Category Archives: tv (I’m an addict)

Veronica Mars thoughts

So… I was looking for something to watch during Christmas break and saw Veronica Mars sitting in my Netflix instant queue. So I decided to give it a watch. And I watched all three seasons during Christmas week. I would have taken only 2 or 3 days to watch the whole thing, but I’ve got this baby who takes up my time and stuff.

Anyway, thoughts:

*Logan Logan Logan Logan Logan
*I must go rewatch Moonlight, which I have on DVD. Logan is Joseph, so this is crucial.
*I’m already in season 2 on my 2nd, slower watch-thru. It’s so good.
*I wish it’d had an ending.
*Logan Logan Logan Logan Logan
*I really like them broody, don’t I?
*I was glad when Duncan left. The actor is cute, but the character was so forgettable. I’m glad they didn’t give Jason Dohring the part of Duncan (he auditioned for it), because Logan Logan Logan Logan Logan.
*I like TV shows with smart, sassy, strong female heroines. Or heroins. Too late for me to figure out which one. It’s the one with the e, right? Oh, and wit. I love my shows to have wit. Anyway, there really aren’t many shows like this. ALIAS (the wit was much more subtle and in the form of Sark and Jack, but it still had its moments), Buffy, and Veronica. Need more. But for some reason I don’t like my strong chick lead to be over 40. I know, totally ageist.
*I love that she lives in Neptune and drives a Saturn.
*I love Papa Keith. Love.
*Logan Logan Logan Logan Logan

Pants on the Ground!

This is my favorite American Idol audition of all TIME!

My recap of last night’s Atlanta auditions is over here.

American Idol 9 Boston auditions. “I… grajitated to music.”

My post on last night’s opening festivities is up over at Snark Raving Mad(!).

Carrie Underwood’s big shindig that happened near Christmastime

Ok, so I have to give you my notes on this extravaganza as I watch it off the DVR, because from song #1, I can tell you it’s going to tip the crazy scales hard.

Alright. Opening number is “Cowboy Cassanova.” The dancers with her–are they supposed to be vampires or Adam Lamberts? Also, the leather getup she’s wearing? I want to make some kind of crack about it, but I can’t come up with one, and I also recognize that I only want to bag on the outfit because I could never pull it off, and she pulls it off so well. I’d hate her if she wasn’t so awesomely awesome.

I LOVE all the Idol guest stars in the bit at the beginning.

Wouldn’t it be cool if Carrie & David Cook got married and had lovely little talented children?

I’m once again obligated to mention David’s hair. No need to say anything specific about it–it just always merits a mention.

You know I have to comment on the bit w/ Carson Kressley and Carrie’s sister, right? Because Carson says, “Do you know if these [muffins] are gluten-free? I haven’t had a carb since ’78, and I’m a little scared.” Ahem. Gluten-free grains still have carbs. Duh. #glutenfreenerd

I love that Carrie named her dog Ace. “Before He Tweets”! Ha! (Note to self: Write and record this song.) I also like that he seems to be a trained yapper dog. Usually when they’re that small, they’re vicious and loud.

I’m totally in love with Carrie’s mom.

I have a very low tolerance for songs about mama or daddy, songs about death, and songs about people’s kids. But since “Mama’s Song” is more about the guy than about the mom, and since the verse about death in “Temporary Home” is more about looking forward to heaven than the dying part, I give Carrie a pass. That said, “Temporary Home” and “Change” are my least favorite songs on the new album. Which is her best yet, btw.

I love the skit and song medley w/ Kristin Chenoweth and Christina Applegate. They’re all precious. Except that it went on way too long. I had to pause twice to go pee.

I liked this from the Jack Nicholson impersonator sketch: “If I wasn’t famous, I would totally date you.”

“Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man” w/ Brad Paisley: Love.

“Songs Like This.” Ok, uhmmmmm. What’s with the dancing boys?

