work on the house projects, but last night, I asked Frank if we could put on one of the movies that we’ve seen a hundred times. Die Hard with a Vengeance, baby.

I think this morning I’ll let Frank pick the first one.



And wow, what a hottie that Ginny Weasley is growing up to be. She is exactly as she is supposed to be. Fiery red hair, blazing eyes, wand at the ready. Perfect.

The D.A. The D.A.!

Ok, I can’t wait. Even though I’m scared of how they’ll butcher the book the same way they’ve butchered the others. I still can’t wait. Weee!

paint. it’s all about the paint.

FRANK J.: You have to see this. Look at this setup. [Rewinds to the pizza boy sketch from last night on Jimmy Kimmel. Somehow we have seen the beginning to Jimmy Kimmel the last 2 nights. I'm not sure how I feel about this, since I do not care for him since he tried to come off as the next elitist pinkytoehead when he interviewed Emily Gould a couple of weeks ago.]
SARAHK: Ooh. Look at that paint color. I like it.
FRANK J.: I actually noticed it.
SARAHK: Haha! I can’t believe you noticed it.

Ladies, all it takes is constant nagging, round-the-clock home improvements, and chronic threats to paint one wall pea-soup-green. Then he’ll start to notice paint colors.

Rocky Balboa

Loved it. And frankly, kinda needed to watch it after this week. Uplifting, funny, bright (wait, that’s uplifting), and best of all, PG!

It gets the J Seal of Approval. I think we need to own it, though our regular DVD player refused to play it (it does that with all DVDs that are completely covered on the backside with artwork), so we had to use my old DVD player, and Frank started talking about how we’re just gonna have to get a new DVD player, because the newer one doesn’t play the painted DVDs, and the older one that does play the painted DVDs isn’t “progressive scan.” “Can you really tell the difference with the progressive scan?” “Well… it… uh…a little I can… where’s the remote for this one?” Change of subject. He’s so cute. Men and their toys.

strange neighbor

I sing when I paint. And I can hear neighbors talking next door when I’m not singing. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but my windows are open, and their windows are open, and if I can hear conversation, I’m quite sure they can hear me singing heartily while covering the white walls of death.

Today I found an old CD of a group of wedding singers I used to sing with from a congregation I attended long ago. It was one of our better weddings, not our best. We went flat a few times, but we hit all of our key changes (for some reason we always had a trouble with key changes), and we actually had more than one second soprano (I think–either that, or I just made it sound like more than one and held my own in volume, but there were only one or two songs that had parts for 2sop anyway, so I sang 1sop most of the time). When I saw the CD, I knew I must play it, because I’m in an a capella kind of mood after I have mini-breakdowns (I’m fine, nothing to worry about).

So I had that CD playing while I painted before our 5:30 lunch (Frank made us mac & cheese, because I’ve starved him today), and of course I sang along loudly, except where I didn’t remember the words, in which case I hummed loudly.

Such a funny mix of songs. There’s one from Phantom, a George Strait song, then that stupid dum-dum-da-dum song that makes me want to claw my ears off, and that even dumber song “Whither Thou Goest”, which I totally don’t understand due to the fact that Ruth said that to her mother-in-law after her husband’s death, so why do you want to have that at your wedding and have it sung as a backdrop to two lovers about to get hitched? Don’t get it. And then there are religiousy ones. “Alleluia”, “God Bless You, Go With God”, “The Lord Bless You and Keep You”. And “We Will Serve the Lord”, taken from Joshua 24:15. And others about Jesus.

Some days I blast Kelly Clarkson or Five For Fighting or the Firefly soundtrack… Celine. Shut up. Norah Jones, Evanescence, Billy Joel, Carrie Underwood, Sara Evans, etc.

So I wonder. Besides thinking that I’m obnoxious when I paint and that they can’t wait for me to move, are the neighbors also thinking I’m a little odd when it comes to music choices? “One day she’s singing about breaking away, addictions to men, and not being in Checotah anymore. The next it’s all about Jesus and going with God.”

lunchtime inanity

*I can have the glutenous Clamato at this current moment in time. So I am (with a few shots of Louisiana hot sauce). This pleases me.
*I can also have my non-glutenous vitamins. Hooray for that, hooray for fish oil and B-vitamins, hooray for near-future motility and nerve improvements.
*I have almost finished The Summer Garden. This makes me sad, because I can’t find either of my copies of The Bridge to Holy Cross. I already re-read The Bronze Horseman, before I started The Summer Garden. But no middle part of the story. After we get the house all sold and get all settled in in Austin, I believe I shall buy a hardback (if they have hardbacks yet) of Tatiana and Alexander (the British title of The Bridge to Holy Cross, of which I originally ordered two copies from Australia on the release date) and read all three again. That is, after I have finished all six Harry Potters. Because the 7th comes out two days after my birthday, because Ms. Rowling wishes me a happy birthday.
*I fell asleep hard yesterday as soon as lunch ended. Fell asleep with my head slammed into my laptop (we eat on the couch with TV trays, and our laptops are on the arms of the couch). Today my forehead has a painful little bruise on it. Also, when I woke up from said nap, I could not cool off until this morning.
*We haven’t turned on the A/C in two weeks. I can’t wait to see what our electric bill will be this month. If it isn’t below $100, Blinky and I are going to have a serious talk.
*The internet is awesome. Especially when you’re in the DIY business.
*Saturday night I dreamt a film noir. You’d think that awful excuse for a movie Sin City would have put me off the genre forever. And Frank Miller, for that matter, but I have reluctantly agreed to see 300 with Frank, just because it’s violent and makes liberals become extremely unhinged.
*Today it’s your breath. Tomorrow the Supreme Elite Arrogant Court and the EPA will find a way to outlaw guns based on noise pollution or the amount of lead output from the firing of bullets. And I shall become an outlaw, because I believe in the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of 1911s.

