Category Archives: Politics & Politicians
…Obama’s an idiot. I know you know this, and I know you know that I know, but I like to watch the spectacle who very well could take us into We’reallgonnadie Land. From Hot Air:
Obama will speak about “historic” US-German relations, but once again, Obama’s own grasp of history has been proven deficient. Not only does the site contain a monument to Prussian victories over other American allies in Europe, its placement was decided by Adolf Hitler — in order to impress crowds in his idealized version of Berlin called Germania
Team Obama has outdone themselves on symbolism with this choice. They’ve managed to make their hosts uncomfortable for a second time with their choice of rallying point, and perhaps more so this time. If one wanted to talk peace, what worse location could one choose than Adolf Hitler’s favorite monument to militaristic domination? One has to wonder how France, Denmark, and Austria will feel about Obama rallying German masses under the Siegessäule.
I can’t stop laughing at this. Obama has 300 foreign policy advisors — 300! And not one of them said, “Hey, uh… guys? This was a personal fave of Hitler, so maybe we should… um… reconsider?”
The more basic question is why Obama feels the need to conduct a campaign event among Germans. Meeting with foreign leaders makes sense for a man with no foreign policy experience whatsoever, but that doesn’t require massive rallies among people who aren’t voting in this election.
Why not? He’s had plenty of massive rallies among college kids, who swear up and down that they rilly rilly rilly are gonna vote for change this time, but when it comes down to it, they’ll just be so busy, with all the hangovers, studying, and skipping class.
Sweet, sweet gunpowder.
Yesterday was a good day for people who want to own guns for self-defense but have been oppressed by their over-stepping local governments. I heard about the Heller decision just as I was leaving for work in the morning, and I smiled gleefully all the way to work.
I’ve gotta tell you, I was a little worried after the Supreme Court decided this week not to allow child molesters to be
thrown into the incinerator given the death penalty, since child molestation doesn’t involve intent to kill (unless, you know, the evil pig dog takes it half a hair farther and does, in fact, kill). Apparently, intent to kill a child’s spirit doesn’t count. That travesty notwithstanding, I started skipping around when I heard that Scalia wrote the opinion on the gun case. That meant we had won.
The good (if somewhat puppy-blending) professor brings up a great point about the decision:
But winning in the Supreme Court is just the beginning of the story. Even the biggest civil-rights victories have taken years to percolate through the lower courts, often in the face of foot-dragging or outright resistance from lower-court judges, states and municipalities.
Brown v. Board of Education declared racial segregation unconstitutional in 1954, but it took a decade or more of slogging to make its promise bear fruit – and even then Congress had to give things a boost by passing the 1964 and 1965 Civil Rights Acts.
By contrast, in the 1990s the Supreme Court decided a series of cases narrowing Congress’ powers to regulate all sorts of things under the rubric of “interstate commerce.” But there were no hordes of public-interest lawyers to pick up on those decisions and bring new cases in the lower courts.
Glenn goes on to point out that the lack of new cases allowed the lower courts to ignore the Supreme Court’s rulings in the ’90s and that law-abiding gun owners will need to bring carefully litigated lawsuits into the lower courts if we’re not going to hose this one up. I’m thinking it’s time to join and donate to the NRA and get Frank signed up again (he wasn’t not signed up on purpose, just because I kept forgetting to renew him).
Anyway, yay guns and freedom!
Be fearful. I guess Princess Obama wasn’t prepared to sustain losses in debates, and since he was faced with actual questions instead of fluffy pillows, satin sheets, and appeasement last week, he’s decided the best strategy for winning the election is to turn tail and run away. I’d hate to see the scurrying if he were to actually break a nail.
Even worse, after last Wednesday, it looks like a retreat. Obama got a bloody nose, and suddenly he doesn’t want to appear on national TV, even up against a cupcake like Katie Couric. The strategy may be sound, but only if one has no confidence in Obama’s ability to stand up to tough questioning. In fact, his withdrawal from the debate appears to be an admission of exactly that.
No surprises there. It’s basically the same as his war strategy. When things don’t go our way for a while, let’s give up and leave. I would say that Obama’s political strategy actually leaves us better off (opposite of what his war strategy would do, obviously), but unfortunately, the people voting for Hopey McChangerson just want sunshine-and-rainbows speeches. They don’t care about things like issues, character, patriotism, and balls.
I’m going to go ahead and declare that Barack Obama is even more entertaining a candidate than John Kerry was. If he’ll pick John Edwards or the Goracle as his running mate, I won’t even need the return of Pushing Daisies and Chuck in the fall. I’ll top a giant bowl of popcorn with some Louisiana hot sauce (seriously, you dudes should try it), put my feet up, and relish in Obama’s everlasting cluelessness.