I like “What Can I Say” but if she doesn’t do my favorite off the new album tonight, I’m gonna cry. (That would be “Undo It.”)

Look at Dolly, she’s so cute. I like how she wore bicycle pants.

Oh, I think it’s worth noting that I’m an hour and a half in, and I have yet to see any “holiday” in this special.

I love how Carrie’s Holiday Special is all about gays and prostitution. Nothing says “baby Jesus” like gay stereotypes and whores!

For the record, I would LOOOOOVE to have Kristin Chenoweth singing with Dolly & Carrie. I’m hoping she busts in during the Carrie/Dolly duet to “help out.” And how much did Carrie pee in her pants when Dolly said, “You’re one of my favorites”? Also, I hope Dolly was serious about Kristin Chenoweth playing her in the movie. That would rock.

I’m now 1:45 into the show. Still no Christmas music! Oh wait. Carrie says there are a few holiday songs coming up for us. And the first one is… “Jesus Take the Wheel”? Ok, true story. I was driving home from taking Cadet Happy to the airport when we still lived in Florida. I was on I-95 in heavy traffic, about half a mile from my exit for Palm Bay. I was going to call CH to make sure he and his daughter got to their gate on time and all that, and I looked down at my phone to scroll for his number (bad!). When I looked back up, I was about two feet from slamming into the back of a dump truck. So I hit the brakes, swerved, etc. Pinky went into a spin. Girl just started doing 360s right there on I-95. And I let go of the wheel and had one of my cheesiest moments to date: “Jesus Take the Wheel” started playing in my head right when I let go of the wheel and took my foot off gas & brakes. I couldn’t stop it, or I would have because of said cheese factor. I’d have chosen something more like “The Final Countdown.” Anyway, when the car stopped, I was facing two lanes of traffic. A huge black semi was in one lane, and a big Suburban was in the other, and I was splitting the D. And they were still coming and not far off from me. I yanked the wheel and hit the gas to drive off to the side of the road. Shook, cried, hugged the driver of the Suburban, said hi to a cop, all that. My point is that “Jesus Take the Wheel” is an emergency freak-out song, not a dashing-through-the-snow song.

My favorite Christmas song, “O Holy Night,” sung by Carrie Underwood. This is at least as awesome as knowing that we’re getting a Hobby Lobby in Boise soon. And *that* knowledge had me gasping and cooing for a good five minutes.

She didn’t do “Undo It.” As promised, I’m crying. Console me. Preferably with Coke and chili chocolate.

Hot centenarians. Nothing wrong with that.

From tWits. [It's New Moon week, so I can think of nothing but vampires.]

Every time I tell my husband that I don’t have time to chit-chat or make his dinner or have sex because I’m reading about sexy vampires or watching the Cullen boys play sparkly baseball, he tries to tell me that vampires are creepy. Not because of the fangs or the blood-drinking—he’s a guy, so that stuff probably makes them cool—but because they’re hundreds of years old and pursuing teenage girls.

Now, I’ve thought about it. I’m trying to be a supportive wife and see his point so he’ll drop the argument and just let me get back to my toothily-enhanced hotties, but I can’t do it—I can’t even see the merits in his argument. Because he’s wrong. And here’s why there’s nothing wrong with hot vampires dating much, much, much, much younger women.

READ THE REST AT TWITS…

New Snark Raving Mad! posts

This week’s Quick Hits–The Week in TV and last night’s The Amazing Race. Go discuss!

TV blogging

Dancing With the Stars week 6 over at SRM.

DWTS: Discuss

Over at Snark Raving Mad.

In case y’all are wondering where I am today:

I’ll be here:

wearing this:

mourning this news:

and writing nasty letters to this:

Guilty pleasure

SPOILERS! TRUE BLOOD AND SOOKIE BOOKS!

After reading the entire Twilight series four times (*cough* loser! *cough*), I decided I needed to move on. I’ve been reading Elizabeth Kostova’s The Historian, and I’m still working on that, but I wanted some lighter vampire fare for most of my reading hours. Okay, let’s translate that: I wanted vampire romance, yo.

