so i discovered a most heavenly ice cream flavor. ben & jerry (makers of my beloved chunky monkey) have a new flavor called dublin mudslide. and it has limited batch written all over it. mean hippies, ben and jerry, that’s what y’all are. get me hooked and then “limited batch” it.

we’re pretty far along in AI tonight, and i have nothing to write about except the fact that randy jackson is a fraud. every time he says something is “pitchy”, it’s not, and every time it’s pitchy, he misses it. i think he just says it when he thinks he’s supposed to. oh, and simon cowell is so sexy.

01 camile - didn’t see it
02 jon peter - good, and the personality was back.
03 latoya - had a few off-key notes, but still good.
04 amy - she’s picking up speed. she was really good.
05 john stevens - out of key a lot tonight. too bad, he could have owned “my girl”.
06 jennifer - she was great. i love her attitude.
07 jasmine - far better than last week.
08 diana - great as always. she really knows how to work a crowd.
09 fantasia - awesome. this girl has everything. i love her. VOTE FOR HER.
10 george - great great great love him love him. best tonight. VOTE FOR GEORGE!!!!!

i want a top 3 of fantasia, george and latoya or diana. i have spoken. hear me and obey.

there are some things i want to get off my chest (like my shirt). why? do i need a reason? i didn’t think so. :) if anyone has a problem with my candor, i suggest you close your eyes or hit Alt+F4. i will warn you: this is not for children.

1. last night, i slept neckid. because it really feels great to be neckid under a ceiling fan. i think i’ll sleep neckid again tonight. and you know what? i like sleeping neckid.

2. i like living alone. because i can walk around neckid whenever i feel like it. as long as the blinds are closed, no one complains; of course, i’m thinking there wouldn’t be a slew of complaints if the blinds were open. ;)

3. i also like living alone because just now when i belched quite loudly, i didn’t have to apologize to NO ONE. the kitties don’t really care. and if they do, what are they gonna do about it? they know who feeds them.
(more…)

…mainly because there are many others out there who can say anything that i have to say more efficiently, succinctly and completely (not to mention funny-ly) than i can.

that said, john kerry scares the living daylights out of me. while reading harvey at bad money’s article on socialism, i linked to kerry’s website and read highlights of his proposed national service plan, and all i can say is VOTE FOR BUSH.

read the plan; it’s entertaining as well as scary and enlightening (like a good horror flick, only if kerry is elected, we won’t be able to run screaming from the theater. we’ll be trapped in a dirty auditorium w/ sticky floors and no stadium seating for 4 or more years). and read harvey’s socialism piece, it’s good.

And in that day you will say:
“O LORD, I will praise You;
Though You were angry with me,
Your anger is turned away, and You comfort me.
Behold, God is my salvation,
I will trust and not be afraid;
“For YAH, the LORD, is my strength and song;
He also has become my salvation.’”
Therefore with joy you will draw water
From the wells of salvation.
And in that day you will say:
“Praise the LORD, call upon His name;
Declare His deeds among the peoples,
Make mention that His name is exalted.
Sing to the LORD,
For He has done excellent things;
This is known in all the earth.
Cry out and shout, O inhabitant of Zion,
For great is the Holy One of Israel in your midst! “

spidade told me that a new movie started this weekend that has both heath ledger AND the most beautiful elf-turned-pirate in the whole world????

that warrants a thankful for of the day. oh yes it does.

JOSIE: sorry i’m late.
MRS. KNOTTS: yeah, well, i’m sorry i forgot to take my hot flash medication today!

today is another one of God’s playing-with-the-numbers days! which means numbers fun for sarahk! and yes, i freely admit my geekness.

the date: 03-27-2004. and here we go…

3*9=27-(2+0+0+4) = 21; 2+1 = 3, and we’re back where we started.
or

3+2+7 = 12*(2+0+0+4) = 72, the reverse of 27. 72/3 = 24, which is 27-03!!!!!!!!
or

0+3 = 3; 2+7 = 9; 2+0+0+4 = 6; rearrange, and the date has 3, 6, and 9!!
or

2004/3 = 668; 6*6*8 = 288; 2*8*8 = 128; 1*2*8 = 16; 668+288+128+16 = 1100; 1100-27 = 1073. 10-7=3!!!!!!!!!