Yesterday Barack decided to try to ad lib, something he’s failed miserably at time after time during this hilarious primary battle. He went with the Official Leftist Talking Points Memo earlier in the day:
“We cannot afford a third George Bush term and that’s what John McCain is offering â€” a third Bush term,” Obama said, repeating a line he’s said at virtually every campaign stop since McCain wrapped up the GOP nomination last month.
but then turned around and said that this Bush-of-a-different-name would be better than… Bush?
“You have a real choice in this election. Either Democrat would be better than John McCain,” Obama said to cheers from a rowdy crowd in central Pennsylvania. Then he said: “And all three of us would be better than George Bush.”
But I thought John S. McCain = George W. Bush. Some dunderheads should just stick to their canned speeches and never pretend to be real people.
That’s what Barack Obama wants you to think. The ludicrousness of his now oft-repeated theory that people only turn to religion when the government fails them completely floors me; the second that ridiculous comment got to the media, he should have told America, “I was smoking crack when I said it, so I’m sorry. I’ll try to keep the crack smoking to a minimum on the campaign trail in the future.” That would have gone over a lot better than letting on that he’s too snobby to understand why people of faith would be offended by his remarks. I know I shouldn’t be surprised since his church’s official slogan is something like “Kill Whitey,” but I still am. He probably does believe that religion is only for the bitter. We know his pastor is bitter and delusional, so I draw the conclusion that Obama is too.
This statement that God is a backup plan after the government fails tells me all I need to know about Obama: Government is his god; God is just there as a fall-back. This is why it’s so important to him and people like him that we have a huge government. He doesn’t believe God will take care of his needs and thinks that the U.S. government is more powerful than God — pretty sad for someone who claims to be a Christian. Why does he even profess faith in God and Christ if he has none? Oh yeah, I forgot. Sweet, sweet Chicago votes.
We went to Bible study last night (we’re bitter, so we needed us some religion), and on the way home, I was thinking about how in tune I am with our preacher. Everything he’s ever said in a sermon or a class (we’re in his Ezekiel class), I’ve agreed with; actually, I take that back. He made a vague comment one time, and I didn’t agree with what I read between the lines. Not surprising that I agree with him on pretty much everything, I know, but I’ve had several preachers over the years, and I’ve disagreed with them on a number of things — I don’t think any preacher is infallible, because last I checked, they’re all human. We’ve also talked politics with the preacher several times (he doesn’t get political in his sermons unless you count that Christian beliefs form a lot of our political beliefs). One day we sat with him at lunch, and we talked politics much of the time. You know what he believes in? Small government, just like me. Basic freedoms and inalienable rights come from God, not the government. That the government needs to get out of the daily lives of Americans and let us live. That the government’s main job is security and defense and that we need to rely on our God-given talents and work ethic to fulfill our needs, not the government’s policies and forced redistribution of wealth and mandatory mediocrity.
But what does he know? He clings to religion, so he’s obviously given up hope in government. What do Frank and I know? We cling to religion and guns. We’re just a couple of bitter typical white people.
The phone rang this afternoon. The caller ID said “Political Call.” Frank and I both saw the caller ID at the same time. We had previously agreed that should the politicals call again (they called a couple of days ago, and we didn’t get to the phone in time), I would get to answer it. I’ll tell them all exactly what I think about them, and see, I was rilly rilly rilly hoping it was The Republican Party. I have words for them. Frank’s a very nice person, so he holds back a little, tries to act like an adult and all that. Anyway, I yelled, “Ooh! Ooh! Let me get it!”
POLITICAL CALL: Hello. This is Jack Kemp. Blah blah blah… [Sounded like a recording, and from McCain of all peeps. Nuh-uh.]
SARAHK: Is this really Jack Kemp?
POLITICAL CALL: … blah blah blah blah…
FRANK J. [from the other room, cracking up]: “Is this really Jack Kemp?” Did you really ask that?
SARAHK: Well, I didn’t want to be rude and hang up on him if he wasn’t a recording. But he was a recording, I assume for McCain, so no thanks.
I was disappointed. I wanted to tear into some elephant hide.
When I got downstairs, the Fox election coverage was already on, so I just kept my mouth shut and hoped for the best. However, after Fox has declared Nevada for Mitt Romney, here are the standings with <1% of the vote in (this flips above the ticker at the bottom of the screen):
And then when they did that big screen a few minutes ago (when the standings were Romney, McCain, Paul, Thompson, Huckabee, et al), guess which three candidates they showed? Romney (1st place), McCain (2nd place at the time), Huckabee (5th place).
We report what we want you to see. You decide based on what we want you to know.
Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure they have an excuse, such as “these are the top three per the polls in the nation, so they’re the only ones you really want to hear about.” Even if that is their excuse, haven’t the polls been wrong in almost every race this year? Fair and balanced has become such a sham.
Forget this. I’m going shopping.