I kept hearing about Sookie Stackhouse. So I decided to give it a try, and I read the first book. And the second. And the third. And so on. Within nine days, I’d read all nine Sookies. Some of that was listening on the drive to and from Yellowstone. Because you know, beautiful scenery is much nicer when there are sexy Viking vampires involved. (I’m all about Eric and so over Bill.)

Naturally, once we got back from Yellowstone, I had to add the first season of True Blood, the HBO series based somewhat on the novels, to my Netflix queue. We watched both episodes on disc 1 last week, immediately mailed it back, and tonight we have disc 2. And naturally, I’m wishing the sloppy joes would cook themselves so I could just go ahead and pop in that disc. Grunt.

Diff: The series is trashier than the books. There have been times I’ve had to look away from the TV. But Dracula’s castle, I am already addicted.

Diff#2: Bill is supposed to be hawt. In season 1, he’s only barely yummy. Sam is not supposed to be hotter than him, but he so is in the series. But we did glimpse Eric in the season 2 premier (we’re catching up on season 1, but we had to watch the season 2 premier Sunday night, because I couldn’t just DVR it and wait until we were done with 1!), and yes, he’ll do. I will say that in the season 2 premier, Bill’s hotness totally increased when he said Sookie’s name the way he does and when he used the word “slattern.”

Diff#3: Tara. I love what they’ve done with Tara in the series.

Diff#4: Jason in the FOTS. That’s not out of the books, and I’m interested to see how they’re going to handle that when he becomes a werepanther. Or maybe he won’t, I don’t know.

Those are just some big differences off the top of my head. I’ve loved all the books (except 8, which was kind of meh), and so far I’m loving the series. Even Frank wants to watch it. Sunday night we watched a recap slash intro by Alan Ball, and after that, Frank was looking forward to season 2.

And we don’t have HBO, so I’m now trying to decide: spend my allowance on HBO for the next three months? Or wait for DVD. I have a feeling HBO is going to win. And then I’ll drop it until next season.

American Idol 8 The Finale! “I can see her penis.”

Last snark of the season. Over at Snark Raving Mad. Special guest starring Tracey!

American Idol 8 Top 2. Oh, Kahra. That song is so awful.

Over at Snark Raving Mad.

I blogged Idol, peeps

As I do every Tuesday night and Wednesday night. Last night’s Idol surprised me.

American Idol San Francisco auditions

Over here.

24

I’ll get back on the Edward v. Jacob thing tomorrow. Until then, I blogged the 24 premiere at Snark Raving Mad. It’s not very funny due to my headache and also due to Jack’s not carrying a purse in the first two hours. I am actually having a hard time figuring out if this is a migraine or a tension headache. I think it’s both, and I’m baffled about the migraine part, because I’ve been really good about my diet. Anyway, due to said headache and previously unmentioned tiredness, I’m going to read Eclipse in bed until I fall asleep.

Nighty night.

Cesar Millan on Bones

Yes, we have started watching Bones this season. We mainly gave it another shot because we like David Boreanaz so much after spending the summer watching Buffy and Angel. We added it back to the DVR last week, and we’re so glad we did. I guess the couple of shows we saw last season were off episodes? Or maybe we were looking for more shooting and less characterization. I don’t know.

Anyway, we are enjoying it, and I plan to buy the other seasons on DVD with my allowance.

In tonight’s episode, they found a dog-fighting ring. Grr argh, those things really chap my butt. And make me want to give Rowdi sloppy kisses and hug her really tight. (Don’t worry, I don’t kiss dogs, because they’re gross.)

Anyway, Cesar Millan was on there, and just watching him interact with the dogs and hearing the passion in his voice about the dog fights made me cry.

