GIMLI: certainty of death. small chance of success. what are we waiting for?

In You, O LORD, I put my trust;
Let me never be ashamed;
Deliver me in Your righteousness.
Bow down Your ear to me,
Deliver me speedily;
Be my rock of refuge,
A fortress of defense to save me.
For You are my rock and my fortress;
Therefore, for Your name’s sake,
Lead me and guide me.
Pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me,
For You are my strength.
Into Your hand I commit my spirit;
You have redeemed me, O LORD God of truth.
I have hated those who regard useless idols;
But I trust in the LORD.
I will be glad and rejoice in Your mercy,
For You have considered my trouble;
You have known my soul in adversities,
And have not shut me up into the hand of the enemy;
You have set my feet in a wide place.
Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am in trouble;
My eye wastes away with grief,
Yes, my soul and my body!
For my life is spent with grief,
And my years with sighing;
My strength fails because of my iniquity,
And my bones waste away.
I am a reproach among all my enemies,
But especially among my neighbors,
And am repulsive to my acquaintances;
Those who see me outside flee from me.
I am forgotten like a dead man, out of mind;
I am like a broken vessel.
For I hear the slander of many;
Fear is on every side;
While they take counsel together against me,
They scheme to take away my life.
But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
My times are in Your hand;
Deliver me from the hand of my enemies,
And from those who persecute me.

today i’m going to the dr. to see if my foot is broken. then i’m going to come home and scream in pain some more. tomorrow i’ll get a nasty “disturbing the peace” note from the apartment office. then i’ll scream in pain some more.

i can’t even hop up and down in honor of leap day. i’m such a wuss.

WILL: you ever have a dream where you’re, uh, back at school? and they won’t let you graduate because you failed a test? that’s — i had that last night.
VAUGHN: well, we don’t screen for general knowledge. it’s strictly a psych profile.
WILL: so i can’t fail. but i can find out i’m a sociopath.

i’m very thankful for my neat-freak bikermommy today. she cleaned and reorganized my whole kitchen after i made her run a 10K with me. well, i mean, that’s not the ONLY reason i’m thankful for her. there’s that whole carrying me in her womb & going thru labor w/ me (though she says i just squiggled right out) thing. but what’s really important is that my dishes are clean (WOOHOOOOOOO!!), i can see my countertops and my stove is clean. thanks, bikermommy!!

Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came to him, saying, “You also were with Jesus of Galilee.” But he denied it before them all, saying, “I do not know what you are saying.”

And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, “This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth.” But again he denied with an oath, “I do not know the Man! ”

And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, “Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you.” Then he began to curse and swear, saying, “I do not know the Man! ”

Immediately a rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” So he went out and wept bitterly.

This passage is one of great comfort to me during those times when I act as if I myself don’t know Jesus. The times when I either forget or disregard the great sacrifice he made so that we could all receive salvation through the obedience of the Gospel. I’m so thankful that God forgives me when I repent and ask for his forgiveness.

B-RAD: traffic, traffic, lookin’ fo’ my chapstick, feelin’ kinda car sick, there’s a ford maverick…

VAUGHN: let me make one thing very clear, mr. hassan. the extent to which i am willing to service you … is when i offer you a soda.

um, is it just me, or does vaughn offer a lot of sodas to detainees?

today i am ready to blog again. it’s been a rough week filled with illness, psycho people being even more insane than normal, work stress, moronic accusations, even more moronic lies, defenses, apologies, forgiveness, catharsis, weeping, gnashing of teeth, comfort, hugs, sobbing out loud, massive dizziness due to loss of happy pills, drama, heartburn (for the first time in months), and now a possibly stress-fractured or broken foot. i keep thinking that i’ve hit the tri-fecta of bad occurrences. but then something worse happens and i think, well, is this the end of the tri-fecta? or is a new one starting?

anyway, i’m back. spread the word. because my hits are way down. so really, spread the word. please.

howdy, self. good ta see ya. nice to see that you finally washed your hair. which brings me to my first note. 1. we always feel better when we’re clean. don’t forget that.