UPDATE: I’m not shopping yet; I’m finishing my cherry soda. Meanwhile, I emailed Fox to ask why they were misleading people with their big screen flashes. After I emailed them, they started reporting Ron Paul (I did make it clear in my email that I’m no Ron Paul fan) and even Fred Thompson! I’m not saying I had anything to do with that, but you’re welcome, America.
That little mini-rant I kept talking about the other day was about my inability to watch Fox News anymore. I never finished the little rant, and then I broke my personal boycott of FNC when they had the South Carolina debate, because hey, I wanted all the commentary I could get afterward, and I just didn’t have the guts to go stare at Wolf Blitzer’s smug face. Not that it matters any more, but here’s what it all boiled down to (for that half day that I refused to watch Fox).
I wrote most of this the day before the South Carolina debate, or the day of, or something like that.
That whole “we report, you decide” bit isn’t exactly how they’re operating these days, even if I put my Fred Thompson bias aside and look at their reporting objectively. After the election results came in from New Hampshire, I just couldn’t stomach them anymore, and I even had a hard time stomaching the exclusionary New Hampshire debate that they ran. We’ll get to that in a minute. Anyway, I actually switched to CNN the night of the NH election results and was pleased to find that they were covering *all* of the election results rather than only the top two candidates in each race (novel concept). Note: I will probably watch CNN when the Michigan results start to come in tonight and every night that there are election results to see. Of course, as the number of candidates whittles down, it won’t be as important, but for now, if I want the *whole* story on primary or caucus nights, I’ll have to switch to another channel for results. I’m sure I will find any worthwhile-ish Fox clips (which I expect will be few) floating around the interwebs the same night or next day anyway.
First, regarding Iowa. No secret that Thompson is my candidate and will be until he’s either elected or out of the race or found to be a fraud of Huckabee magnitude. In Iowa, Fred came in with 13% of the corn-sucking vote, barely edging out McCain, but edging him out nonetheless. They get the same number of delegates, yes. Now, if McCain had placed third, this was going to be considered a gigantic success — the FNC pundits all said so in the week leading up to the public-voting caucuses (the stupidest way to hold elections, BTW), so it must be true! But Fred finished third, and it went something like this: “Huckabee! Wow, look how he won! And Romney! In second! No one expected that, but hey, second isn’t bad, and he’ll surely take a lot of early states! Wow! And look, McCain with 13% of the vote!” Fred who? Or they would say something like, “Huckabee with a huge win over second-place Mitt Romney! And then there’s Fred Thompson in third, and WOW! John McCain finished barely behind that third-place guy, whoever he is! McCain almost in third!” And Fred Thompson isn’t the only person who was brushed aside. Believe me, I am NO Ron Paul fan and would never ever vote for him (he’s a freaking nutburger on foreign policy, which is the second most important issue to me, right after illegal immigration), but he got 10% of the vote in Iowa, and Fox completely ignored it. They had one mention of him in about three hours of coverage that we watched that night. And that was just a screen flash of places four through six. They did make sure to point out that Giuliani only received 4% of the vote, but they also made sure to tell you that Giuliani isn’t paying much attention to the early states and is counting on Florida and Super Mega Amazing Ultra Tuesday, so it’s no biggie that he didn’t fare well. Remember that, it’ll be important in a minute. In case you want to know and have only Fox News to tell you how to vote, here are the full returns for the Republicans in Iowa:
Huckabee (seriously) 34%
Oh, another thing about Iowa. Chris Wallace, of all people, was talking the other day about John McCain’s chances. This was before the South Carolina debate. Anyway, I was shocked when Wallace was talking about McCain, “who came in third in Iowa.” No he didn’t! He came in a very close fourth and receives the same number of delegate votes, but Fred had a few hundred votes more than McCain. I don’t know how after weeks of everyone knowing that Thompson got third, Wallace just decided he would revise the results like that.
