Category Archives: 24

so… we’re just now watching 24

1) We didn’t care about it yesterday. Did anyone?
2) We’re busy with our house stuff.
3) I also did taxes yesterday.

Ok, so…

SARAHK: But really, I don’t care if China attacks Russia, whatever, but doing it for her?

SARAHK: How long did Chang say Jack has to get the part to him?
FRANK J.: An hour.
SARAHK: Hey. That’s the length of the show! You know, if they wanted to make it more realistic, they should have set the show in a city that has no traffic so they can actually get places in under an hour. Like Amarillo.
FRANK J.: That wouldn’t be very realistic to have Amarillo attacked every year.
SARAHK: They have a nuclear facility.
FRANK J.: But every year?

No, more realistic would be a different city each day.

my 24 semi-liveblog

over at IMAO. don’t worry, it’s very short.

i did a short one over there last week too.

i’ll get right on that

FRANK J: Hey, Sweetie, I’m heading home now. And dinner better be waiting for me when I get there.[It's good he's joking, because I do so like his face. He has a nice face, and I'd hate to destroy such a nice face. Oh, I'm sorry. Where's that Christian submissive wife in me? What I meant to say is: 1 Peter 3:7 says "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel," and that does not sound like he was dwelling with me with understanding.]
SARAHK: Yeah, that’ll ensure that dinner will be waiting for you when you get home. Ever.
FRANK J: I’m not sure what I’d do if dinner was waiting for me when I got home. I’d be so surprised, I don’t think I’d be able to eat.
SARAHK: Yeah, that too. Saying you’d be surprised, that’ll make me ever have dinner waiting for you. Ever.
FRANK J: I don’t think I’d want dinner that early anyway. I wouldn’t be hungry then.

See, I think he calls me and says things just so I’ll have stuff to blog about. Since I’m too busy to blog about 24 or to write my extensive post about why CSI: Horatio is the best Monday night television show and America should be hyped up on that instead of 24 which just isn’t doing it for me this year, and considering that my blogging about putting together bookcases and vacuuming the floors would not be the laugh riot of the decade, I think he’s just trying to help me out.

Oh, here’s another doozy: Colossians 3:19: “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter toward them.”
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today has to be better

yesterday beat me down. today has to be an improvement over yesterday. i was so whipped at the end of yesterday that i was falling asleep during 24.


my blog is experiencing all kinds of it. that’s because my house is experiencing less of it. i’m finally unpacking the rest of the boxes that have been sitting in my garage since i moved here two years ago. yeah, um, there are six or seven of the seventy-five boxes i brought (i’m not exaggerating — my stepdad counted them when he loaded them on the truck because he was baffled by the sheer volume of stuff i owned) still sitting in the garage. i’ve been making significant progress, though.

once the garage is cleaned up (so much trash went out today, and so many boxes have been going to my friend at church, and i have items i’m taking to the church building tonight for donation, and more for my friend, and so on), we’ll actually have room to organize the tool bench again. and the wall next to it. and i’ll be able to move Big Whitey (the big white cabinet) to the garage from the kitchen. and i’ll have room to set up a sawhorse and cut down plywood for the attic space (which is teeniny). then i can put all the attic stuff into the attic. after that, i can paint the garage, including the floor, and start on the inside of the house.

and eventually the outside of the house.

so you see. i am working hard at ignoring you.

oh, plus there is this stupid doctor i saw yesterday who decided he would rather have a peeing contest with me over who knows more about the gluten-free diet, him or me, than actually figure out why i’ve had chronic diarrhea for three years.

other than my neuro, i’m pretty much losing faith in doctors. so it looks like i’m going to schedule some time at the Mayo Clinic after all. because i want to make sure i’m doing the right thing. i want a positive diagnosis. i want the biopsy to make sure that i do have flat villi in my small intestine. if not, if i don’t actually have celiac disease — and wow, the improvement is remarkable, so it’s unlikely that i don’t — i want to know what i DO have so i can get better. i’m pretty sure it’s in my bowels, and i’d like a gastro to get on board with me who wants to figure out what’s causing everything. if i have celiac disease, i want a doctor to tell me that that’s all i have.

what’s it take to get a stinkin’ endoscopy and colonoscopy in this geriatric haven? they don’t have those in Florida? dadgum, just run some tests, ok?

there’s more to that.

anyway, i have to get back to neglecting y’all. :-) sorry.

my 24 and American Idol stuff is over at IMAO.

oh! oh! but i’ve started to injuring myself already with the house projects, so i’ll have that kind of blogging to do. i already bludgeoned my arm today pulling silk flowers out of a box. pulling flowers out of a box, i can injure myself. just you wait until i use the jigsaw. i’ll lose a limb, i tells ya.

24 prediction

so… the big shocker tonight. do y’all think a nuke is going to go off? or will it be worse? like Audrey comes back?

24 Day 6 season premier!!

6 a.m. to 7 a.m.

7 a.m. to 8 a.m.

gear up…

get ready…

24 starts tomorrow night, and the DVR-delayed live-blogging will begin! now, it starts at 8p.m. here, and we’ll be home from worship by then, but we’ll want commercial buffer… are they doing it commercial-free again this year? they usually do that…

oh, and i’ll be doing the liveblog over at IMAO, so if you come over here and wonder why i’m not here liveblogging, that’s why. go to IMAO for your livebloggage.

and don’t forget…
oh yes.

see, this is why blogging has been light. i’ve been resting my metacarpals.

24 Day 5 – 5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. – the season finale!

Previously on 24, Aaron verbally kicked President Estro in the nads, Estro tried to have Aaron killed, but Marty saved his life by killing his would-be secret service killer. Estro suicided Walt Cummings. Bierko escaped CTU’s transport and threw a nerve-gas canister into a submarine, which just happened to be in an L.A. civilian port being inspected by U.S. navy personnel as a part of the treaty that was signed less than a day earlier, because those treaties work *so* fast. Bierko took over the sub. To catch Bierko, Robocop was offered a deal, and Jack took him with him to the submarine, though we would all rather have Rico Suave for the op. Turns out, there are 12 warheads on the sub that the terrorists want to use for an attack on the U.S.
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I Just Have to Say…

I totally called that. You NEVER say “I’ll be right back.” And you CERTAINLY don’t say it twice. And I did say exactly who would be behind that door.

BTW, I decided to take tonight off from 24 blogging. I didn’t want the 2-hour season finale to take us 4 hours to watch, because um… ALIAS series finale tonight. WHOA! Special guest star Merrin Dungey, are you kidding? Didn’t she die? Twice?

I’ll get to blogging 24 tomorrow some time. But you know, I’ve got cleaning, dog training, a massage, and probably a few seizures on the way tomorrow, so it might not be early.

TV blogging

American Idol top 3 – go here.

24 – go here.

American Idol and 24

AI 5 top 4 – go here.

24 Day 5 – 3:00 a.m. – go here.

American Idol 5 top 5

Over at IMAO.

Also, I forgot to post a link to Monday night’s 24 recap.

24 Day 5 – 1:00 a.m.

Previously on 24, Daddy the Pit Bull SecDef got involved to try to help but ended up messing everything up by betraying Jack and trying to get things done his way, in order to save the government. He asked for President Estrogen’s resignation, but when Robocop got the recording from Jack, Estro instead asked for Daddy’s resignation. Chloe got arrested for helping Audrey and Jack when Miles the Weasel and the Unstable Sexual Harassment Girl teamed up. But Chloe escaped and threatened to recommend Unstable Girl for psych evaluation and told Unstable that Estro’s behind everything. Chloe went to Bill’s house. SarahK still wanted to know:  Where’s Rico Suave? Aaron and Marty went to meet behind the stables at the presidential retreat, but all that showed up of Aaron was his cell phone. Robocop cut Audrey’s arm and made her bleed all over her pretty white jacket. He should be executed for ruining that jacket. Jack gave up the recording to save Audrey, because he’s an idiot who loves needy women.