2. self, you know how you like to put cokes in the freezer to get them cold really fast? yeah. well, when you remove said cokes from the freezer, let’s be careful not to drop them. the words spew, sticky and great huge mess come to mind.

3. self, i keep mentioning the clean apartment thing to you, and so far it hasn’t worked. you’re probably tired of hearing it too. may i just say that it is not necessary to wait until you are completely out of silverware (including knives) to do the dishes.

4. i know you like to laugh, self, but could ya reign it in a little? cackling too much, too loud and too often makes your sides hurt really bad and makes the neighbors complain. i know. i understand. i hear what you’re saying. i know it’s not your fault that they have no joy in their lives. but it’s also not nice of you to rub it in.

5. won more thing before eye go. homonyms our really funny. yes, eye here watt your sane. eye dew no that our and are our knot exact homonyms, butt inn thee grate state of texas, they really sound exactly thee same. and eye think your bean a little picky. and just sew wee our clear, eye yam thee won righting thee notes, knot chew. goat ache a shower and quit you’re wining.

good mornin’ too ewe. ghost ours.

“You have heard that it was said,
‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you,
do good to those who hate you,
and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
that you may be sons of your Father in heaven;
for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good,
and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?
Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others?
Do not even the tax collectors do so?
Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.”

HALADKI: i’m not scared of you.
WEISS: well, you should start being scared of me.

DORY: i shall call him “squishy”, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my squishy. here, squishy, squishy. here, little fella…

…i’d probably not have much time to blog. so i’ll stick with humbly giving out my correct and scarily-in-line-with-simon’s opinions to my enormous fanbase in this fabulous medium. to make it more like i’m-actually-a-judge-on-the-show-because-i-should-be, i’ll address all of the contestants as if i’m sitting in simon’s chair.

ryan seacrest, simon’s hair is great, leave him alone. i am one of those smart girls who agrees with camile valesco. simon is sexy. ooh!! happy times!! william hung will be coming back for the march 1st bad singers episode! i love it. btw, for a related story, read scott ott’s report on william hung’s next bangin’ moves.

elizabeth letendre — wow, great pipes, great job on the song, but the dancing and outfit not so good. you’re a dancer! show us!! but wow, you did a great job on the song, kudos, kudos. she’s a good sport and can take simon’s criticism well. IDOLS01

eric yoder - what a cutie. and a pilot! wow, you look kind of young to be flying people around, but i’m sure you’re good at it. blah blah blah. at first, i thought, oops, bad song choice. but paula was right, you picked it up later. I LOVE YOUR VOICE! SO MUCH! course, i love clay aiken. i know a lot of comparisons are drawn between you and clay (happy sigh), but i still can tell the difference between your voices. you’ve got your own voice, and your own voice has a fan. that’s me, in case you’re wondering. i mean, you probably have a lot of other fans. but they’re not blogging here… IDOLS02

amy adams — i love your personality. you kinda remind me of me, with all that energy and life and little bit o’ kooky. oh, and that’s my all-time most frequent karaoke song. so i’ve gotta like you. really good voice, and a whole lot of sparkle on stage. and i wouldn’t mind reading or seeing an interview with you, so i think i might vote for you. IDOLS03.

jon peter lewis — the pen salesman. you have such an adorable personality. and you are so wrong about yourself. you and your brothers are all photogenic (btw, love the tooth-gap). i’ve said this before, you have such a unique voice. i really love that about you, and you have to get one of my votes, because i love tiny dancer. UPDATE: votes all taken up. sorry, i hope you come back for the wildcard round. every time you open your mouth, i’ve forgotten what your voice sounds like, because nothing in the world sounds like it, so you surprise me every time. scare me at first, but eventually, i’m just lovin’ you. IDOLS04.