Then there is Wyoming, which has more delegates than New Hampshire but was completely ignored because of this farcical notion the old media has instilled in most Americans that the people of Iowa and New Hampshire are the most politically educated and therefore the most important in the whole entire election process (hahahahaha — how many of them were still undecided when they woke up on election day? Voting by feeling, anyone?). I heard in a solitary mention on FNC, during a ten-second break from their reporting on the New Hampshire campaigning, that oh, by the way, Mitt Romney won Wyoming. That’s it. Nothing about the fact that even if he lost New Hampshire, he would still be out ahead of McCain as far as delegate count. And I would be
remiss Fox if I didn’t bother to tell you that Fred Thompson also received 25% of the Republican vote in Wyoming and that Duncan Hunter received 8% of the vote. But you know, no big whoop, because Wyoming isn’t an elite coastal state or a corn-subsidy-loving state. So it doesn’t count (those silly conservatives). The Wyoming returns, since FNC didn’t report them:
And then there was New Hampshire, which may be an indicator of how wishy-washies are going to vote but does nothing more than tell other wishy-washies in future voting states who the wishy-washies in that state think should be president. Yeah, it’s important because of all the media hype that makes it so, but good grief, NH only has twelve delegates! So everyone knew for weeks that Fred was spending zero time in New Hampshire. It was common knowledge to anyone willing to pay actual attention to politics. If there hadn’t been a debate there, I’m sure he wouldn’t have shown up at all. Because New Hampshire is a liberal state, and its independents tend to not vote for actual conservatives, and it was widely expected that they would swing to the Democrats anyway. Fred had no chance there, and he didn’t have the resources of Romney and Paul, so no point wasting money. It made sense to everyone. So the results came in, and this time, since Fred had none of the vote in New Hampshire, Fox made sure to point it out. “McCain wins New Hampshire! What does this say about conservatives? [Nothing.] Romney got second! He’s in real trouble now! Look at this, Fred Thompson with only 1% of the vote! When will he get out of the race?!” ARGH. Everyone who has paid attention to Thompson’s campaign knows he’s working hard on South Carolina and other southern states.
Oh, and let me just take a little second to disagree with Fox’s decision to not allow Ron Paul to participate in the New Hampshire debate. I mean, I kind of did a little cheer when I saw that he wasn’t going to be included, because his supporters drive me absolutely *nuts* spamming all the (admittedly always ridiculously inaccurate) online polls and those stupid text message polls that Fox does and cheering at the most ridiculous things he says (let’s trade with Cuba!). Ronulans notwithstanding, he had received 10% of the vote in Iowa, which is force-fed to us as super-important, mind you, yet they left Giuliani (at 4%) in and shut out Ron Paul. I think it was a bad decision, and they showed that they’re no different from the rest of the old media. We report (part of the story), you decide (between the candidates we tell you are okay). New Hampshire results:
I do have to give credit to Fox for allowing Ron Paul to participate in the South Carolina debate. It was the right thing to do. However, Frank Luntz appealed to the Ronulans yesterday with basically the thoughts of everyone who isn’t one (I wish I could find the video), and if they do care about their candidate, they should consider following his advice for future debates and just when they’re out in the general population. I’m not pleased that Fox keeps leaving out Duncan Hunter, because he is still running. On the other hand, I’m happy to have debates with fewer candidates. Fred is already having to interrupt and push his way in for anyone to give him a question.
Also, until the South Carolina debate, Fox basically ignored Fred when they talked about the Republican candidates. They would mention Giuliani, McCain, Romney, Huckabee, Paul… no Thompson.
Of course, now it’s just me ranting, no personal boycott anymore. I will tune to CNN for results tonight, because as boring as their commentators are, and as much as I would prefer Brit Hume and Chris Wallace over the stale suits at CNN, they actually show *all* of the results every few minutes, not just the top two finishers. Or I can utilize my PIP and watch results *and* get commentary.
And then tomorrow, I’m sure Fox will be back to saying that Fred’s surge in the South Carolina polls must have been a fluke, because after all, look how well Mike Huckabee (who loves Jesus, in case you hadn’t heard) did in Michigan! They’ll fail to mention that Fred has been parked in South Carolina for almost two weeks. If you hear someone yelling at the TV tomorrow, that’ll be me.
Ok, this is long and rambly, and I don’t feel like proofreading. I’m just going to stop now.
UPDATE: Tonight’s problem solved! I’ll be watching Idol (and liveblogging it at SRM!) and checking Michigan results on the interwebz, yo.
Frank was on a blogger conference call with Fred Thompson a couple of hours ago. It was so cool, because I got to crash it. Not so much crash as listen in, because Frank had it on speaker. Fred Thompson’s voice was in our living room. And word is he has a major conservative endorsement coming tomorrow. I hope it’s Rush or the NRA.
So was that one of the most ridiculous debates ever? And why are all those Frank Luntz people saying that Romney won? Yes, I do think my candidate Fred Thompson won, but seriously. I didn’t even have Romney in the top two. Am I just completely out of touch? Because Romney came across as all hair no substance. And what’s the deal with the focus group going on and on about how he “looked presidential”? Who gives a rat’s pinkytoe? And wow. Des Moines Register? Good job making sure that super-important “Republican” Alan Keyes was included. I’m sure his supporter was happy to see him.
That moderator! She looked asleep half the time, and the rest of the time she tried to keep herself awake by staying away from any important issues. In fact, I can’t remember anything she asked at this point. Was there even a debate today?
Fred Thompson to Mitt Romney: “Mitt, I didn’t know there was any room to the left of Ted Kennedy. Heck, I didn’t know there was any room to the *right* of Ted Kennedy.” Badum-ching!
Not by choice, I’m watching the Republican debate. Fred Thompson answered his first question fine, he said we need to keep taxes low and get spending under control. The second question, for me had me yelling juuuuuuuust a teensy bit. Something along the lines of, “20% of new mortgages in Michigan foreclosed last year. Is it the government’s job to fix this, or is it the job of private enterprise?”