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24 Day 5 – 12:00 a.m.

Before 24 tonight, there’s a preview for Jack Bauer: The Movie. Kim Basinger plays Audrey. I might see it anyway.

Hey, Prison Break has the guy from Fargo and the un-pimped ride Volkswagen commercials. I LOVE those commercials. Especially the “We just dropped it like it’s hot” one.

Previously on 24, Jack went to the bank and got the bank manager killed, Estro blamed Robocop for complicating everything by killing Palmer. Aaron warned Jack that Estro put out a pres. order for Jack’s arrest, Mr. F and SexHarassman followed Audrey, who outsmarted them and called her daddy. Jack and Wayne got the tape of Estro and Robo talking about killing Palmer before. Evelyn? Well, we assume she’s dead. Who knows about her daughter, but I’ll bet she gets attacked by cougars.

It’s midnight, and the news is reporting that Estro wants martial law to remain in effect even though the terrorist threat is over. You know, so he can more easily follow Jack Bauer’s stolen police car, the only car on the road.

Robo assures Estro that they’ll get the recording from Bauer before he can get it to the right people. Estro tells Mr. F to let him be the first to know if Jack is in custody. Mr. F says they’re looking for Bauer and Robocop, and he tells her to put Jack first.

SexMan wants to go after Chloe, since Audrey ditched the trackers.

Jack and Wayne meet up with Bill in a secret, safe place. Jack asks Bill to babysit Wayne, and Bill nonchalantly asks where they’re meeting the SecDef. Jack tells him, because he doesn’t think that’s TMI for Bill, which makes me instantly suspect him.

Audrey goes to meet daddy at his plane, and now I remember the preview we saw the other night, where Audrey’s held at gunpoint for info. I hope she gets offed! Before they can get started talking, Jack shows up in the police car, and Daddy gets hot under the collar. Jack and Audrey explain that Estro’s setting Jack up and Daddy the only copy of the recording, because he’s not a politician or anything.

Daddy says he’s not surprised about Estro, because he was terrified when Estro took office (like we would have been if we’d gotten Algore). Audrey and Jack kiss. Audrey says, “Jack, I’m going with Daddy. This is going to be ok, I promise, and then we can talk about our relationship over chamomile tea at Chloe’s house!” Daddy says “one more thing” and punches Jack in the throat, because he forgot about that day 18 months ago when Jack walked into a terrorist camp (with Marines, of course) and saved him from a beheadin’. Audrey says wah, don’t do that. Daddy says Jack can’t go to the Attorney General with the info because he’ll destroy the office of the Presidency.

Daddy plans to not tell anyone (smart guy, let’s keep it to ourselves and no one will know when we die in a tragic accident!) but is gonna go see Estro about it. I’m sure that if Daddy the pit bull glances one time at Estro, Estro will collapse in a heap of tears and feminine hormones, but what if Robocop’s there with Estro?

BTW, Jack told Daddy that he trusts the source of the recording. You know, Evelyn, that girl I met tonight. She and I go way back a couple of episodes, so I’m sure of it.

Chloe asks the new blonde chick what’s up with the meeting in the situation room. That sensitive girl (I forgot what I named her) is setting Chloe up to find Audrey and Jack for Mr. F. Chloe starts ringing Audrey, and Mr. F and her goon trace the call (Audrey never picks up) to Van Nuys airport. The tac team starts leaving and Chloe realizes she was set up and reams the sensitive girl for it, calling Miles the Weasel an idiot in the process. Chloe is arrested.


Mr. F tells Estro they have Jack’s location, and he insists that F leave Jack for them to deal with. She calls Mike Novick, who’s “been on other things” for several episodes. I think that means he had the runs and just couldn’t get out of the bathroom.

Audrey and Jack are tied up together, because Daddy sucks with a capital ucks.

Mike checks out his Sprint phone and goes to see the Veep. He asks why CTU would have been pulled off the Jack Bauer acquisition. Mike is very unsure, and the Veep gives Estro the benefit of the doubt. Mike calls General Warren, who is on his way to pick up Jack Bauer. Scratch that. He tells Mike he has no idea what he’s talking about.

Mike confronts Estro as to why he took Mr. F’s people off the case. Mike also questions why the military doesn’t know about the military operation to bring in Bauer. Estro tells Mike he doesn’t answer to Mike and says that Mr. F shouldn’t be undermining him. Mike keeps questioning, and Estro says a covert team is on the case, you know, so the Chinese government doesn’t find out about Jack and think the president hoodwinked them.

Chloe and Miles the Weasel (who will be hereforth known as Weaselgoon) argue in the holding room. Chloe goes and grabs him by the shoulder as he’s walking out and swipes his keycard. He says, “Don’t touch me! I don’t like being touched by women!” Chloe says he’s not as big a jerk as he pretends to be and tells him that Jack’s innocent. He huffs and runs away. “A woman touched me!” So after he leaves, Chloe uses his keycard (it’s all about the keycards!) to get out of the holding room, swipes a computer from the holding foyer, and leaves through another door while the guard is distracted. Sensogirl catches Chloe, and Chloe says, “Jack’s innocent, but I can’t say why.” Sensogirl says explain yourself, and Chloe says Estro’s the one who killed Palmer. Sensogirl’s like, “Uh uh, I’m reporting you,” and Chloe’s like, “Yeah, well that sexual harassment thing against Weaselgoon was made up, and you’re sick, and if they find out Jack’s innocent and let me go, I’m gonna recommend you for psycho counseling, and you won’t like it!” so Sensogirl backs off and Chloe, in Chloe fashion, stomps off.

Marty goes to see Estro. “Are you coming to bed soon? I mean, you haven’t been to bed with me, or any woman for that matter, in years, and I was just thinking you should come to bed.” Estro blows her off and gets a call from Daddy the pit bull. Daddy requests a meeting with Estro tonight. “I don’t like your tone, Daddy. Remember who you’re talking to.” “Yeah, I know who I’m talking to, and you’re a girl, and you know what this is about.”

Estro waits for Marty to leave and calls Robocop. Where are you? Daddy’s coming, and I’m scared! Where are we with Bauer?

There’s a helicopter.

Is it me, or has Estro gotten a tan in the last 17 or so hours?

Marty asks Aaron what Daddy’s doing here, and Aaron says he can’t say. His forehead isn’t burned anymore. That L.A. plastic surgery is awesome. Aaron wants to meet Marty behind the stables. That will be awful when they’re discovered and people assume they’re having an affair. BTW, Marty played Aaron like a flute in that scene. I thought she was gonna kiss him.

Best scene of the whole show: Daddy confronts Estro. I know you did all this, I know you’re complicit in Palmer’s death, I know you’re setting Jack up. Estro asks what Daddy wants. “Daddy wants you to drop the charge against Bauer. Leave my daughter alone. Oh yeah, and resign by the time the morning news cycles. Tell everyone you’re too stressed. Go get the Veep, I wanna be here when you hand him your resignation letter.” Estro’s like, “Wha?”

But I’m sure Daddy’s little girl is gonna ruin everything.

Chloe shows up at Bill’s, and something is wrong with Bill. I don’t trust him, and if he kills Chloe, I’m done. Out on the show.