charly lowry — wow, where are ewe frum? “i think my accent has made me distinctive from the other contestants.” ya think? well, you started off kind of shaky, and i don’t like pink so much (except on lilies), but you prove to have a great voice, you can wail. you’ve got fabulous stage presence. and i do agree with simon here. very good voice, but you need to let go. i think we’ll see you in the top 12, even if you don’t make it thru tonight. IDOLS05.

jonah moananu — ok, you make me laugh, big guy. drama teacher? yeah, i can see that. free style rapper who is as self-deprecating as some joyful people tell me i am, gotta love you. and don’t tell yourself you’re not cute, because ya are. i think you have a great voice, i think you did a good job, but paula and randy are right. you didn’t push your range, and that makes me think of ruben studdard. if you didn’t have such a great personality, i wouldn’t consider you at all, just because i don’t like laziness in this competition. i wouldn’t take it as far as simon and say you’re not very good, i just think you could have done so much better. IDOLS06

leah labelle — i really like you, i like your stage presence, and your voice is wonderful. but you had all kinds of pitch problems tonight. am i the only one who heard the flat notes? but overall, i do agree. you should move on to the next round, you’re probably in the top 10 in the competition, just get the nerves under control, and you’ll be great. IDOLS07

latoya london — whoa, BRAVE song choice, at least that’s what people tell me when i do it at karaoke. um, you might have my favorite voice in all of the competition. you are perhaps the most talented person in the competition. fabulous all over the board. you’re a star. brilliant, brilliant. and simon is correct, you kept it quiet, and just EXPLODED. and did i mention you are gorgeous? absolutely beautiful. congratulations, and welcome to the top 2. you are WONDERFUL. the only person tonight who is a definite shoe-in in my book. WOW, YOU EVEN GAVE ME CHILLS ON THE REPLAY!! BRAVO. IDOLS08. VOTE FOR HER!!!

so. after last week, which wasn’t even worth my reviewing (for those of you who missed me last week), tonight was the best night so far. i thought week 1 was stacked, that all the talent ended up in that week, but oh, how wrong i was. no, wait. i’m never wrong. i only change my mind. so i changed my mind.

today i have been living the dream life of rand mcnally. it’s weird, because all day i dreamed about posting comments on people’s blogs. weirdness and illness aside, i’d say i’m living the good life. eating chunky monkey (a phrase i’m sure you’re all tired of hearing, but just get used to it) and living by my boyfriend jason’s song…. well, actually, just living by the title part of the song. none of the rest really applies, and i’m not sure i know what it means. he’s so complex and simple. anyway, my point is i’ve slept all day. good times.

IF YOU HAVEN’T LEARNED BY NOW, ALL MY REVIEWS CONTAIN SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE EP. I AM NOT PEOPLE MAGAZINE (bleck) OR ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. I AM SARAHK. ANYWAY, DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T WANT IT SPOILED.

i saved posting this review of last week’s show for 2 reasons. 1) it was still in draft form and not ready to be published. 2) with no ALIAS last night and none next week, i figured you’d all need something ALIAS related to do this week. so here you go. i wrote most of this as i watched the ep. last week, so it’s in present tense, while the intro is in past tense. i hope you can deal with that. oh, and i also made it super-long so you can read it for the next 2 weeks. ration yourself if you must.

well, i think it’s been a couple of years since we last saw a new episode of the best show not on television. i know this must be close to true, because when watching the “previously on ALIAS”, i’m thinking, “wow, it’s been so long since i’ve seen that. was that just the last episode?” in other words, ABC, we need to have a talk about how you’re treating the show. preempted for lame movies. preempted for house makeovers. preempted for anything that does not remotely involve jennifer garner, michael vartan, bradley cooper or david anders. i’m pretty sure that if ABC could get the rights to show Eye of the Beholder, the absolute WORST MOVIE EVER, every sunday night, they would probably preempt ALIAS for that. the dvd box set for season 3 comes out on september 7, so i’m pretty sure that i’ll have the whole season on dvd before they ever show it on tv. bah, ABC, bah. anyway, on with the show.