Oh, and the LOL moment: When Bones said she’d seen him on TV. “Thank you.” “It wasn’t a compliment. I was expressing a fact that I’ve seen you on TV.” And the look of comprehension on Cesar’s face. Comprehension of the crazy.

Anyway, great episode. And dog fighters are evil and will burn in hell.

While you’re waiting for me to write here

you can go discuss the Sarah Connor Chronicles over at Snark Raving Mad.

Blerg. I’m doing a meme.

Amanda, who should know better, has tagged me with a meme. Bad Amanda! You get a time out, and no biscuits! I apologize in advance, peeps. P.S. I didn’t fix the meme’s grammar.

Choose a favorite book or movie or television program and name the characters you would:

- Bake cupcakes for:
- Trust with the keys to my car:
- Put thumbtacks on the chair thereof:
- Have a crush on:
- Pack up and leave if they moved next door:
- Vote for President:
- Pick as my partner in a buddy movie:
- Pair up:
- Vote off the island and into the volcano:

Y’all know I’m doing Buffy, right? But I’m doing the whole Buffyverse, including Angel.

- Bake cupcakes for: Spike. He had to endure so much angst and disregard from Buffy. Plus, he really likes to eat and drink, unlike that other vampire-with-a-soul.
- Put thumbtacks on the chair thereof: Charles Gunn. What a whiny baby, especially when he was with Fred, because my goodness, what a jealous tool he was.
- Have a crush on: Rupert Giles, William the Bloody, Wesley Wyndham-Pryce
- Pack up and leave if they moved next door: Willow, because she kinda destroys the world when she’s upset. What if I forgot to return her garden rake?
- Vote for President: Anya, for sure. She’s a capitalist.
- Pick as my partner in a buddy movie: I do not understand the question. Does this mean who would I be in a buddy movie with? Or who would I go see a buddy movie with? Either way, Anya. We’d totally be BFFs.
- Pair up: Buffy and Spike, Angel and Cordelia, Anya and Giles. Harmony and Xander, Willow and Wesley. Connor and Dawn, the Wonder Twins of Annoyance.
- Vote off the island and into the volcano: Wow, tossup between Gunn and Dawn during seasons four, five, and six. Annoying little twerp. Also Fred when she first arrived. I was like, “Um, we don’t talk like that in most parts of Texas.” Then I learned Amy Acker is from Dallas, and what the heck? She should know we don’t talk like that. Maybe her character was supposed to be from Coahoma or Fritch, but otherwise, we don’t talk like that. F’reals.

I tag: Tracey, Elle, Nightfly.

Latest obsession

Sheila will be happy to know I have a new one! I’m not talking about the Buffy/Angel obsession, because that’s been going on for a couple of months now. It does tie in to my American Idol obsession, though. My latest:
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ballast

So we’re watching Angel, S3E13 (“Waiting in the Wings”). Angel and Co. are at the ballet, and this transpires:

FRANK: Hey, isn’t that River?
SARAHK: Ooh, Summer Glau? Lemme see. [I rewind.]
FRANK: That would make sense, because isn’t that how he knows her?
SARAHK: Oh yeah. From the ballet? That sounds right. Yep, that’s her. Cool.
FRANK: Yeah, I think that’s what Joss knows her from. She’s like a ballist, or whatever they’re called.
SARAHK: Um. A ballerina?

[We both crack up.]

FRANK: No, she’s that stuff that weighs down ships.

Life with Simon will be teh ugh

Behold... My Future
I will marry Simon Cowell.
After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Florida in our fabulous Apartment.
We will have 13 kid(s) together.
Our family will zoom around in a Red 2WD 2 cylinder Prius.
I will spend my days as a Accountant, and live happily ever after.
whats your future

I have a way better future with Spike over at SRM.

(via Tracey)

Awesome cameo

Did you catch the cameo on CSI Thursday night?

So. cool.