Speaking of out on the show, Marty’s at the stables and calls Aaron. His cell phone is on the ground, and she’s being watched by an unseen watcher person. If Aaron’s dead, I’m out.

Jack gets himself and Audrey free and tells Whiny to secure some guy he knocks out.

Jack corners Daddy’s henchman and gets the recording just in time for Robo’s guys to show up. Henchy gets dead, and Jack blows up a gas tank (he really should learn to shoot with both eyes open so he has full peripheral vision).

UPDATE: Reader Philip pointed out the Bluth family staircar on the tarmac. I just went back and watched, and it’s such a beautiful gratuitous shot! They show Robo’s men shooting, then they show the plane Jack’s hiding behind, then pan over to a quick shot of the staircar. Oh how I miss that show. And yay 24!

Robo has Audrey. Jack promises to give up the recording if he lets Audrey go. He cuts her artery in her arm and sends her out to meet Jack. He sees her bleeding (and this is very Redrum-All-Work-No-Play-Makes-Jack-a-Dull-Boy to me – Audrey in her white jacket, blood falling to the ground from one hand, small steps…). Audrey has to ruin everything just by being alive, but no, Jack won’t let her die. He’s anxious for that relationship talk. So he tosses out the recording, and Robo starts shooting. He doesn’t hit anything, because terrorists just shoot crazy and never hit anything. Jack gets distracted by Audrey’s dying, so he lets Robo get away so he can tie up Audrey’s wound.

Back in Estro’s office, the Veep has arrived, and Daddy is standing by wagging his pit bull tail. Estro gets the call that Robo’s got the recording, and as soon as Robo has a ride, he’ll bring it to Estro. Estro hangs up and tells the Veep that Daddy was just about to resign. Daddy says no, Estro orchestrated the David Palmer assassination. He’s led out by security.

So Audrey’s bleeding but ok. Something has happened to Aaron. Mr. F doesn’t have a clue about anything, Weaselgoon is even cluelesser. Robo is breaking into a car, Daddy is out of the cabinet for now, and Chloe’s hanging out with Bill.

Next week: Jack tells Daddy that Daddy betrayed Jack. Jack catches up with Robocop, Audrey tells Jack to do what he has to do (ok, thanks for permission). There’s a helicopter with a red laser trained on Daddy, who’s drivin’ down the road tryin’ to loosen his load. Audrey whines when Jack and Robo fight. Bill tells Chloe to go now, Mr. F says stuff doesn’t make sense, there’s a bigger problem from another new redshirt. Marty throws a fit at Estro, so Aaron must be dead, and if he is, lemme repeat: I’m out. Audrey gets even more pasty-faced than ever, what with all that blood loss, and she pulls a Chloe and gets really angry with a gun and a Robocop. The pres decides to silence Marty.

24 Day 5 – 11:00 p.m.

Graphic violence – yay, another main character will die this week. FRANK:  Sweetie, they’ve said the graphic violence warning every week this season. SARAHK:  Yeah, and a main character has died almost as often.

Previously on 24:  Mr. F took over CTU, SexHarassman acted like an insecure worm, Audrey had to explain herself to Chloe, Wayne questioned Evelyn, Evelyn used the Kidnapped-Daughter Card (that’s such a cliche among aides to first ladies), Robocop and Jack and Wayne had a big shootout, and Evelyn was shot in the leg. No Rico Suave after the first 5 minutes. And President Estro is bossing Robocop around.

Jack’s talking to Audrey and tells her that Palmer’s dead because Estro is bad. Audrey says “No way!” Jack says, “Way! We’re gonna have to call your dad once we get the recording of Estro talking to Robocop, like, okay?” Audrey says, “If we can talk about our relationship later, you’ve got a deal.”

Jack and Evelyn are in a hotel room, Wayne and the kid are waiting outside. Rico Suave still not in the show, and that makes me sad. Jack rips off Evelyn’s clothes (to look at her gunshot wound), and they let the kid in to see mom while Jack and Wayne go on a super mission. Have I mentioned I’d much prefer to see Rico in this role?

Robocop is talking to Estro, and Robo says that he’ll get the recording back. Estro says the plan was to make the country safer by having a nerve gas crisis (mkay), and everything just got super-scary and crazy when Robo decided to kill Palmer. “I mean, everything was going great when we were just plotting to kill the Russian president and kill innocent civilians at the mall and take over an airport terminal and execute innocents and kill everyone at CTU including that big old teddy bear Deadgar and put a Mentally Retarded Female in charge over CTU and disperse nerve gas into all the homes in L.A. But YOU! YOU had to go and execute the black man, just for funsies, and EVERYONE loves the black man! You ruined EVERYTHING!”

Chloe tells Mr. F that Estro’s on line 1, and Mr. F says, “I’m totally sitting at Bill Buchanan’s desk now, because it makes me feel pretty.” Chloe half rolls her eyes and nods. “Yeah, I get it. I hate you.”

Mr. F answers the phone, and Estro says, “Mr. F, it’s 11 p.m. Do you know where your Jack Bauer is?” “My who? Oh yeah, him. He’s supposed to be on his way here. But he’s gone off the grid. Which means we can’t find his destroyer nor his submarine. Need I even mention his Battleship?”

Estro tells her that he’s issuing an executive order for Jack’s arrest and framing.  Mr. F says, “What’d he do?” Estro says, “You know, he killed that black guy that everyone loves. Even SarahK loved him, and she doesn’t love anyone.”  Mr. F says, “But I thought you said he didn’t do it, and now you’re waffling… are you sure you’re Republican?” and Estro says something about new information, like the information that he’s a scum-sucking weasel not fit to lick Jack’s boots, and tells Mr. F to keep the warrant on the down-low. “You mean like your sexual preferences?” “And yours.”

Audrey fakes going over a report with Chloe so she can ask for a private secured super-strong cell-phone. Make sure it’s a Sprint Treo! Chloe says she can do anything except smile and then notices the warrant for Jack flash across her screen. Audrey draws some black clouds and crows into the background and says ominously, “It’s starting.” Chloe says, “Oh no. I hope you don’t mean our chamomile tea hour. I’m not ready! I’m not ready!”

Mr. F joins them and says she wants to talk to them about Jack’s warrant. Audrey says, “I’ma go get some sleep, but yeah, why the heck is there a warrant?” Chloe mentions the teeny fact that someone else confessed and tells Mr. F that she should read the logs because she’s a moron. Mr. F says she knows about the logs, and then writes down “check logs” on her hand in red pen.

When Audrey finally has enough, she walks out, and Mr. F calls SexHarassman and the new blonde chick Valerie, and they tell Mr. F  the transponder is on Audrey’s car. She says, “Yay! She’ll lead us to Jack! I’m so excited!”

Chloe keeps typing.

Still no Rico Suave, and it’s still the wrong Palmer brother that’s alive and with Jack. Wayne says, “We don’t need guns to rob a bank, right?” and Jack says, “Don’t be a wuss. If we’re gonna pretend to rob a bank, we have to have guns.” And they’re robbing the bank because they need to get to the safe deposit box where Evelyn had the evidence.

Jack, like Sydney Bristow, can disarm any alarm and pick any lock, so Jack and Wayne bust in to the bank manager’s house and scare him and his wife. Manager tries to yell for wifey. Jack punches him in the throat. They tie up the wife and tell the bank manager they’re going to the bank.

Audrey calls her daddy, and the SecDef is back on the show. He’s gonna stop off in L.A. to see his Precious. Audrey calls Chloe from the gas station, and Chloe helps Whiny find the tracker on the car. She puts it on a big rig (18 wheels on one of those, you know). Audrey’s jacket is pretty.