in the first scene tonight, there’s this really tall cliff thingy that syd and vaughn are planted on for recon purposes, and oh it is very scary. and now they are parachuting right off of it. i think i’m going to hurl.

so about a month ago, syd and vaughn got all gag-puke sentimental when they were captured by the north korean army while extracting a covenant agent. the ep. begins with a discussion of lisenker’s (the defector) info. unfortunately (translated: we need a mission), lisenker’s info, called the doleac agenda, is kept inside a scary fortress with all kinds of countermeasures to keep out bad guys and cia agents. the agenda details plans for all 6 covenant cells (hmm. 6 covenant cells, exactly 1/2 the number of cells of the alliance. j.j., your numbers tricks don’t get by me!). syd & vaughn are supposed to go on a mission together to talk to the lady who designed the system, which syd is unsure about. i mean, like, she really really like likes vaughn, but like, he’s married to that, like, evil woman, and even though the audience, like, knows that she’s evil, like, sydney just THINKS she’s evil. so sydney, at the prompting of spydaddy bristow, asks dixon to send weiss with her instead.

so then spydaddy bristow goes to visit sloane. if you can remember back to the last ep. (you may need to re-read my last review to remember back that far), jack was going to kill sloane to save sydney. which i thought was a great idea, btw. anyway, sloane says he forgives jack, because sydney’s life was on the line, and throws out some refuse like, “you and sydney are my lifeblood. you’re all that sustains me since emily died. i can’t live without you two people who hate me. how about a hug, jack?”

then sydney goes to see dr. barnett, who gets a lot of play in this ep., and tells her that vaughn is her soulmate and that she’s having a really hard time coping. um, is it just me, or does syd really have a lot of problems, not the greatest of which is losing her bf of less than a year to an evil demon? let’s see… mom not really dead, mom evil, mom shot me, mom tackled me with a hockey stick, i miss my evil mom again, dad trained me when i was 6 to be a spy, dad framed mom for bad stuff and almost got her executed, found fiance shot dead in the bathtub, rescued the man who shot my fiance, partner shot, brief mission partner’s throat slashed while i was being tortured in a mental institution, woman i loved like a mother accidentally shot by my previously shot partner, best friend tortured by evil dentist, guy with big crush on me kidnapped and tortured by same evil dentist, i myself tortured by same evil dentist, found out i was working for the bad guys, oogled by gross old man on a posh 747, old boyfriend came back into the picture, he turned out to be evil, but i didn’t know that until i killed him, roommate killed by genetic double, genetic double posed as roommate and invaded all kinds of my privacy, found previously tortured best friend apparently dead in bathtub, kidnapped by evil agency for 2 years, lost 2 years of time to “i can’t remember”, oh yeah, there was that prophecy that said i’m gonna destroy the world, my eggs were stolen by evil agency, evil agency “tried” to make babies w/ my eggs and prophet’s dna, had all-out brawl with roommate’s double, killed her, no, i didn’t, but my not-dead best friend did, oh, no, i doubt that, too, karate-fought my partner, who stabbed me, almost executed at the hands of a north-korean firing squad, had to work with the most evil man in the world so i could destroy him, same evil man “loves me like a daughter” (gag), but you know what? i miss vaughn. THAT i cannot cope with.

so then we have a scene between my favorite baddie sark (happy sigh) and that evil woman lauren. i wish sydney would just accidentally shoot or poison her or something already. so sarky confronts vaughn’s evil wife and tells her he knows she killed his father and that he’s not too torn up about it. he proposes that they kill the leaders of the 6 covenant cells and steal the keys to their headquarters. then they’ll bribe the head of the covenant for power in exchange for not turning the keys over to the cia. lauren, evil as she is, agrees. oh, and may i just say, i want to vomit every time sark looks longingly at lauren. gross, she’s more evil than you are, julian!