ok, my brain is tired now (don’t make fun — i have a migraine). there are so many more combos, but i’m worn out. maybe more later, maybe not. feel free to add your own in the comments; and if you find errors, please correct me in a kind, gentle fashion. and send me ice cream (chocolate almond or chunky monkey).

but it’s not. eek. my beloved goalie, marty turco, was suspended for 4 games by the league for wednesday night’s high-sticking of the crude’s ryan smyth. yeah, he kinda deserves it.

oh well. tsk, tsk, marty. you’ve got a little bit of crazy eddie in you, and that ain’t bad in itself. we’ll see you back for the last game of the season and all of the stanley cup playoffs.

go stars.

many kudos and thanks to the casting director and all others responsible for pulling together the fabulous ensemble cast of the lord of the rings trilogy.

and a very special thanks for orlando bloom as the most beautiful elf of all time, and for viggo mortensen’s aragorn — viggo should always have a beard and long hair.

and did i say thanks for casting orlando bloom as the greatest action hero of all time (i stole that from a friend, but i totally agree w/ his assessment)?

oh, and for casting orlando bloom as the elfboy (drool), i thank the powers that be’d.

and i’m really happy about the elf casting of the trilogy. thank you.

hmm. anyone care to guess what i’m watching?

today has been a good day!!! my head was ok this morning, so i took advantage and got a bunch of stuff done while i could. i ran errands, GOT MY CAR TAGS and got one of my tickets dismissed before the pain kicked in. very productive. now i’m gonna take meds and a nap, then maybe more chores later. yay me.

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne,
high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple.
Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings:
with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew.
And one cried to another and said:

“Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts;
The whole earth is full of His glory! ”

And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out,
and the house was filled with smoke.
So I said:

“Woe is me, for I am undone!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King,
The LORD of hosts.”

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal
which he had taken with the tongs from the altar.
And he touched my mouth with it, and said:

“Behold, this has touched your lips;
Your iniquity is taken away,
And your sin purged.”

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:

“Whom shall I send,
And who will go for Us?”

Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

there are worse reasons to do it than watching YOUR! DALLAS! STAAAAAARRRRRS! beat their crude arch-rivals in overtime.

the cats will get over it.
man, i love hockey.

i’m thankful for the color brown. i look good in brown. probably because i’m a nature freak — not to be confused with freak of nature.

today i knocked a couple of things off of my to-do list. important stuff like hooking my stereo speakers back up, showering, watching general hospital, making my to-do list. very productive day. yay me!

diana - 01 - good but no energy. just sang. but even when she just sings, she’s awesome.

george - 02 - awesome. love him. VOTE FOR GEORGE!!!

fantasia - 03 - i agree exactly with simon. she was great vocally, but she was far too understated. be you, baby!

jon stevens - 04 - this was his best night yet. but i like him anyway. the hair and the eyes and the voice. lovely.

camile - 05 - she was so nervous tonight, and i wish that randy and paula would stop with the kid gloves already. she had good moments, but just wasn’t great. and that’s too bad, because i like her ok. but she doesn’t believe it, so she can’t project it. and she doesn’t have any personality when she’s performing.

jennifer hudson 06 - she really puts her whole body and face and soul into every song she sings. i think she was great, and loved the hair. she looks so much older and more believable. i think she’s in the top half.

john peter lewis - 07 - his voice is so unique, and i love it. he was really good tonight. he’ll stick around.

jasmine [number withheld] - she’s terrible. the judges need to invest in q-tips and clean the earwax out. she’s sweet as can be, but she wasn’t even good enough for a karaoke contest tonight.

matt [number withheld] - awful. so ready for him to be gone. the fake humility is awful too, because we all know he’s a cocky punk. you’ve let your true colors show for a long time, tonight won’t convince me. plus he was terrible tonight. i didn’t know you could be flat then sharp on consecutive pitches.

latoya 10 - worked the crowd great, full of energy, she has everything. she was fantastic. VOTE FOR HER!!