Estro and the Veep have a confrontation. The Veep is upset about the warrant for Jack, Estro tells him there’s new evidence, and the Veep’s like yeah right. Estro says that Walt must have been covering for Jack but now there’s no doubt that Jack was the shooter. Aaron is in the room when the conversation happens, and Estro dismisses him so Aaron can go talk to the first lady in secret.

Evelyn falls down goes boom, and Amy, the bad daughter, calls 9-1-1. Bad girl calling 9-1-1 when your mommy’s dying!

Estro has a press conference. Says he’s a major hero. Marty is talking to Aaron saying that Estro really had a good day, what with thwarting madeup terrorists and whatnot. Aaron is “battle-worn” and calls Jack to ask if there’s anything he can do for Jack. Jack says watch your back and don’t blink. SarahK thinks Aaron’s going to die heroically. Because we all love Aaron, and the writers hate us all.

CTU finds out that Audrey ditched the transponder, and Mr. F tells Harassman to find her. Something unimportant like that.

Jack and Wayne make the bank manager break into the bank, and Jack says, “No funny business, or I’ll totally put a hit out on your wife. I can do that, because I’m Jack Bauer, and you’re nobody.” Management asks Wayne why they’re there, and he recognizes Wayne. Jack, you should have taken Rico Suave. WHERE IS CURTIS? I WANT HIM BACK! NOW!

Anyway. Wayne tells him they just want evidence on who killed David, Management asks why they didn’t just get a subpoena. Wayne says, “They’re after me! They want to snatch my body! I’m scared!” and Management says, fine, whatever.

EMTs arrive for Evelyn, and Robo busts in and shoots the EMTs. Evelyn is barely lucid, Robo asks where Jack is, and Bad Amy screams for effect.

Marty and Estro are talking, and she’s praising him like crazy. “You were magnificent!” “Magnificent! I could get used to being called that! Especially if it came from an attractive, neat, well-dressed man!”

Yeah, so it kinda sucks that now that Estro’s grown a pair, he grew an evil pair. He gets a call from Robo, who tells him they’re on their way to get Jack. Estro says tell me when it’s done, and when Marty asks when what’s done, she can tell he’s lying.

NEWSFLASH! AUDREY IS ON MULHOLLAND HEADED FOR THE SCOOBY-DOO PASS! Or something like that. It would be incredibly heartbreaking (for no one) if she were to get run off the road and die.

Over-Sensitive Girl asks Chloe if she’s got a minute. “No.” I love her. Over-Sensitive is on to Chloe, but she doesn’t realize it, because Chloe’s way smarter than her.

The Robogang arrives at the bank so they can have a big hairy shootout. Robocop, of course, isn’t there, so these guys are all wearing red shirts. Red’s such a pretty color for a shirt.

They get into the safety deposit box and listen to a recording that implicates Estro and Robocop. Management now wants to help any way he can. Jack says he wants his car for a little longer. “My car??? But gas prices!!” “Don’t worry, I’ll bring it back with a full tank of gas!” They decide to trip the silent alarm so LAPD and Robogang can have a shootout, which the Three Amigos can use as a diversion.

Does SexHarassman do anything other than look like a worm? Just wondering. Chloe’s corrupting the satellite feed (in private) so they can’t track Audrey. SHMan realizes the server is corrupt, and Chloe’s not at her desk. Meanwhile, she deletes the server files to some Mission Impossible Sean Callery tunes. He gets there, she’s gone, he finds her coming out of the bathroom. He asks what she was doing. “Are you kidding? If you really want the details I’ll write you a report.”

Jack and his P99 (such a beautiful gun, I want to clean it and shoot it and caress it and load it with hollow points) lead the way out of the bank as the LAPD shows up. Military shows up too. Jack, Management, and Wayne run out and steal a police car, because that’s what innocent people do. Management gets killed. His poor wife. Jack calls Audrey and says that Estro is for shizzay a bad guy. What a shocker ending! Estro’s bad!

Next week:  SecDef asks how they know the recording is real. Then he confronts Estro and tells him the gig is up. SHMan (turns out, his name is Miles, which is perfect for such a creep) sets up Chloe with the help of Over-Sensitive Girl and tells Chloe she’s going to jail. Maybe at the end of the season, Chloe and Jack will escape overseas together! Jack tells Bill that Estro’s bad and using the military to keep his secret (not the brokeback secret, the evil pair of balls secret). Jack gets in a shootout of some sort.

what’s on my mind

Got an email from Martha today (Martha of Hank and Martha from the cruise). Of course, I haven’t yet responded, because I’m bad, but I got such a kick when she gave me a message from Hank:  they had fish tacos this week, too. Haha, we were eating them for lunch when I read the email. Also, she called me her adopted daughter, so that put a huge smile on my face. It’s crazy how alike we are.

The goals. On the Saturday dog walk, we talked about needing to get a plan for getting out of Florida (hmm, I wonder who brought that up). The goal is to be writing for a living by the time we move. We’re suspecting either Idaho or Texas, since the next place we live is probably where we’ll have our kids, and we definitely want grandparents around.  So. This has turned into a strict schedule for me, because my #1 priority is getting the first In My World compilation edited, plus editing his short story that has received interest from a sci-fi magazine.

The schedule.  It’s strict but doable. The main reason for the strict schedule is to keep the dog on a strict schedule, but the benefit is that my days are mapped out so I’m super-productive. Tomorrow is the first day, and I’ll let y’all know how many minutes it lasts. Actually, I’m very committed, so I’m going to make this work.

Dog Yeller with SarahK. That would be the show if I were Cesar Millan. Anyway, yesterday morning we were lying in bed, and the phone rang. It was Vickie, my massage therapist. Her neighbor Vickie has a German Shepherd who pulls her all over the place, and she’s at her wit’s end, with tears and everything (sounds like me the day Rowdi made me chase her through the neighborhood and I was a big sobbing mess). So Vickie told her about me and said she should talk to me about it, because my dog is so much better now. This made me laugh so hard inside (I mean, she is better, but the thought of me being someone to go to on this is hysterical). I haven’t talked to her yet (she missed my call and is supposed to call me next), but I’ll of course tell her about the Gentle Leader, the Dog Whisperer TV show, Cesar’s DVD, and Cesar’s book. Maybe when she gets her dog under control, our dogs can play together (he’s a boy). All the dogs in our neighborhood are mean to Rowdi. The little ones nip at her nose and yap yap yap until she leaves, and the big dogs growl and bark. Poor bad dog.

Speaking of Cesar Millan. I quickly jumped ahead in the book (we received it the day it came out) to see how he got to the U.S. It turns out, he came here illegally (though he’s now legally here and working on becoming a citizen). I’m all kinds of against illegal immigration, but I did get a new perspective on it reading Cesar’s reasoning for why he had to come illegally. It had nothing to do with the U.S. and everything to do with the corrupt Mexican government. I’m still against illegal immigration, but now it’s not completely black and white for me. Yeah, I know, it’s one man’s account. But the thing about that man is that he learned English, doesn’t run around protesting with Mexican flags and throwing our hospitality back in our faces, contributes to society, and is not a tax burden.