I’m sorry, I don’t see Option C, so I’ll just tell you, Miss Crazy Lady. It’s the job of the people taking out the mortgages to not take out mortgages that are more than they can handle. And I mean people need to really think about it before they sign those papers. Is this well-within our budget? Have we even done a budget? Can we afford the property taxes and insurance? Can we also afford to put aside just-in-case savings each month so that if something happens, we have a way to pay the mortgage for up to a year? If you don’t have a backup plan for paying your mortgage, don’t take it!
Ooh, how fun! Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani are sniping at each other! And now it’s turned into the GiuliRomni show. When does Fred talk again?
HEY! NO SLAMMING YOUR GOLF CLUB INTO THE FAIRWAY JUST BECAUSE YOU MADE A BAD SHOT! It’s more exciting to watch the golfers out the window than to watch this debate. Frank just yawned and said, “Man… I’m sleeeeepy.” I said, “Well, you’re watching a debate.” “A debate about economics.” Well, there’s your problem.
Blast from the past! My number one VP candidate, Mike Huckabee, just said something like, “We’ll get our britches beat!” I wish people still talked like that, and I’m not even joking.
Okay. We stuck with it after the first commercial break, but we are falling asleep over here.
And in case you’re wondering. Ron Paul is still koo-koo. “Our overseas empire.” Haha. How does that guy even button his shirts and zip up his pants?
Oi. We’re outta here.
So the girl from High School Musical, Vanessa Hudgins or somesuch, was on the Tyra Banks show (goodness, no, I didn’t see it, they were talking about it on “The Soup”). Tyra asked her about the girls who have been through so many drug rehabs that they think Promises is that nice little timeshare they have in Malibu. And of course, she said she thinks it’s stupid for them to get in trouble like that all the time, but then again, she’s “a private person.”
Of course, this is during the same week in which her own naked photos were the number one story in the news (forget that a nutjob who likes to say “Death to America” for fun is going to be allowed to come here — sounds awful familiar, I wonder if he’ll call our president “Satan” — and not only that, is going to be treated like a diplomat). Did I digress? Anyway, I thought it was highly amusing that miss “private person” is splayed about the internet.
Yes, yes, I know I have a speck or two in my own eye. But I’ve never been photographed nude.
See, usually they get Frank, who is much more diplomatic about it. “No, we don’t have the funds right now…. I’m sorry, we don’t have the funds right now… I said no, thank you.” Click.
But today they got me, because Frank had just walked out the door with Rowdi.
RP LADY: Hi, Mrs. J? Hi, this is such-n-such from the Republican [Party, National Committee, whatever she said]–
SARAHK: No. We’re not giving any money to the Republicans until they do something about the border. [I didn't even go into overspending, big government, the fact that the Republican party is hardly conservative these days, all that.]
RP LADY: I understand, ma’am, and I am hearing that a lot [oh really?], people are concerned about the border, and ma’am [calling me ma'am does not help you], we are blah blah blah blah blah blah. But we certainly don’t want the Democrats to take over the White House in 2008.
SARAHK: Oh, we’ll give to Fred Thompson, but we will not give to the Republican Party.
RP LADY: I hear what you’re saying, and I do appreciate that you support an individual candidate, but of course you know that we do support the nominee… Of course that hasn’t happened yet.
RP LADY: But here it is, more than halfway through the year, and the Democrats are out-funding and out-spending us…
SARAHK: Mmmhmm. You’re being outfunded because you’re not listening to your base.
RP LADY: And our goal is $75. Can we count on your support? [Have ya been listening to me?]
SARAHK: No. You cannot count on our support.
RP LADY: I understand, $75 is a lot of money, but we really really do need the support of good people like you, and I am glad you are supporting an individual candidate, and can we count on you for a more modest $50?
SARAHK: No. The Republican party will get no money from us until you start listening to us. Ok, thank you. Goodbye. [I have already said no a sufficient amount of times that I will hang up on her if she keeps talking.]
RP LADY: I understand that, and–
Click. I think they’re having a hard time. Poor deaf Republicans.
And that’s your problem.
We had Glenn Beck on last night while I was packing and cooking dinner. I don’t remember what they were talking about — I think it started with the thing about Senator Craig, and Glenn was talking about how the Republicans and the Democrats are all corrupt (I’m pretty sure he meant the criminal aspect, pleading guilty, hiding it, all that) and started moving on to talking about how the politicians are so out of touch with America and blah blah blah. So of course, he brought on a Republican strategist chick and some guy (I guess he was a Democrat strategist) so they could talk about the problem. Um, they’re part of the problem, Glenn! They’re there to say, “Here’s how we get elected.” Not, “Let’s figure out how to do what’s best for the country, and if we get elected, great. If not, then let’s hope the other guy’s plan works.” I know, perfect world.