I adore Cesar Millan

We’re watching an episode of the Dog Whisperer, and this is one we hadn’t seen. (We DVR every episode, because without Cesar, we would probably have given Rowdi back to the shelter a long time ago; my sweet sister-in-law turned us on to Cesar, and we’ve been thankful ever since.) In this episode, Cesar realizes a dog is too much for a couple that has taken in this feral dog, and he trades a member of his own pack for their dog. See, the first thing Cesar says in the intro to his show is, “No dog is too much for me. I rehabilitate dogs. I train people.” And here, he realized that a dog is too much for the couple that owns the dog, but he also realized that they want to be good pack leaders and that his own family has no experience with feral dogs. He also knows that while the dog may be too much for the couple, the dog is not too much for him.

That warms my heart so much. He truly wants to make a place for every dog and a dog for every place. Bless his heart.

Hermione

I absolutely love that the faceless fashionista from London in General Hospital is named Hermione. I giggle every time they mention her. I hope we get to meet her eventually, and she has big, bushy hair and long teeth.

at Snark Raving Mad…

American Idol top twelve boys.

Super Bowl – ok, mainly just the commercials

Ok, um. The national anthem? Hello. Y’all know I can’t stand it when people trick up the anthem. But Jordin Sparks was just fantastic. I give it to her. She can sing the Star-Spangled Banner any way she likes, tricked up or not. In fact, that’s pretty much the most I’ve liked her since the first few weeks of the top twelve last year.

That Walter Peyton trophy that they gave to that one guy for being charitable and stuff? It looked like a giant hunk of milk chocolate. I half expected the guy who received it to lean down and bite its head off. Was that just me?

I can’t tell y’all how much I love the fact that Troy Aikman is doing the commentary at the Super Bowl. It warms my heart.

Since I’m a Cowboys fan and therefore hate the Football Giants with all of my being, I am rooting against the Football Giants and therefore for the Patriots. I like underdogs, but not non-Cowboys NFC East teams. That said, I don’t really care about this game that much. I’m in it for the commercials and the House episode that immediately follows, yo.

Commercials:
*The Bud Light fire-breather was funny.
*The car commercial that parodied The Godfather? Could have been better.\

Game:
You know what’s awesome about the DVR? We started the game a couple of hours late, and we can just fast forward through all the recapping of plays. Of course, the downside is that that’s when Troy’s talking.

Commercials:
*Troy in a commercial! Yay! That’s a good one, the Pepsi one with the bobbleheads and Chris Kattan. Cute.
*We love the Terminator series. We already like it more than the movies. I adore Summer Glau’s terminator character.
*The Bud Light commercial with the wine and cheese party is funny. “Goin’ on a cheese run.” Haha.
*The shoe commerical. I thought it was either for Nike or a video game.

Not related:
*I bought Frank some new jeans, because all of his jeans were just looking ridiculous. Baggy because I don’t feed him, tattered because he wears them a lot… Anyway, his new ones look hot.

Game:
Yo, what’s with the quarterbacks not being able to complete passes so far? Frank is disappointed that at the beginning of the game, they didn’t ask him if he was ready for some football. Because he wasn’t quite ready, so it would have been nice for them to ask.

Commercials:
*I really liked the Bridgestone commercial with the screaming critters. Hey, the lady screaming in the car, is she the girl from that “You LINT LICKER!” commercial? I think so.
*That Doritos commercial with the girl singing — I like that girl, who is she? I’d probably like to own some of her music.

Game:
Yay, the team playing against the Football Giants scored!

Commercials:
*Ooh! Range targets! Oooooh. Morgan Freeman in a dumb action flick. I’m in. Too bad it’s also got Angelina Jolie.
*Derek Jeter is pretty.
*GoDaddy.com once again proves they’re super-sleazy. I won’t be going to watch their commercial.
*Cool, a Dell laptop that comes in red. It saves lives, too!
*LOL! The giant carrier pigeons! Great FedEx commercial. Best one so far.
*cars.com commercial with Klondor also funny.
*Poor interview guy with the stain on his shirt. I knew right off this would be a Tide stain pen commercial. That’s a good one, too.