On TV’s LOST.  I’m getting bored with LOST. Everything is a mystery. From what’s up with the island, to who’s cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, to who Kate’s going to be in love with today, to who’s going to be stupid enough to ask Sawyer for help. There’s not enough action. Jack and Locke are fighting like a couple of females. Really, why don’t they just go out to the ocean and have that peeing contest. And quit acting like girls fighting over who gets to be captain of the cheering squad. The second most annoying thing about LOST, though, is that I’m having serious Rambaldi flashbacks. The ALIAS peeps never really knew what the whole Rambaldi endgame was, so at the end of season 4, they had the stupid big red ball making people evil. That’s it? Are you kidding? And now, the writers (and probably creator) of LOST don’t have a clue what’s going on with the island, so they make it like a Monday through Friday soap opera. Nothing happens on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday (hello, Days of Our Lives), so people really only get any entertainment out of Monday and Friday. Problem is, and this is the #1 most annoying thing about LOST, they only show it every 4 weeks or so. So one week we get a decent episode, then they’re off for 4 weeks, then 3 inconsequential eps in a row, then off for 4 weeks, then one decent episode… and so on. After the most recent hiatus, I had no desire to get back into it.

And on 24… I still think Audrey’s in on some bigger plot, the DHS lady (Mr. F) is evil, Tony’s not dead, and we haven’t seen the last of Walt’s widow. Oh, and the Chinese government – I’ll bet they figure out Jack’s not dead, if they haven’t already.

And in Melbourne, Florida, we got rain! It was fantastic, around 4:30 Saturday morning we started having major thunder and lightning, and the rain lasted a couple of hours. I was so happy to see the rain. And I’m pretty sure my Gerbera daisy plant outside was happy to see it too, because now I not only have the one big flower standing tall, I also have two new babies making their way up!

The weather today was fabulous. And we have mucho clouds, so I’m hoping this cooler weather will continue.

Gotta go to bed now. The new schedule says so.

24 Day 5 10:00 p.m.

over at IMAO.

24 Day 5 9:00 p.m.

crossposted from IMAO:

Great. There’s the graphic violence warning. That just means someone else we like is gonna die.

Previously on 24, Tony’s supposedly “dead” (yeah, right, where was the fan-fare). DHS is taking over CTU, President Estro is totally doing martial law based on the Veep’s “advice”. Half-Neckid Man-Girl gave up Audrey as her contact. Booty Call told Jack about Man-Girl. Wayne Palmer was attacked by terrorists on his way to see Aaron with vital information.

Ok, so the new ep starts, and Bill Buchanan tells Audrey that he has to detain her. “But why? Does Jack want to talk about our relationship in private? I’ve been wanting to do that, but he’s always brushing me off because of “National Security.” Pshhht. As if!”

Bill tells Audrey that she gave info to terrorists, and she says that’s not true, and did Jack sanction this? Oh yeah, he did, and he’s totally going to strangle your pinkytoe later!

Jack is talking to Man-Girl (who doesn’t have a man’s body, just to clarify, she just has a manly jawline. Not my fault.). He tells her he’s totally gonna make her sorry if she’s lying.

Buchanan is arguing with Mr. F, saying that he’s known Audrey for years (18 months, to be exact), and they can’t do aggressive interrogation on her. Jack walks in to Mr. F (after his super-fast magic-carpet ride to CTU) and tells her they need to let him interrogate Audrey. NO! LET SARAHK DO IT! Jack threatens Mr. F and tells her that if she’s wrong and interrogates Audrey the wrong way, her daddy, the SecDef, is totally gonna kick Mr. F’s pinkytoe. Mr. F is like, “but what if she’s guilty?” and Jack is like, “You’re a retard! Maybe we should figure it out first! Is your name Kellie Pickler?”

Terrorists are doing something, but really, do we pay attention before they actually do something? They’re heading toward a target with lots of canisters. Whatever, this is about STRANGLING AUDREY!

Chloe tells Jack that Audrey and Walt Cummings were totally DOING IT! They stayed in the same room at the same hotel and whoa. That makes her an adultering fornicator, and yay! I have reason to hate her! Woohoo! And Jack has totally forgotten that he was doing it with Diane, and Chloe is like, “Sweeeeet! I got to tell Jack that Audrey’s a whore!”

Sherry shows up and wants to talk to Chloe. She’s there to replace Edgar. I know this girl, what was she on before. Chloe and the new girl are gonna have chamomile tea later, I feel it in my bones. New girl and that Mr. M from DHS are eyeing each other like they’ve DONE IT before.

Jack goes in and questions Audrey. Audrey’s like, “But we used to DO IT, Jack, you totally know I couldn’t be bad!” And Jack’s like, “Yeah, but I’ve DONE IT with lots of girls, you the least of them.” Jack asks if Audrey knows Walt or Robocop. She says she’s met Walt a couple of times, and Jack’s like, where? And Audrey’s like, “Oh just office parties, no biggie,” and Jack’s like, “YOU WHORE! YOU SHARED A ROOM WITH HIM LAST YEAR!” And she’s like, “Oh yeah. But you know, it was only because you died, and he’d just separated from his wife, and I totally broke up with him.” And Jack says, “Why?” and she says, “Because he wasn’t you.” And SarahK is like, “Gag me with a spoon!” And Audrey’s like, “I only didn’t tell you because he turned out to be a traitor, and no, really, that’s it!” And Jack totally wants to kill her, and he’s holding her up against the wall by the neck, and I’m LOVING IT! And Jack’s like, “This convo is totally over, man,” and Audrey has totally won.

Chloe asks Sherry why Mr. M from DHS is so hostile toward her. And Sherry tells Chloe that a while back, they worked together, and she had to file a SEXual harrassment charge against him because he was a total fiend, and she says, I shouldn’t mess up, and Chloe says, “Uh, yeah.”

Jack says Audrey is done being interrogated because he can’t take it any more, and Bill says that DHS’s Mr. F wants her questioned more. Me? I just want Jack to strangle her once more. Maybe twice more. Jack starts strangling people just for fun, and Audrey’s being taken away, and Jack’s been taken into custody.

Robocop is talking to his buddy asking if Wayne is dead yet. “No, but he will be soon!” Aaron, the greatest SS agent EVER, asks where Wayne is. He decides to go out and look for Palmer, and I’m like, “Why is Wayne alive and David’s dead? Is that justice?”

Jack tells Mr. F that Audrey is innocent. “Why?” “Because I DID IT with her! And Nina Meyers is — anyway, forget about Nina, this is about Audrey, and she’s whiney and stuff, but I totally know she’s not lying.”

Do we really need a sexual harrassment subplot right now? This new girl (whom I really want to call Jamie, because she reminds me of Jamie from the first season) is fighting with Mr. M, and Chloe comes to her rescue and tells Mr. M that if he doesn’t shut up and stop being a pinkytoehead, she’ll file a complaint with Division and show him what protocol is all about. And SarahK’s like, “I love Chloe!”

At a gas company (Wilshire, which is totally the name of the hotel in Pretty Woman — the Regent Beverly Wilshire), the terrorists arrive and shoot people. They want to go to the control room. Ok, just don’t shoot me, I’ll take you there. So they’re gonna put the nerve gas in the gasoline, but that’s ok, because gas prices are so high that everyone in L.A. owns electric french-fry cars now, so no one will die. Aw, how sweet for it to end so cleanly! Frank says it’s a natural gas pipeline, so I’m totally bummed that my joke no longer works. Darnit! I hate it when I’m not funny!

Terrorist tells the gas guy to reduce the pipeline’s PSI by 1/2 in the next half hour (whew! I was worried that it wouldn’t be within the hour!) or he kills people.

Audrey’s about to be tortured. Can I start cheering? Dangit, I hate it when Frank has a headache and I can’t yell.

Wayne tells Aaron to drop his gun, and after he points his gun at the back of Aaron’s head, Aaron says, “Whoa, it’s me. Don’t hurt me.” And they get happy and go terrorist hunting together.