So these strategists were on there just to talk about the politicians being out of touch with America, which made them start sniping at each other. Each was struggling to stick to their talking points while trying to rebut the other one. Neither (especially Republican chick) was able to make the choice: talking points or rebuttal. So it was a very H&C-esque yelling-over-each-other thing, and Glenn was getting frustrated because he wanted them to get away from stupid talking points and actually be people instead of robots. Miss Republican was stammering a lot. “And… uhhhh… uhhhh… the Democrats… uhhh… they’re… uhhhh… what about all of their crimes? Uhhhh… Our party has values…. uhhh…” And then the stupid Democrat strategist was all, “I am amazed that the party that claims to be the party of family values is the one that ends up with all these scandals.” At which time I was like, “Uhhhhhh…. That’s because Republicans don’t put up with all the crap that Democrats do because they’re trying to not tick off the voters. They do other stupid stuff that makes us angry, like not listening to us, but we don’t particularly care for our politicians to be criminals. Democrats are after power only, and if that means keeping a drunken murderer and other criminals in Congress, they’ll look over anything — unless the politician also supports the war effort — then they try to skewer him.”
And then Miss Republican said something about, “We lost in 2006 because of [some stupid reason I don't remember]. We got the message and are listening to the American people…” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Right. Glenn said something like, “The Republicans lost in 2006 because they stopped listening to the voters and stopped supporting conservative values and small government.”
And Republican chick ended with her dumbest statement yet. “Our exit polls did tell us that…”
Oh good! Your exit polls told you that! Listen, missy, if you need exit polls to tell you that some conservatives punished Republicans for not being conservative, there’s your problem. Everyone was screaming for months about big government, massive spending, border security, etc., and you needed an exit poll to tell you why the election went the way it did?
Maybe you should come down out of your princess tower and live among the peons for a while.
Who needs wheat when you can have tapioca and rice flour bagels? They taste at least as good, and I can eat them! Frank had his with fantastic-looking cream cheese, and I just dashed on Louisiana hot sauce since I can’t have cheese for now. Never have I missed cheese so much (the hot sauce was fine, but that creamy goodness would have been even better).
In other news, Fred Thompson met the Hate-Filled Lefty.
I guess weâ€™re calling him Silky these days, but Iâ€™m still a little partial to Fluffy. Whatever we call him, I really hope that the most styled (not stylish, mind you, just styled) of the personal injury lawyers ends up being the Democrat partyâ€™s presidential nominee. Do yâ€™all remember the fun we had with the fake Fluffy stories back in the 2004 election? I could have so much fun with another Edwards nomination â€“ Iâ€™m much funnier than I was three years ago, but yâ€™all already know this. ;-)
In his latest bout of self-affirmation and delusion (which, of course, involves a fund-raising twist), John Edwards has declared that Karl Rove fears him. As Frank put it, kittens donâ€™t fear him. Rove may have used the Democrat baseâ€™s you-canâ€™t-say- that-about-one-of-us mentality against the base to ensure that who he thought was the most easily defeatable candidate was nominated, but Mr. Personal Injury himself is not remotely capable of inducing fear. Seriously, all I can do is laugh when I see him or hear him speak â€“ and I absolutely howl when I hear his wife defending him against his attackers, as it makes him an even bigger girl.
My favorite tool in this personal injury lawyerâ€™s arsenal (yes, letâ€™s not forget how he drove up healthcare costs making those millions) is his ability to delude himself so thoroughly and use every slight against him as a fundraising opportunity. Because the letters he sends out are just so much fun. And because his base falls for it every time. â€œI got a papercut! Send me money!â€ â€œThe Republicans are ignoring me! Send me money!â€ â€œI had to see poor people, and one of them touched my hair! Send me money!â€
Can you imagine him head-to-head with Fred Thompson? “He looked at me, and it hurt! Send me money!”
I linked to this yesterday, but I just don’t want you to miss it. It’s Hillary’s latest campaign video.
My husband apparently missed that class in school. I mean, the man scored 1570 on his SATs, and he has absolutely no clue.
FRANK J. [imitating Barack Obama in a boyish hick voice]: I’m Barack Obama!
SARAHK: I think I can do a better Barack Obama than you. [I went off on a long imitation, just saying stupid things, interspersed with "I'm Barack Obama. I gave a speech once!"]
FRANK J. [in an even bigger hick accent]: I’um Buhrock Ohhbawma. We should take away nuuuclear weuhpons from Nawrth Kuhreeea and invade Antar-tica [he left out the "c"].
SARAHK: You’re making him southern. He’s from Chicago! [Actually, he grew up in Hawaii, but he's been in Chicago for a while now.]
FRANK J.: Nah, he’s from Tennessee.