amy 11 - trashy song, but she threw in so much energy and really let go her voice. this was her best performance yet. she may have been the 2nd best tonight, behind latoya.

holy guac! someone check my temperature. am i hallucinating? i mean, i’m used to this happening when i escape the season three circus (complete with freaky hair and too much lipstick - sorry spydaddy) by slipping into the comfort of a season one or season two marathon. but was that two great SEASON THREE episodes back to back!!!!???!!!! i’m sure i dreamt it. btw, i heard that dreamt is the only word in the english language that ends in ‘mt’. i haven’t been able to disprove that statement, so if anyone can, please let me know. it will make me look smart. anyway, ration yourself over a few days if you must, because as always, i have much to say.

dear toughly loved JJ,

tonight’s episode of alias was great — though i’m debating. can an episode containing larvin truly be great, or was it just really really good? i mean, there wasn’t as much vaughn this week as last week (and no syd/vaughn awwwwwww moments), so last week was a touch better, but dixon was rockin’ and partnered on missions w/ syd, and spydaddy and his great faces stole the show. and if you had to have less vaughn this week, at least you filled my spy boyfriend need by giving me lots of sarkypooh. thanks for that, and for letting him wear shades some of the time. mmm. anyway, i thank you for a great ensemble effort tonight; i guess it was even ok that larvin was in the episode (though i’m pretty sure we’ve discussed her evil lips and hands being on vaughn — BAD ROBOT!!), because she was kind of necessary for spydaddy’s awesome look at the end of the ep. actually, you could have just had vaughn talking to her on speakerphone and spydaddy over-listening, and we wouldn’t have had to actually see her. but whatever.

about that writer’s job. here are the numbers again: i’m at 800-MNT-NEER, and spidade changed his number to CIA-CHOKEMAN. yeah, i know it’s 11 digits and not 10. i would say you can just leave the N off when you call the number, but i don’t think my mom would appreciate that. we look forward to hearing from you.

still toughly lovin’ you,
sarahk
(more…)

not sure how to feel about this. anyone who knows me knows my severe dislike of neckid britney’s “singing” voice. in fact, i am a firm believer that the only good use for her music is for me to have something else to make fun of (occasionally i put on my mouse voice and do a great impersonation, without all the indecency). so today i’ve got media player set to “i’m feeling lucky”, and one of her songs came on (downloaded only for the purposes of learning more karaoke tunes), and my headache actually subsided a little during that one song. i don’t know why; maybe the pain she caused my ears became intense enough that i just forgot about the head pain for a few minutes. anyway, it scared me.

MCKENNAS COLE: you don’t remember, do you? i, i didn’t at first either. we’ve met before.

it was about 5 years ago. here at sd-6… which was really rare for me, ’cause i was a freelancer, but i was here. and i saw you in the coffee room. you were wearing pigtails. and i asked you out…

now. i know i’m not the subtlest guy when it comes to women. and i probably said something insanely inappropriate, because you told me if i ever talked to you again, you’d break my kneecaps. which just … made me love you.

i’ve thought about you, these last 5 years, i have. um, just every once in a while i think, “i wonder whatever happened to pigtails?” and, um, you know, what i took away was the fact that you didn’t wanna go see some mediocre romantic comedy with me, sit in my pontiac in the parking lot where we talked for an hour before i made my move. you didn’t wanna kiss me. remember?

SYDNEY: no, i do not. but i can see not wanting to kiss you.

hiya, self! yer lookin’ good, if i do say so myself. i was just taking a break from some work and thought we could chat for a minute. ok, not really. i talk — er, type — you listen read.

1. self, sheets actually work better if you put them on the bed. fyi.

2. hey, self, you know that fuzz growing in the dishes in your sink? it’s not cotton.

response to self from self: thanks a lot, self. now bikermommy is going to know there are dishes in the sink. quick, do them before she calls!
response to self from self: you first!

3. selfie, your SUV gets about 16 miles to the gallon. it might get the whopping 19 that it’s supposed to get if you would empty it out some. you also might be able to have at least 1 passenger.