Audrey is being tortured (translation:  talked to harshly, wooo, poor baby). I think they injected something too, but big whoop. I inject myself every evening. It’s not that bad.

Jack goes back to Man-Girl and asks why she’s fingering Audrey in the whole thing. She admits that Robocop told her to blame Audrey for everything. Now, is there really anything wrong with that? Jack forces Man-Girl to tell him where it is, and it’s the natural gas distribution center, though they don’t know why. See, we’re all-electric-type people. We don’t want anyone to be able to distribute anything via natural gas, so we go electric.

Audrey’s all freaked out and sweaty, and whew, get that girl a blow dryer because she looks like a wet chihuahua right now. Ew. They’re kissing. Blech. Cognac shrimp a second time. My esophagus hurts from the throw-up acid.

Jack just said, “I’ll be right back.” Did he learn nothing from the Scream movies? You never say you’ll be right back, because that means you’ll be right dead! Stupid Jack!

New girl figures out that the PSI thing would happen, so they figure out which natural gas plant is under attack. When Bill walks away, new girl tells Chloe that Bill’s hand brushed her shoulder, and that was wrong. New girl’s a whiney liberal. That’s the only way to describe her. Boohoo, he accidentally touched her. Ok, I’m pretty sure she’s the girl who was on Felicity and every time I see that show in reruns I always think it’s Jennifer Garner and then I decide she’s not JG.

On the way back from the bathroom just now, I smacked my ankle on the TV-trays holder. I could cry right now.

Ok, so they’re headed to the gas place. To be honest, I’m more interested in Tony (who’s not actually dead), Chloe and the new psycho-girl, and Audrey, because it was really cool seeing her strangled. My ankle hurts.

Chloe is trying to help Jack pinpoint where in the gas place he needs to attack, and Jack’s yelling because he’s sexually frustrated (wouldn’t you be if you OUAT DID IT with Audrey?). I think my ankle is swelling. Chloe tells Jack to hurry. But we’re only half-way through the season (as of last week), so if they catch Bierko now, what will we do for the next 11 hours?).

Jack tells everyone to turn their silencers off. (??? Am I the only one who finds this silly?) Anyone notice that Curtis is there? I wonder if he’s gonna die. I’ll be mad if he does.

The canisters have been activated by remote by Bierko (i’m so confused. where’s Robocop?), so Jack wants to blow up the gas with C-4 so the gas doesn’t go to the houses and the Centox will be incinerated.

Everything starts blowing up, but Jack just has to chase Bierko. Jack looks at Bierko, and Bierko falls down. There are lots of explosions. And the beep-boop of the end of the air.

My ankle hurts.

Next week:  Audrey asks Curtis if Jack is there, and Curtis is like, “Am I my Jackie’s keeper?”. CTU is being taken over by DHS. Elaine (Martha’s aide) is someone’s source inside the White House (assumably Robocop’s). Note:  They do not show Jack nor Tony on the show next week, which mean’s they’re both alive.

24 day 5 – 7 p.m.

Crossposted from IMAO.

Ok, so if it’s Chloe that gives “the ultimate sacrifice” tonight, I’m done with this show. FOREVER! You hear that, Joel Surnow?? Done!

Yay! Graphic violence! BTW, I don’t think there’s an ep this season that hasn’t had the graphic violence warning.

Previously on 24, Kim was all about her, the Veep said something, and Bill talked to Tony about Robocop. Jack tried to question Robocop. Lynn’s keycard was used to gain access, and CTU had (nerve) gas. Edgar died. SarahK hated TPTB.

So now there are 2 safe zones. CTU director’s office, holding room 4, situation room, medical. So that sounds like 4 safe zones, but who’s counting when Edgar’s dead. And that must mean Tony’s fine, and if he’s the other one that dies tonight, I’m done with the show. Tony, Chloe, Curtis, Jack. Anyone else, go ahead and kill ‘em. But those four… beware the wrath of SarahK.

Jack wants to know if Robo’s still alive. Chloe is watching her best friend being dead. That makes him Deadger. Jack asks for Chloe’s help, and Chloe is fairly unresponsive. Give that girl an M4 and a terrorist.

Darnit, I just threw my drink all over me. I must be sad about Deadgar and crack whores.

Kim’s evil boyfriend is trying to “help” Chloe to get her out of shock at seeing her best friend die. Chloe’s sad she treated Deadger like crap all day (when doesn’t she treat everyone like crap? She should feel good about that!).

Lynn’s saying this is his fault, because someone used his keycard to get in. THAT’S RIGHT, MIKEY, IT’S YOUR FAULT IF WE LOSE THE GOONDOCKS! No one really cares about L.A. (except my sis-in-law and Frank’s aunt Helen and such), but we all care about the Goondocks.

Red-shirt security guard:  “So we’re all gonna die because you were embarrassed [that your sister beat you up and stoled your keycard].”

Tony’s just put the doctor in the CTU ward to sleep. And he wants to kill Robocop. He’s really ticked about Michelle. Jack is bustin’ in on comms and is trying to talk Tony out of killing Robocop, since we need him and all.

Tony tells Jack to hurry up, because he just doesn’t know how long he can keep from killing the man who killed his wifey.

Back at the DHS, the Veep is asking how CTU could have been hit. 40% of CTU’s personnel have been taken out. Logan is worried about how they’re gonna fight the nerve gas threat. This DHS lady is saying she can go in and neutralize stuff and take over.

The terrorists have a new target and are glad that CTU is momentarily subdued.

Oh, and Jack is trying to get Chloe to help, and she’s a little traumatized, and Barry (the evil) is telling Jack that Jack’s a meanie. Jack’s like, Dude, if we had time for your psychobabble, I’d totally be for it, but we don’t have time, so step back before I kick your pinkytoe. BTW, you took advantage of my daughter.

Kim’s like, “Barry’s my only reason to live,” and Chloe’s like, “You people sicken me. Fine. I’ll get back to y’all if you’ll just SHUT UP!”

So the nerve gas is mixed with a corrosive agent that’s eating through the walls or something, and they’ve got mega-warnings that say they’re all gonna die. SLICK SHOES? ARE YOU CRAZY?

Back at the compound, Martha’s mad that the Veep is making policy because President Estro can’t make a decision to save his life. Mike Novick tells Martha to use her influence on Estro. “Bake him a cake. He really likes cake.”

Bill says everyone’s safe except for that corrosion that’s gonna let the gas in. Bill says something about flushing the Centox out of the areas before they all die. Audrey wants to believe the numbers are off. Jack wants to blame himself that Kim might die from nerve gas. Chloe’s all business and looking for solutions. Some program is keeping all of them hostage, because they’re gonna die if the program keeps them un-ventilated.

Long story short:  Nerve gas and bad ventilation:  everyone dies. Good ventilation and fixing stuff: everyone lives. Except someone.

Chloe reminds Jack not to screw up going thru the ventilation system, or he’ll kill them all. “Thanks, Chloe, I was really happy about having a picnic later.”

Kim tells Chloe not to talk down to her. “Why not? I always talk down to idiots.” Barry says everyone breathe. Chloe says, “What’s up with Barry and the breathing? Is that his solution for everything?”

Jack gets thru something that keeps him from inhaling gas. Lynn is in holding room 4, which is connected to the room that Jack needs to get to. If Lynn can get to the room above the holding room, he can save them all. Jack tells them that Lynn and the redshirt are gonna die to save everyone.

Yay, it’s Lynn that’s gonna die! “No firmen! No firmen!” Yay! Mikey can save us all with his marble bag! Have I ever mentioned that Goonies is my all-time favorite movie? It really is.