SARAHK: No, that’s Harold Ford Jr. You’re getting your black politicians mixed up.
FRANK J.: Where’s he from then?
FRANK J.: That’s south, right?
SARAHK [laughing]: No! It’s up by the Great Lakes. Chicago’s on Lake Michigan.
FRANK J.: I hate geography.
NASA’s weather numbers were adjusted downward when reverse-engineering the numbers pointed out a major flaw in the calculations: A Y2K error! It turns out Y2K caused huge damages (in the form of private jets and ugly cars) after all. 1934 is now the hottest year on record (not 1998), and 2001 dropped from number 8 to out of the top ten.
I wonder how ticked off the celebrities, politicians, and other fierce global warming believers who took out payday loans or spent lots of money to pay for their global-warming-combating private jets and Priuses are gonna take the news. (Celebrities and politicians will say that they were hoodwinked by NASA, which is a government agency, and therefore the change in numbers is all Bush’s fault, because he runs the government. And then they’ll say it’s still real.)
John Hawkins has posted his latest Rightosphere temperature check. I participated, because I’m awesome. :)
So, um, Joe Biden said a gun owner was mentally unstable, and Barack Obama said he would meet with the leaders of all the terrorist countries who openly hate us. You know, be their propaganda puppet. And in the Fox News debate reaction thingy last night, everyone came away liking Barack Obama. Their reason? Because he has personality and charisma. Yep. Personality and charisma are definitely the only qualities we should look for in a president. Someone who sounds cool when he talks.
has a new ad out… Oh dear. I fear we may see it allll the time now.
In defense of our nation’s youth (24), I didn’t know anything about politics until I was getting divorced at 27. I just knew that R was better than D in most cases. Sizzle only knows what I tell her about politics. And, as you will read, what she reads in magazines. Bless her heart.
SIZZLE: I’d say I’m not a liberal, and I’m also not, you know, a…
SARAHK: I think she means conservative.
SIZZLE: I’m probably like in the middle kinda or something.
SARAHK: No she’s not, she doesn’t know enough about politics to even be in the middle. Knowing what I know about you, you would probably fall libertarianish.
SARAHK: Oh yeah. You don’t know what that means.
SIZZLE: Yes I do!
SARAHK: I didn’t say that you try to understand but just can’t comprehend something so complex, I said that you just don’t know what that means.
SIZZLE: Well, it’s because I just don’t really…
SARAHK: I know, you don’t care.
SIZZLE: Oh. Okay.
SARAHK: You have to be for a strong national defense, or you can’t be my sister.
SIZZLE: I’m for a strong national defense, fine. Patronizing tone!
SARAHK: Ok, so you’re gonna vote for Fred Thompson then. [Oh, and before you Giuliani peeps start up with me, lemme just say I don't know how you can be for a strong national defense and a weak self-defense. I just don't. And if you buy all his politicking about "Well gun grabbing was good for New York, but it wouldn't be good for America, so of course I wouldn't take away America's guns," please line up, I will sell you some lovely pyrite-laden genie bottles at a very inexpensive price.]
SARAHK: [Looking at Frank to see if he heard that. I told her she was on speakerphone. I always inform about speakerphone.]
SIZZLE: [Laughing.] Just kidding. But you know what? Do you know why I know who Fred Thompson is? They had an article about him in Rolling Stone–
SARAHK: Rolling STONE? I can’t even imagine what they had to say.
SIZZLE: Just that he was running for president. But don’t worry, I don’t even vote.
SARAHK: Ok, I can’t even talk to you anymore. Ever again.
SIZZLE: A’ight. Bye.
SIZZLE: Fine, I’ll vote, whatever.
Moving on from politics.
SARAHK: Oh, so Rachel Lucas was talking about bad fashion trends and doughy girls who wear their shirts so tight over their fat rolls that you can pinch the dough right through the shirt, right? [And um, Rachel, maybe they got fat from their gluten challenges, and none of their t-shirts fit anymore because they don't want to buy new shirts because the ones they have will fit again after the gluten challenges are over!]
SIZZLE: Uh huh.
SARAHK: And she was also talking about those tattoos like that one you have.
SIZZLE: Uh huh.
SARAHK: And she called them something. And I decided I can’t wait to use it on you. Are you ready?
SIZZLE: What? Tramp stamps?
SIZZLE: Yeah, everyone at work gives me a hard time about it. Jessi, your tramp stamp is showing, blah blah blah.
SARAHK: You let people SEE it?
SIZZLE: Not on purpose!
When we get to Texas, she’s grounded. Forever.