update to the movie meme

Actors who influence me to see a movie:

Colin Firth
Colin Firth
Colin Firth

79th Annual Oscars (sorta liveblogging)

I get less interested every year, because I see fewer of these movies every year. And more interested in the Emmys every year, because TV’s what’s good right now. Maybe it will swing the other way again someday, but I don’t see it happening anytime soon.

Anyway, tonight will be fun or boring.

I like the montage of nominees at the beginning talking about themselves. It’s cute and talks about the nominees. There won’t be enough of that tonight anyway. But really, it’s cute.

Ellen’s first joke falls flat. This year we celebrate the nominees, unlike the previous years where we just celebrated the winners. Eh.

Record nominations for Mexico. Record illegals, too. Badum-ching. See that? My first joke was funnier than Ellen’s.

Ellen’s opening monologue is a giant bore. Wow, what color is that on Kate Winslet? Pistachio?

And there’s our first “Gore really won” joke of the night. When are they ever going to get over it? Six years, three months and counting. Y’all are really pathetic.

Followed by the first “everyone’s a bigot except us wonderful people in Hollywood” joke. Yes, the world would stop without you to tell us how inferior we are. Bravo, and thank you so much.

And they wonder why ticket sales keep plummeting. Other than the fact that they keep putting out crap.

Jack Black, Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly musical number is really funny. Obviously not written by Ellen.

Makeup: Apocalypto, Click, Pan’s Labyrinth. Pan’s Labyrinth the winner.

Maggie Gyllenhall comes out to talk about the Scientific and Technical Awards.

Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig, that dashing new James Bond, are the first to present. Art Direction nominees: Dreamgirls, The Good Shepherd, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Prestige. Pan’s Labyrinth wins.

Abigail Breslin and Jaden something something Smith, the two cutest kids in movies this year come out to present the short film awards. Too many to list, I’m sorry, nominees. I celebrate you. The Danish Poet wins animated short. How cute, Jaden messes up reading the teleprompter and makes a joke. “That’s probably not the right line anyway.” So cute. West Bank Story wins Live Action Short. And immediately the winner takes the Lord’s name in vain… Jewish sounding name, never heard of the Ten Commandments.

Sound effects choir thing was cool.

Sound Effects Editing: Blood Diamond, Flags of Our Fathers, Letters From Iwo Jima, Pirate of the Caribbean DMC. Winner: Letters from Iwo Jima.

Jessica Beal and some fellow from The Last King of Scotland are out to present Sound Mixing: Blood Diamond, Dreamgirls, Pirates DMC. Jessica Beal’s dress is kind of blah. Dreamgirls wins. What’s up with Beyonce’s dress? Is she wearing seashells for a strap? Kevin thought grapes.

Rachel Weiss to present Best Supporting Actor. She looks pretty but washed out. Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine), Jackie Earl Haley (Little Children), Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond), Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls), Mark Wahlberg (The Departed). Go Marky Mark! Didn’t see it, but I heart him. Huh. Alan Arkin wins. I like him, and we loved the movie, but his part was about thirty seconds long, and he just cursed and read porn the whole time. So I guess I didn’t even see why this was even nomination-worthy. It’s the only movie I saw, so I can’t speak to the other performances.

And right after Arkin’s speech, Ellen walks through the audience and starts talking to Marky Mark. Nice.
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Oscar Nominations – Salma Hayek’s best performance ever

Gil Cates kept looking over at Salma Hayek with a look of amused bewilderment on his face. That was funny.

I was wondering why they didn’t get someone who can speak English (yeah, she’s only been here for a decade or so, why bother?) to help with the nominations, but I guess they needed someone who could say “Guillermo” twice and “Peter” once during the “Foreign Film Language” — that’s what she called it — category.

And when they announced Penelope Cruz as a Best Actress nominee, she got all excited and screamed, “Jess!” More amused bewilderment from Cates, who had to continue announcing nominees for the category.

They should have Salma Hayek do the nominations every year.

So Jennifer Hudson, yay for her, right?

we’re about to watch MI:3

which is directed by J.J. Abrams.

so… i wonder if, at the end of the movie, we’ll have any idea what’s going on…

Taylor Hicks

I got the CD for Christmas. I like it very well. If I weren’t being forced to watch Miracle on 34th Street (I’ve avoided it for thirty years, why shouldn’t I be able to avoid it for thirty more? It’s not like there can ever be a Christmas movie as great as It’s a Wonderful Life. Hee.), I would listen to it track by track for you right now and tell you which songs I love and which ones I only like. “Do I Make You Proud” is not on the CD, so there are no songs that I flat out cringe and roll my eyes to hear. ;-)

I’ll tell you the ones I know off the top of my head I like:
Places I’ve Been
Just to Feel That Way
Soul Thing
Wherever I Lay My Hat (though I think I go back and forth between liking it and thinking it’s kinda hokey)
Gonna Move
The Right Place