so syd & weiss meet with vivica a. fox, the person who designed the fortress countermeasures, and weiss gets all i’m-about-to-have-my-own-tough-guy-bounty-hunter-show tough with vivica, and he’s good at that. go, weissy! so vivica tells them there’s no way they can break into this place, and marshall and carrie start working on a plan to do just that.

ok, so here’s a very disturbing scene. and this is an unfortunate image that i care not see. watching sloane shoot up something green into his veins. first of all, the shooting up is enough to make me queasy. but the most disturbing part of all is that he’s shooting up something green. is he a martian? i mean, i’ve never done drugs, not smoked pot, never even been drunk. so maybe i’m just a narcotics idiot. but what is the green liquid? it makes me think that rambaldi was an alien, aka sloane, and in order to stay alive 500 years on earth, he has to shoot up with martian juice. new theory, folks, and i came up with it all on my own. spread it around, and maybe j.j. will write it. or maybe i am j.j. in which case, i’m bringing back will to the show!! woohoo!! moving right along…

wow, it took me half an episode to notice that spydaddy bristow has lost weight. i kept noticing he looked younger, i’m guessing this is why. i have a little crush on spydaddy bristow as it is, so i imagine the new youthful appearance is going to make my crush even worse. i already have a crush on a bad guy, now my crush on the dad guy is going to get bigger.

so anyway, after sloane/rambaldi shoots up green martian juice, he calls jack and tells him that he needs to see a shrink (sloanebaldi, not jack). so barnett flies to whatever country sloane is in to visit him. may i just say that i think this is a great waste of taxpayer dollars. flying a cia shrink to whatever other country so she can counsel a lunatic who should be in prison or on death row in texas (let’s face it, we’ve got a great track record for actually following through on our executions). so anyway, as the astute or even not extremely stupid viewer would imagine, sloane starts manipulating barnett. eventually, he starts talking to her and tells her that he has a big secret about jack and sydney. since sloane is nothing but the double-crossing spawn of satan, i’m sure this is just another ploy to hoodwink the spies bristow. he’ll use barnett to do it for him.

meanwhile, covenant cell leaders are starting to turn up dead, courtesy of vaughn’s evil wife lauren and sarky-pooh. so syd, vaughn & jack leave immediately for the sufficiently-countermeasured chalet in chamonix. on the plane, vaughn tells sydney he knows and understands why she requested that weiss replace him earlier. she tells him in very certain terms that she will not be “the other woman”. so then they start their mission, which is very complicated. so shockingly enough, they survive all of the booty traps — i mean, booby traps — and retrieve the doleac agenda.

ok, so right in the middle of the mission to retrieve the doleac agenda, carrie starts going into labor. she and marshall are running the tech ops from L.A., through an uplink provided by jack, who’s running coms in the field. so carrie starts to have a baby, and my first thought is marshall’s gonna be a dad, that’s scarier than sloanebaldi! and carrie, who has been anti-marriage until now says she wants to be married before the baby is born. uh, ok, carrie, but no preacher man around, what to do? not to fear, marshall is a computer geek and instructs weiss. weiss goes online and certifies himself as a minister of the church of mammals. i’m picturing weiss in a dolphin suit, or speaking whale like dory in finding nemo. “dooooooooo yoooooo taaaaaayyyyyyke thiiiiiiiis womaaaaan?” anyway, weiss marries carrie and marshall while marshall guides syd & vaughn through their mission. i feel like i’ve stepped into the twilight mammal zone. anyway, the mission ends as marshall and carrie say “iiiiiiiiiiii doooooooo”, and spydaddy saves vaughn & syd by killing some pursuing guards. he SO ROCKS. oh, and marshall calls carrie “mrs. flinkman” as she’s fleeing the room, and she waves him off with a quick “i’m keeping my name.” good stuff.