Ok, so while we’re on the subject of cussin’… If ever there is an appropriate time for it (and no, I think there’s not, but play along!), it is when you are sitting on your lovely new couch/sofa, suffering from a massive migraine due to yesterday’s glutenous, gluttonous buffet (more on that in a minute, y’all), waiting for the Excedrin Migraine to kick in, and this freaky ant/wasp/termite hybrid decides to plant itself next to you on your Auto Repair for Dummies book (no commentary, please, Pinky needs a new starter) and pretend it’s ok for it to be there! To me, this wretched insect looks like a giant-winged flying ant, except with a longer, darker, more segmented body and transparentish wings like a termite. FREAKSHOW! So of course, I immediately jump off the couch and start flailing my arms and moving my legs in marching-band-high-step fashion (overdrive version) just in case I missed the whole army of them that are marching across my body (because I’m looking at the one on the Dummies book, because yo, you never take your eye off the enemy), yelling, “Eeee! Eeeee! Yaaaaa!” and so forth. You get it, I’m a girl. Frank is used to this type of behavior and has learned to follow my eyes toward the problem. And I’m an instructions-barker, so I was coaching. “Don’t smear him on the new couch!” “What? He has a stinger? Don’t get stung! But smush him! Don’t just let him go like you let the one go from the other night. It’s probably the same one!” And Frank and Rowdi had just come in from outside, so I wonder if the freakshow hybrid came in on Rowdi. She’s been acting all sick this evening, so it’s possible she got stung.
Or it’s possible she’s Rowdi.
Back to that buffet from yesterday. I am all about the food. Ok, so we went to Whistle Junction down in Palm Bay. It’s apparently changed hands a number of times, and the food is finally yummy (we can’t speak to the food before it was WJ, we’d never been). Their fried green tomatoes made me just want more fried green tomatoes, forget the dessert. Frank actually said to me at one point, “Is that a whole plate just of vegetables?” “Yep. Is that a problem?” “I don’t get the point of an entire plate of vegetables.” “I don’t get the point of YOU!” HaHA! Don’t worry, I did get around to dessert. I figured it’s most likely my last time eating out without having to ask the waiter or chef what’s in everything I’m eating (and the last time I can eat any restaurant dessert other than creme brulee, sorbet, or flan until more restaurants catch on to this whole gluten-free thing, or until we get to Austin, whichever comes first). It was funny, dessert was a total girl moment. We were there with a group from church, and Mary asked three different women if they were going for dessert. They all said no. I was the only one she didn’t ask, don’t know why, I was only sitting directly across from her. Maybe it’s because Mary is the one that previously told me, “You’ve been hanging out with us too much. You’re getting that black body,” so perhaps she just figures I don’t need dessert. Anyway, I’m not shy. I said, “Oh, you don’t wanna be the only woman going to the dessert line? I’ll go with you, I’m not proud. I like dessert. Bring it on.” Or something long and rambly like that. We went, and eek. As we studied the desserts, I said, “I would normally have banana pudding, but the banana pudding looks funky.” She agreed, and I had to settle for cheesecake. I didn’t notice the bread pudding until I was loading the cheesecake up with fudge and cherries. Oh well, it looked dry. Oh yeah, Mary also said at one point, “Frank just sits there so quiet, and then Sarah… you just talk…” “Oh, I know, I’m a talker. It’s why he never says anything, he figures what’s the point? I won’t hear him, I’ll be in my own little world talking anyway.” The truths I speak over food.
Whoa, I just got an email from wRitErsbLock, and one of my comments at her place made her laugh out loud. As someone who has seen her in person many times, I will tell you honestly that she seldom laughs out loud at anything. This must make me stinking funny. Hopefully more funny than stinking. What’s even funnier? I just wrote “hopefully more stinking than funny” and totally didn’t mean that.
Way cool. If Frank searches google images for “nuke,” the bottom picture on this page is one of the top returns. It’s because The Sizzle and I are awesome.
Another appropriate time for cussin’ is any time the name Johnny Sutton comes up. He makes me want to throw darts at his face. But then my TV would be all broke. And look at me, in solidarity with Rachel Lucas, I didn’t cuss. Yay me!
Wow. We’re just NOW watching January’s Dog the Bounty Hunter season finale, or I don’t know, I think they were reruns when we were recording them. His daughter died the day before his wedding day, how awful is that? Not to mention that his extradition-to-Mexico status is still uncertain because of our President’s secret evil pact with the president of the brown people (whom I apparently hate, according to President Bush). Oh my goodness, wasn’t that little mullet-toe-headed ring-bearer of theirs the cutest thing? I know, I should have asked y’all this like two years ago. Whatever. It’s how I what? Say it with me. Roll.
Today the migraine is so bad that I had those scary flashes in my vision where I had teeny black holes in the vision surrounded by lightning rings. So descriptive you can picture it, I know. Here’s a better description: I wasn’t even hungry for dinner. Yes, that bad! I took the EM a few hours ago, and it made most of my head stop hurting, but the insides of my eyes never stopped. Oh well. I guess now it’s bedtime. Maybe sex will help. It does occasionally get rid of the migraines.