Kim apologizes to Chloe so they can have a moment. Chloe tells Kim that everything she passed onto Jack was about Kim. Chloe:  “Yeah, well shrinks are always giving advice that they prob’ly don’t follow.” Kim:  “How are you doing?” “Oh, I’m great. Woke up with a guy I’ll prob’ly never see again, but you know. All in a day’s work. Later, I’ll have chamomile tea with Audrey.”

The redshirt is talking to his daughter on the phone, telling her to mind her mommy. Lynn is rushing him, because it’s time to get moving and sacrifice themselves. Chloe thanks Lynn for saving everyone, and he and the redshirt go off to save everyone. Lynn runs upstairs and fixes the system so that the corrosive stuff is no longer corroding stuff. Jack comes on over the intercom and tells Lynn and the redshirt that they’re heros. The redshirt breathes and thinks he’s ok, but then he dies. Lynn holds on not breathing as long as he can and then dies, in the arms of One-Eyed Willie. But thank you, Mikey, you saved the Goondocks! BTW, that looks like a super-painful way to die.

Tony and the doc are in the infirmary with Robo. No progress.

Chloe is working the problem, but her team is dead, so it’s kinda hard for her.

Jack wants Kim to get checked out by medical when the barriers are lifted. Kim says she can’t be around Jack even though he loves her and she loves him. It looks like Kim is gonna leave for good, and yay! Can’t say that hurts SarahK’s feelings.

Audrey grabs Jack’s hand from behind and asks if they can talk about their feelings. “No. Woman, can’t you get a grip?” “But Jack… we need to talk about our relationship…” Jack sighs and wishes he’d killed himself to save everyone else.

Estro and the gang are talking, and Estro is trying to say that martial law is super-fantastic! After all, says George Clooney, Hollywood is ahead of everyone on the issue of martial law. And all of the world is so grateful to have George Clooney. Bluuuurgh. Sorry, the tilapia was so good going down, but coming up, it had Clooney. Yuck.

Some prostitute’s phone is ringing, and some John is pressing her. Prostitute promises to have the info in a few minutes. This is half-neckid Coletta. Not Neckid Mandy like alla ya’s were hoping.

Meanwhile Karen Hayes from DHS is calling Bill to tell him that she’s coming to take over. All of CTU’s stuff has been transferred to DHS’s laptops. CTU is no longer operational. And DHS is in full control. They’re gonna fire CTU staff and replace them with DHS peeps. Hmm, something crazy’s gonna happen.

Evil Barry (C. Thomas Howell) stops to thank Jack for  being awesome, and Jack says Barry should take care of Kim.

Tony tells Jack that Robo is going to die now at Tony’s hands. Jack says “d—it!” like always, and Tony knocks out the other guy in the room who’s not already in a coma. Tony’s about to jab a giant needle in Robocop’s chest when Robo wakes up, jabs the needdle in Tony’s chest and injects Tony with whatever. Tony is dying. Jack shows up to save Tony. Tony doesn’t care about living because Michelle is gone. Robo has Tony’s gun and has properly checked it for magazines and ammo

If Tony is dead, I’m done with this show. The good news is, there’s a boop-beep at the end of the show, so Tony shouldn’t actually be dead.

Next week, there’s a pansy president who institutes a curfew in L.A., a power-hungry woman, no sign of Tony (which probably means he’s not dead), a helicopter, and Curtis.

24 Day 5 – 5 p.m. and 6 p.m.

Graphic violence is so wonderful! Let us praise the graphic violence warning! We’re gonna be really disappointed one day if there’s not graphic violence.

Previously on 24, Jack got stoopid and tricked by Robocop, Audrey made me almost like her, and Lynn went cuckoo for cocoa puffs, so Curtis jacked his position. Mr. Logan didn’t save his wife, but CTU and Aaron did (3 terrorists, 3 bullets, 3 kills).  The terrorist threatened President Estrogen.

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24 Day 5 – 4:00 p.m.

Graphic violence – hooray!

Previously on 24… It’s possible I’ll start to like Audrey. Y’all should put me down, because no one should live in the condition of liking Audrey. Plus, some other stuff happened, like the First Lady jumped in the car with the Russian president so the American Frenchman wouldn’t give the assassins the motorcade route of the Russian president.

As the hour begins, President Frenchie is having a John Kerry moment. Flippity-flop, I just can’t decide whether it’s wrong to allow the assassination of President Suvarov and my wife. Baby no wanna make big decision.

So the president calls Martha and tries to convince her to get out of the car. “Martha, just ask the driver to come to a rolling stop! You jump out, I’ll get you nice surgery to save your face!” Marty says no, and President Flipper is unsure whether to get his wife killed.

Audrey enlists Edgar to meet her somewhere and keep it secret! Keep it safe! We either have a new character (Carrie?) or Lynn just needs someone to yell at.

Curtis is looking on, as he was unharmed after being dumped in the ghetto. He’s so pretty, so it’s good he survived!

Audrey and Chloe are working together to help Jackie Jack, and Chloe is thinking, “I’ma put a cap in Audrey if she gets in the way of my love affair with Jack. And I’m a good shot.”

And now we know that Christopher, who’s somehow involved blah blah terrorist, is one of the guys Jack investigated within CTU, and he got fired, so he’s mad, and oh no! Vendetta!

Audrey and Chloe get Edgar to help Jack “before it’s too late.” It’s always just “before it’s too late”.

Frenchie almost makes a decision, but then he decides to suck his thumb instead. I don’t like Mike Novick these days. He’s advising President Estrogen to go ahead and kill his wife and that world leader guy.

Lynn is yelling at Carrie and firing her. “You don’t work here anymore.” “Did I work here at all? I just got my badge five minutes ago. Hey. Got something on your chin, I think it’s stupidity.”

Lynn is soooo on to everyone, who’re soooo working against Lynn. Lynn catches Audrey and Chloe in the act (of working against him), Audrey big-times him (I’ma call my daddy!), and Lynn insists on Chloe coming back with him. “She’s my ball! I’m taking her home!”

Jack goes into this blah blah terrorist guy’s company and wants to meet with the SVP R&D, because he’s the blah blah guy. Jack’s new name is John Barrie, and he matches his picture great at the security desk. As soon as he gets into SVP Christopher’s office, D.J. Chris tazers him (good thing he’s not carrying a lighter on him!) and Jack wakes up with no gun. D.J. Chris never believed Jack was dead. Chris is being “implicated” by someone inside CTU because of his history with Jack. Yeah, I’ll believe him at arm’s length. Don’t turn your back on him, though, Jack!
The company has a bunker or something, and D.J. Chris is taking Jack to it and giving full access to the Centox stuff.

Fast Eddie Styles has new info for Chloe, about Suvarov’s route to the airport, and they go tell Lynn, who calls them analysts like that’s an insult. Curtis sits quietly until they leave; then he tells him to stop being stupid and call Secret Service. Lynn says “No no no! Me boss! Me in charge! Me yell! You sit!” and Curtis looks like he’s ready to laugh at Mr. Meanie.

Audrey confronts Lynn about the President Suvarov thing, and they yell a lot. And Lynny Boy is off his nut. Whooooo. Crazy! Dadgum. I’m starting to like Audrey. She’s summoning Fast Eddie and Chloe to the corridor. Eddie’s talking about legalities, Chloe’s all for breaking the law (because she’s awesome now), and no one has yet consulted the manual on how to oust someone who’s flippity floo off their rocker.