BTW, we’ve started fast-forwarding through the game. We’ll rewind when someone scores, but for now we’re just watching commercials. It’s all about getting to House.
Read more »

Fox News is full of crap

When I got downstairs, the Fox election coverage was already on, so I just kept my mouth shut and hoped for the best. However, after Fox has declared Nevada for Mitt Romney, here are the standings with <1% of the vote in (this flips above the ticker at the bottom of the screen):

Romney 46%
Paul 14%
McCain 14%
Thompson 13%
Huckabee 7%
Giuliani 3%
Hunter 2%

And then when they did that big screen a few minutes ago (when the standings were Romney, McCain, Paul, Thompson, Huckabee, et al), guess which three candidates they showed? Romney (1st place), McCain (2nd place at the time), Huckabee (5th place).

We report what we want you to see. You decide based on what we want you to know.

Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure they have an excuse, such as “these are the top three per the polls in the nation, so they’re the only ones you really want to hear about.” Even if that is their excuse, haven’t the polls been wrong in almost every race this year? Fair and balanced has become such a sham.

Forget this. I’m going shopping.

UPDATE: I’m not shopping yet; I’m finishing my cherry soda. Meanwhile, I emailed Fox to ask why they were misleading people with their big screen flashes. After I emailed them, they started reporting Ron Paul (I did make it clear in my email that I’m no Ron Paul fan) and even Fred Thompson! I’m not saying I had anything to do with that, but you’re welcome, America.

thank you, American Idol!

My other blog, Snark Raving Mad!, has been neglected even more than this one has. I’m so glad Cadet Happy has been around to keep posting reality snark while I’ve been trying to get settled into the house and, now, looking and applying for jobs. Otherwise, there would have been nothing to read over there for the last couple of months, and the SRM readers would have been sadder than a Paula Abdul without vodka. Before we up and moved from Florida, I was trying to think of ways to get more website traffic for SRM, because after all, a brand new blog always needs more traffic. Heck, I’ve been blogging here for four years now (dadgummit! I missed my blogiversary yesterday for the fourth year in a row!), and I still need more traffic. Ok, want.

I don’t know. With mountaineer musings, I just am what I am, and I think to improve my traffic here, I either need to install more optimization plugins with WordPress or even consider going to a website optimization firm for help.

Cadet Happy has been great at bringing traffic to SRM! because he’s one of those complete reality TV geeks that watches every reality show (no, really, every one) and also visits all the forums and all the sites. Also, he’s great at getting cross links. It turns out that the key to me actually getting more website traffic over at SRM! was simply the return of American Idol. That is a combination of Idol being a huge traffic maker and me getting my inspiration back. I’ve been happily watching television ever since we arrived in Idaho, but I have had no inspiration to snark it until the return of Idol. When Idol came back this week, I had so much fun! I had almost forgotten how much fun it is to write about AI. And with the return of LOST (a most snarkworthy show) at the end of the month, I don’t think my snark passion will get lost in the shuffle of moving boxes again.

Idol tonight!

I will be liveblogging the premiere over at Snark Raving Mad! Of course, I have to pause the DVR to write lengthy commentary and such, but it’ll be a semi-liveblogging. I’m sure Cadet Happy will have something to say about it, too.

I’m so excited!

it lasted a half day!

That little mini-rant I kept talking about the other day was about my inability to watch Fox News anymore. I never finished the little rant, and then I broke my personal boycott of FNC when they had the South Carolina debate, because hey, I wanted all the commentary I could get afterward, and I just didn’t have the guts to go stare at Wolf Blitzer’s smug face. Not that it matters any more, but here’s what it all boiled down to (for that half day that I refused to watch Fox).

I wrote most of this the day before the South Carolina debate, or the day of, or something like that.