ok, so somewhere in this episode, sark and vaughn’s evil wife lauren kiss. so now, my sarky has been defiled by lauren reed. they have kissed. puke and gag and puke and gag and puke and wash my mouth out with soap. so here’s the part where i have to correct myself. at one point in a previous review, i theorized that sark and lauren are brother and sister. but if so, J.J., YOU HAVE A SICK SENSE OF HUMOR!

alrighty. barnett and sloane finally talk, because, hey, we didn’t waste those tax dollars for nothing. and sloane’s got a big secret that’s central to his very existence, and it affects jack & sydney. i’m pretty sure that i was right about arvin sloane. what’s his middle name? his mother’s maiden name is bishop, so that doesn’t work. but i’ll bet you if i knew his middle name, i could rearrange the letters in his name to be milo rambaldi (milo will also need a middle name). hmm. my next occupation, i think i’ll be j.j. abrams.

ok, so sarky goes to visit the head of the covenant, who turns out to be none other than mckennas cole, who is obsessed with people’s hair. and cole says something very interesting. that he is the man in front of the man? interesting. so the man is still running the show, and since irina is the man (or is she?), i’m thinkin’ she’s lurking around. perhaps as katya. da-da-DUM. anyway, this is where sark finds out that lauren double-crossed him and took all of the keys straight to cole after they had acquired them. um, i would like to point out that sark is really cute when he’s been played like a xylophone. let me tell ya something i really like. i like seeing sark scared. so vulnerable. makes him almost sweet. oops. drooling.

so lauren gets back to l.a., and marches up to syd and says “stay away from my husband.” that’s the end of the show. and i hope that when it resumes next year, syd sucker-punches her in the stomach and then says “ok, you evil wh—”. ok, i’ll stop now.

one more thing before i go. if any of you out there actually believe that sloane is going to say that he is syd’s father, we need to have a talk. speaking of talks, ABC, we’re gonna have lunch soon. at 3:00. in the parking lot.

the hockey gods blessed me twice today. first, spydaddy called me and told me i get to go to the stars game friday night. WOOHOO!!

then, i got this in the mail. i don’t care that it’s an ad. my 2nd boyfriend is on it. i love him.

and sunday, i’m going to a brahmas game. thank you hockey gods!

i still can’t find my happy pills. AND I DON’T CARE!!!! of course, i haven’t filled out any financial statement disclosure checklists yet, so i can’t say i won’t care later.

have a lovely day everyone!!

The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
Day unto day utters speech,
And night unto night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech nor language
Where their voice is not heard.
Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.
In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun,
Which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
And rejoices like a strong man to run its race.
Its rising is from one end of heaven,
And its circuit to the other end;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat.

The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul;
The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple;
The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes;
The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;

The judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold,
Yea, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
Moreover by them Your servant is warned,

Who can understand his errors?
Cleanse me from secret faults.
And in keeping them there is great reward.
Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins;
Let them not have dominion over me.
Then I shall be blameless,
And I shall be innocent of great transgression.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.

–NKJV

every one of us is blessed to be alive today. let us be thankful to God for our lives.

today i have laughed harder than all my previous days combined. if you’re the one responsible for this, you know who you are.

VAUGHN: i’m agent vaughn. has anyone offered you a drink? i’m sure i could find you a soda.
long pause
VAUGHN: this is not a good time to be a terrorist, manolo. a couple years ago, you would have had some civil rights. now we just throw you in a cell, no attorney, no due process. so. who were you working for?
long pause
VAUGHN: ok. in that case, we’ll just let the pictures tell the story… satellite photos from four days ago showing you rigging a plantation building in the jungle near sambava. those photos are all we need to put you away for the rest of your life… so i’m gonna ask you one more time. do you want that soda?

i’m thinkin’ the higher-ups at kroger read my blog and knew that i was out of food. actually, not out of food. but out of coca-cola, which is the life-sustaining nutrient without which i cannot live.