4. self, those new headache meds are pretty cool (’cause they’re red, and you look great in red), but i really prefer the woooooooo of the vicodin. really.

5. i notice you’re still sleeping with the closet light on. seriously, there are no monsters under the bed.

response to s from s: do the dishes and we can call maintenance to fix it.
response to s from s: any other suggestions?

6. um, self? cats are like plants; they need water. oh no! you’ve never had a plant that you didn’t kill. quick, minerva, nicole, to the swimming pool!

7. self, when we were driving to church this morning, you seem to have forgotten a very basic driving rule. red=stop.

8. ok, self. now that you’ve gotten not one but TWO tickets from TWO separate police departments for your tags being 4 months expired, it’s time to comply. get to the courthouse.

noted.

nah wily view with sum fun knee homonyms sew week an crack up two gather. bees wheat two thee kid deke hats, there’s wheat too ewe. hay, arse tar czar inn forth play sin thee west urn con friends noun, say condone lee twos ann hose a inn thee pus if ick!

ghost ours!

Give unto the LORD, O you mighty ones,
Give unto the LORD glory and strength.
Give unto the LORD the glory due to His name;
Worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.
The voice of the LORD is over the waters;
The God of glory thunders;
The LORD is over many waters.
The voice of the LORD is powerful;
The voice of the LORD is full of majesty.

today i got to attend worship services for the first time in a couple of weeks. i really miss it when i’m not there. i listened to the sermon in the quiet dark of the cry room (not a single bebe at church this morning!) from the comfort of a big comfy rocking chair. it was really nice to be there at all. the cry room chair was an added bonus. ;)

BOB: i was feeling tight in the shoulders and neck, so i called down and had a shiatsu massage in my room.
CHARLOTTE: mmm, that’s nice!
BOB: and the tightness has completely disappeared and been replaced by unbelievable pain!

sarah h is giving me her portrait-sized pic of the grand canyon that her husband took on their honeymoon. what an awesome friend!

thank you sarah h!!

eh. so the no headache thing lasted the morning yesterday. then i had chic-fil-a and chocolate almond ice cream for lunch, and the headaches returned. hmm. come to think of it, ever since the headaches started a couple of months ago, i’ve increased my ice cream intake substantially. well, rather than testing that theory, i’ll just get better drugs.

and no, juan, you still can’t have my vicodin.

so i’ve ordered my DMB tickets for 2 shows in august (and received confirmation that i’ve got seats — woohoo!). and today i jump on the warehouse page to see my ticketing status, and wouldn’t ya know it? a warehouse announcement says that my boyfriend jason is the support act for DMB for shows august 31 - september 8. are my tickets for any of those days? NO! OF COURSE NOT! because my year HASN’T BEEN BAD ENOUGH. i’m so sad. i might cry. on the upside… hmm. can’t think of one right now. oh yeah. i’m seeing DMB twice in august. and it will be hot in august. which means boyd will probably be at the very least sleeveless. he has nice arms.

somebody should procure me some tickets to see a jason show. that will make me not so sad. maybe jason should coordinate this kind of stuff with me, his girlfriend.

woo. this is my first day in recent memory when my head hasn’t been killing me. unfortunately for the readers (all 2 of you), this means all my blonde ramblings are pouring forth. say lovey. hahahahahahaha (homonyms rock!).

today i have had a coca-cola (read in dreamy voice) and some headache drugs, and i am happy to report that my head does not hurt at the moment. woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!! and minerva doesn’t feel as warm as she did yesterday, isn’t swollen around her surgeried area, and she’s having a great time on the balcony watching the birdies and thinking “here, birdy birdy. just a little closer… hey, is that a bug? cool.” she has her mama’s attention span — too much tv in her formative years. and yes, i’m “one of those people” who call my cats my “girls” because i have no children of my own. even when/if i do have children of my own, i’m pretty sure they’ll still be my “girls”. i won’t be one of those mensas who gets rid of her cats because baby’s on the way; i’m pretty sure that the list of babies that have caught ill from being dropped in a litter box is pretty short. no offense to any mensas out there who got rid of their cats when they had babies.

i have the day off today. so i think i’ll shower, brush my teeth since it’s now 10ish, do some laundry, do some paperwork to get ready for the big D, visit cindy (who had foot surgery monday) and sandy (who did not have foot surgery), go for a walk, buy some electronics, save the planet (meaning, pray that george wins in november), buy some new jeans and eat the most underrated of cheap meals: chips and rotel w/ seasoned salt. followed by chunky monkey. hmmm. chunky monkey. ok, reverse the order of all that.