That whole “we report, you decide” bit isn’t exactly how they’re operating these days, even if I put my Fred Thompson bias aside and look at their reporting objectively. After the election results came in from New Hampshire, I just couldn’t stomach them anymore, and I even had a hard time stomaching the exclusionary New Hampshire debate that they ran. We’ll get to that in a minute. Anyway, I actually switched to CNN the night of the NH election results and was pleased to find that they were covering *all* of the election results rather than only the top two candidates in each race (novel concept). Note: I will probably watch CNN when the Michigan results start to come in tonight and every night that there are election results to see. Of course, as the number of candidates whittles down, it won’t be as important, but for now, if I want the *whole* story on primary or caucus nights, I’ll have to switch to another channel for results. I’m sure I will find any worthwhile-ish Fox clips (which I expect will be few) floating around the interwebs the same night or next day anyway.

First, regarding Iowa. No secret that Thompson is my candidate and will be until he’s either elected or out of the race or found to be a fraud of Huckabee magnitude. In Iowa, Fred came in with 13% of the corn-sucking vote, barely edging out McCain, but edging him out nonetheless. They get the same number of delegates, yes. Now, if McCain had placed third, this was going to be considered a gigantic success — the FNC pundits all said so in the week leading up to the public-voting caucuses (the stupidest way to hold elections, BTW), so it must be true! But Fred finished third, and it went something like this: “Huckabee! Wow, look how he won! And Romney! In second! No one expected that, but hey, second isn’t bad, and he’ll surely take a lot of early states! Wow! And look, McCain with 13% of the vote!” Fred who? Or they would say something like, “Huckabee with a huge win over second-place Mitt Romney! And then there’s Fred Thompson in third, and WOW! John McCain finished barely behind that third-place guy, whoever he is! McCain almost in third!” And Fred Thompson isn’t the only person who was brushed aside. Believe me, I am NO Ron Paul fan and would never ever vote for him (he’s a freaking nutburger on foreign policy, which is the second most important issue to me, right after illegal immigration), but he got 10% of the vote in Iowa, and Fox completely ignored it. They had one mention of him in about three hours of coverage that we watched that night. And that was just a screen flash of places four through six. They did make sure to point out that Giuliani only received 4% of the vote, but they also made sure to tell you that Giuliani isn’t paying much attention to the early states and is counting on Florida and Super Mega Amazing Ultra Tuesday, so it’s no biggie that he didn’t fare well. Remember that, it’ll be important in a minute. In case you want to know and have only Fox News to tell you how to vote, here are the full returns for the Republicans in Iowa:

Huckabee (seriously) 34%
Romney 25%
Thompson 13%
McCain 13%
Paul 10%
Giuliani 4%
Hunter 1%

Oh, another thing about Iowa. Chris Wallace, of all people, was talking the other day about John McCain’s chances. This was before the South Carolina debate. Anyway, I was shocked when Wallace was talking about McCain, “who came in third in Iowa.” No he didn’t! He came in a very close fourth and receives the same number of delegate votes, but Fred had a few hundred votes more than McCain. I don’t know how after weeks of everyone knowing that Thompson got third, Wallace just decided he would revise the results like that.

Then there is Wyoming, which has more delegates than New Hampshire but was completely ignored because of this farcical notion the old media has instilled in most Americans that the people of Iowa and New Hampshire are the most politically educated and therefore the most important in the whole entire election process (hahahahaha — how many of them were still undecided when they woke up on election day? Voting by feeling, anyone?). I heard in a solitary mention on FNC, during a ten-second break from their reporting on the New Hampshire campaigning, that oh, by the way, Mitt Romney won Wyoming. That’s it. Nothing about the fact that even if he lost New Hampshire, he would still be out ahead of McCain as far as delegate count. And I would be remiss Fox if I didn’t bother to tell you that Fred Thompson also received 25% of the Republican vote in Wyoming and that Duncan Hunter received 8% of the vote. But you know, no big whoop, because Wyoming isn’t an elite coastal state or a corn-subsidy-loving state. So it doesn’t count (those silly conservatives). The Wyoming returns, since FNC didn’t report them:

Romney 67%
Thompson 25%
Hunter 8%

And then there was New Hampshire, which may be an indicator of how wishy-washies are going to vote but does nothing more than tell other wishy-washies in future voting states who the wishy-washies in that state think should be president. Yeah, it’s important because of all the media hype that makes it so, but good grief, NH only has twelve delegates! So everyone knew for weeks that Fred was spending zero time in New Hampshire. It was common knowledge to anyone willing to pay actual attention to politics. If there hadn’t been a debate there, I’m sure he wouldn’t have shown up at all. Because New Hampshire is a liberal state, and its independents tend to not vote for actual conservatives, and it was widely expected that they would swing to the Democrats anyway. Fred had no chance there, and he didn’t have the resources of Romney and Paul, so no point wasting money. It made sense to everyone. So the results came in, and this time, since Fred had none of the vote in New Hampshire, Fox made sure to point it out. “McCain wins New Hampshire! What does this say about conservatives? [Nothing.] Romney got second! He’s in real trouble now! Look at this, Fred Thompson with only 1% of the vote! When will he get out of the race?!” ARGH. Everyone who has paid attention to Thompson’s campaign knows he’s working hard on South Carolina and other southern states.

Oh, and let me just take a little second to disagree with Fox’s decision to not allow Ron Paul to participate in the New Hampshire debate. I mean, I kind of did a little cheer when I saw that he wasn’t going to be included, because his supporters drive me absolutely *nuts* spamming all the (admittedly always ridiculously inaccurate) online polls and those stupid text message polls that Fox does and cheering at the most ridiculous things he says (let’s trade with Cuba!). Ronulans notwithstanding, he had received 10% of the vote in Iowa, which is force-fed to us as super-important, mind you, yet they left Giuliani (at 4%) in and shut out Ron Paul. I think it was a bad decision, and they showed that they’re no different from the rest of the old media. We report (part of the story), you decide (between the candidates we tell you are okay). New Hampshire results:

McCain 37%
Romney 32%
Huckabee 11%
Giuliani 9%
Paul 8%
Thompson 1%
Hunter 0%

I do have to give credit to Fox for allowing Ron Paul to participate in the South Carolina debate. It was the right thing to do. However, Frank Luntz appealed to the Ronulans yesterday with basically the thoughts of everyone who isn’t one (I wish I could find the video), and if they do care about their candidate, they should consider following his advice for future debates and just when they’re out in the general population. I’m not pleased that Fox keeps leaving out Duncan Hunter, because he is still running. On the other hand, I’m happy to have debates with fewer candidates. Fred is already having to interrupt and push his way in for anyone to give him a question.

Also, until the South Carolina debate, Fox basically ignored Fred when they talked about the Republican candidates. They would mention Giuliani, McCain, Romney, Huckabee, Paul… no Thompson.

Of course, now it’s just me ranting, no personal boycott anymore. I will tune to CNN for results tonight, because as boring as their commentators are, and as much as I would prefer Brit Hume and Chris Wallace over the stale suits at CNN, they actually show *all* of the results every few minutes, not just the top two finishers. Or I can utilize my PIP and watch results *and* get commentary.

And then tomorrow, I’m sure Fox will be back to saying that Fred’s surge in the South Carolina polls must have been a fluke, because after all, look how well Mike Huckabee (who loves Jesus, in case you hadn’t heard) did in Michigan! They’ll fail to mention that Fred has been parked in South Carolina for almost two weeks. If you hear someone yelling at the TV tomorrow, that’ll be me.

Ok, this is long and rambly, and I don’t feel like proofreading. I’m just going to stop now.

UPDATE: Tonight’s problem solved! I’ll be watching Idol (and liveblogging it at SRM!) and checking Michigan results on the interwebz, yo.

plausible

One of the kids in the neighborhood made this snowman after the first snowfall.
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