in light of yesterday’s lament about my plight at the hands of the bedford police department and my own disregard of the law, KROGER HAD A ROCKIN’ SALE GOIN’ ON TODAY!!! for that, i am very thankful. i mean, EVERYTHING on my grocery list was on sale, including coca-cola AND ben and jerry’s ice cream, and i hardly ever see cat litter BUY ONE GET ONE!

so now i’m all stocked up on litter, liquid & chunky monkey (argh, i thought i could make an alliterative “el” series, oh well). thanks, kroger!

spooky…

today i got pulled over for breaking the law. i deserved it, i admit it, i regret it, i can’t afford it, i’m really bummed about it.

sean-o, here’s what the accounting entry would look like for this transaction (ignoring the fact that i should have booked the expense and liability in november/december):

Dr Citation for tags not being current EXPENSE for $unknown amt i can’t afford
Dr Citation for inspection being out EXPENSE for $too much
Dr Tags EXPENSE $65 or so
Dr Additional tags EXPENSE for getting a ticket for tags being out for $20 or so
Dr Inspection fee EXPENSE for $30 or so
Cr PAYABLE to Bedford Police department for $who knows, but i can’t afford it
Cr PAYABLE to Betsy Price for $85 or so
Cr PAYABLE to whomever inspects for cheap for $30 or so

(to record expense for sarahk’s apathy and lack of sense of urgency)

in related news, i’m depressed now. and i’m comfort-eating. so far, 2 kolaches, 2 sausage rolls and a coke. so much for the diet today. when i get home i think i’ll have a jar of pickles, a bag of reese’s peanut butter cups and a pint of chunky monkey. and watch law and order or something like that.

in another related story, i have set up a gift box through amazon.com where you folks can anonymously give me as much money as you want to. i thought y’all might appreciate that. you’re welcome. ;-)

in another story related to the second related story, i can’t figure out how to get the little gift box icon onto my blog, and i want to make it as easy as possible for y’all to donate. i’m all about being a good facilitator. if anyone can help with this related-related problem, please email me or comment me.

grazzi, all, and have a wonderful day! may the road rise to meet your inspected and licensed SUV, may the wind be always at the back of your ford, and may the good Lord keep the Bedford Police Department away from you.

INIGO MONTOYA: are you the miracle max that worked for the king for all those years?
MIRACLE MAX: the king’s stinking son fired me. and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. while you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice papercut, and poor lemon juice on it? we’re closed!

go ahead and tell me i need to have my head examined. i know it to be true. last night i tutored a friend in accounting principles. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!! so today i’m thankful for accounting principles. that’s sick, sarahk. remind me to write you a note later.

VAUGHN: you’re cleared to read classified documents and you get a government salary, which isn’t much.
WILL: compared to what I make now it’s… much.

SAM: how sick is she?
BENNY: oh, she’s plenty sick.
SAM: oh. because you know, it seems to me that, aside from being a little mentally ill, she’s pretty normal.

some silly sentences for your ponderance:

so it’s a non-negative non-positive mediocre happy-unhappy medium.
i can and can’t be ambiguously unequivocally equivocal with little much ambiguity.
i’m not sure that I’m sure I can or can’t top/over-the-top it. and but I will and won’t try sporadically and frequently.
that may or may not be what I was or wasn’t going or coming for or against.

now that your heads are spinning, i’ll leave you to it…

spydaddy sent me one of those email forward thingies. it was about marriage. i liked the tag line best. i have no idea who the original author is, all i know is it wasn’t me. but i definitely agree.

“God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.”

true, true.

My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding,
If you seek her as silver
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
Then you will understand the fear of the Lord,
And find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;
He guards the paths of justice,
And preserves the way of His saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice,
Equity and every good path.
When wisdom enters your heart,
And knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
Discretion will preserve you;
Understanding will keep you,
To deliver you from the way of evil,
From the man who speaks perverse things,
From those who leave the paths of uprightness
To walk in the ways of darkness.