Audrey brings in Curtis. Oh wait! She has read the manual! Curtis is the ranking agent, and he’s the only one who can invoke Section 112 of the CTU Crazy Leader Manual, and Audrey’s totally talking him into it. Curtis is all, “Man, I’ve already been shot, choked, dumped in the ghetto, and now you’re consulting the manual on me! Can’t I have a pee break? Get some coffee? Watch my stories on the breakroom TV?”

Mike doesn’t have answers for President Whinyface but reminds him how long he’s got until the motorcade is dead. The President wants to pray about it, which is the first good idea he’s had today. He and Mike kneel together. Dun-dun-dunnnnnnnn.

Lynn catches Edgar and Chloe doing their subversive stuff, and tries to fire and arrest everyone. Curtis says, “Yo, I’m totally gonna shoot people up in here if you carry out that order.” He puts his hand on his Glock, and the other security guards look at Curtis’s weapon. “Aww, man, he doesn’t have a strap on his holster! He can totally draw faster than me! I’ma do whatever the black man says!” And Curtis looks pretty. [Ed: by pretty, I mean manly and suave with a very good fashion sense. I heart Curtis.]

So the security guard says, “Hey, whatever you want, Mr. Curtis, is totally what’s happening.” And Curtis relieves Lynn of command, releases Bill from prison, and brings Tony out of a coma. Sorry, that last part was my wishful thinking. And so is the part where Curtis completely bans Kim Bauer from ever returning to the TV screen.

Ugh. I almost like her, I know it, I feel it. She needs to do something annoying real quick, like call Jack to talk about their relationship. Or ask Chloe if they can have chamomile tea together.

They like the name Carrie on this show. Wasn’t that the girl Michelle hated in season 2? Are y’all just rubbing it in our faces that Michelle is dead? I hate you, Joel Surnow! (Or writers.)
Bill overrides everything and wants to alert Secret Service immediately. They let the president know, and he’s so happy that they’ve alerted Secret Service, because you know, he was too giant a pansy to do such a thing.

HUGE ATTACK OF GRAPHIC VIOLENCE! Just when I start to think Aaron is dead, he opens the car door and saves the day by bustin’ caps in some terrorists. I still think he’s gonna die right afterward, you know, cliche heroic death, blah blah. But no, the writers didn’t cop out like that. Yay writers! Except for the killing Michelle thing.

Oh, and YAY AARON! WE HEART YOU! You know, if you were real live and stuff.

Aaron has saved the Russians, the First Lady, and himself. And you just KNOW that Marty’s gonna beat the crap out of Mr. President when she gets back. Except that he’s gonna take credit for the rescue.

Jack’s now in the bunker with the terrorist who’s supposedly not a terrorist. “No way in or out of the bunker.” Hmm, I wonder if that will play into the final minutes of this episode. Terrorist guy bails, and Jack finds himself with no phone and with a bomb. I told y’all not to trust that guy!

Christopher leaves the building, talking to some chick on the phone, maybe Neckid Mandy. And Jack has to find a way out of the building quick, or find a way to contain the bomb. He just gets it contained when his old pal Chris blows stuff up. And now Jack is angry. Chris won’t like Jack when he’s angry.

Terrorist man calls President Canary and threatens to release the gas again. And the hour is over.


So… next week… monkeys are moving 24 to a different time so we can have 2 hours. Kim’s back, Tony wakes up, Marty tells Aaron that Logan is a rat bast**d, and we have the biggest surprise of the season… so what do we think that will be?

*Aaron and Martha run away together!

* Neckid Mandy wears clothes.

* Tony is the mole (not).

* Audrey’s running the whole thing, because she found out Jack was alive, and she is TICKED. First Jack killed her husband, then he went and died, and she found out he didn’t die, and angry woman scorned wrath!

* Kim isn’t annoying! She doesn’t get attacked by cougars or lured into secret basements of cavedwellers!

* Lynn can hum the entire Notre Dame fight song!

* President Logan makes a decision and is actually sure about it!

* Aaron says screw this, I’m going to work as Jack Bauer’s personal bodyguard!

* Mike tells the President that it was way too uncomfy for them to pray together since the President is a godless, mindless twit!

* or Michelle’s not really dead! She’s pulling all the strings!

24 Day 5 – 3:00 p.m.

it’s the Jack Bauer Power Hour! complete with graphic violence! spoilers below the fold…

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24 Day 5 – 2 p.m.

so Jack & Curtis have gotten a break and know where to meet the super bad terrorist guy.

they’ve moved Walt’s body. what?? Walt was married?? what woman would marry him?? yep, let Walt go out with some dignity, him being a rotten traitor and all. that suicide sure is dignified.

Evelyn still hasn’t told the first lady that she was the one who told Walt where to find the info on the first lady’s body. btw, boss lady, i kinda thought you were crazy, so i gave him all the info he needed to attack you. my bad.  i think Evelyn’s gonna be trouble. she doesn’t believe Walt could do that and she thinks the first lady is a bit wacko. so she’s gonna get all nutso and stupid and ruin stuff.
yay. we get to see Audrey look worried while Jack’s doing an undercover op, trying to convince them he’s one of them and scared of them.

i’m so shocked! they punched Jack and “made” him go with them!

look at Audrey acting like her love for Jack should be a determining factor of when the tac teams move in. how whiny of her.

i loved the look on Logan’s face when Martha told him she’s going to tell Walt’s wife the truth because it’s the right thing to do. betcha the President either offs her, locks her up, or commits her.

btw, i’m very disappointed in Mike Novick. truth is good. lying is bad. didn’t he ever go to Sunday school? the guy’s Italian, so probably Catholic. don’t they teach lying is bad? (yes, i’m such a horrible person to stereotype Italians.)
i’m starting to think Lynn is a mole. i’d rather let one canister be set off than 20? bad Rudy! do the Truffle Shuffle!
“may i see your paperwork?” “yes. funny, it’s more like metal than paper, but it will kill you all the same.” “but wait! i have this rock! doesn’t that beat metal?” “yes, but this is a gun, not scissors, and you’re wearing a red shirt.” / voices in my head.
the President deserves a divorce. i get angry just looking at him. i want to divorce him myself.

remember last week when i said that Kim and all of Jack’s ladyloves and such will be at the mall? watch, i’m gonna be right.
do the terrorists know you’re not allowed to knock out Jack Bauer? it’s like a federal crime punishable by time in a prison no one knows about. plus, he’ll kill you for it. i think the CTU peeps should start yelling in Jack’s earpiece to wake him up.

i hope i don’t start liking Audrey. i’m starting to not like Bill, and i know i don’t like Lynn. i liked him until he screwed up an op to go meet his druggie sister, but now i’m done with him.

ok, so i was wrong about Jack’s hordes of women being there. but i don’t think i’m wrong about Lynn being a mole.
Walt’s wife is a terrorist, i bet. she’s too big an actress (big like recognizable, not big like large) and when the President comes in to stop Martha from telling the wife, she’s gonna kill him. she could easily pass for Russian. in fact, in this one ALIAS episode last season (Welcome to Liberty Village), she played a Russian, and i believed it. so i’m thinking she came over from the motherland and recruited Walt.
which is open for next episode…

speaking of next week… that guy who talked to Walt in the first few episodes (pacing with the earpiece) is gonna help CTU apparently. and the President is sanctioning someone’s murder.

and next week, there’d better be more Chloe! i get sad when she just runs tech and doesn’t insult people and tell them to shut up.

eh, nothing really quoteworthy… this episode was a’ight. had some action, but no big twists, nothing too unpredictable. which means next week will probably be stellar.

Frank wants me to tell y’all that he thought this ep was kinda blah.