UPDATE: successfully showered, brushed my teeth, visited cindy, bought some electronics, saved the planet. bonus — set up my new wireless router. didn’t do laundry or paperwork, see sandy, go for a walk (except through circuit city), buy new jeans or eat any of the mentioned food. i’d say a good percentage was accomplished. yay me.

ta, everyone! have a looooooooooooooooooooooooovely day. and listen to good music. for how complete is life without the soundtrack of those “tiny fragments of perfection”?

UNCLE VERNON: and dudley, you will be?
DUDLEY: i’ll be waiting to open the door.
UNCLE VERNON: excellent. and you?
HARRY: i’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending i don’t exist.

today i got a massage. mary kept having to say “love you, mean it!”, because she really put the hurt on me. but she’s forgiven, because now my body’s relaxed, my head hurts less and i smell good. hooray.

so today i have probably the worst headache i’ve ever had in my entire life. the doc called me in a new med. turns out that they didn’t prescribe the last med, the pharmacy filled the wrong one. or the doc wrote the wrong prescription. either way, i’ve got a new drug today.

spidade was kind enough to come get my debit card, go to the pharmacy & get my meds, then bring it back to me. and he brought my coca-cola up from the car. very important. thank you, spidade, for all of that! though he did try to sneak off w/ my debit card and my car keys still in his pocket. ;)

but over the last few weeks, i’ve been thinking about it, and i’ve come up with a list of things that don’t make my head feel better.

1) nice as spidade was to get my stuff for me, when he first saw me this morning, he said, “wow. you don’t look good at all.” or “wow. you look terrible.” or “wow. that’s the worst hair i’ve seen since medusa.” or “wow. you stepped straight out of a stephen king novel.” or “hey, barfgirl, you look like puke.” don’t remember exactly what he said, but it didn’t make me feel better.

2) i’m out of sick time. that definitely makes me feel worse, because i’ll blow through my vacation & comp time pretty quickly with any more days like this, and then i’m guessing lower paychecks. that will not help me pay my attorney, and it certainly won’t get me that shift key that i apparently need. wah. in a related story, i got my amazon.com gift box to show up. see upper right-hand corner to give me money. thanks!

3) psychos don’t make me feel better either, but i’ve learned to just ignore them. eventually they become like gnats. just blow them off and move on. “hey. you. psycho. you’re in my light, can you move?” “hey, psycho, i’m walkin’ here.” “hey, psycho, let’s get this straight. your space. my space. they shouldn’t merge.” “shoo, psycho, don’t bother me.”

4) my closet light doesn’t make me feel better. the little stringy thingy is stuck, and i can’t get the stupid thing to turn off. so i’ve got light coming in from the window on one side, light coming in from the closet on the other side. i suppose i could unscrew the lightbulb, but it’s been on for two days. burned hands wouldn’t make me feel better either.

5) i only have about 1/4 gallon of chocolate almond ice cream, 1/2 pints of chunky monkey, peanut butter cup and buttered pecan ice cream, and 1 pint each of uncanny cashew and brownie batter ice cream. that’s all only going to last about a day, and then my lack of ice cream will not make me feel better.

6) ooh. spidade was right. looking in the mirror at the living dead doesn’t make me feel better either.

7) matt rogers is still on american idol. that doesn’t make me feel better. if i have to hear one more joke about how simon scares him or how simon makes him feel, i’m gonna barf. even w/o looking in the mirror. simon’s not looking amused, either. i’m thinking matt’s friends are using the nikki mckibbin call machine to get him extra votes.

8) i’m just not funny these days. even jay leno and jimmy kimmel are probably funnier than me right now. well, maybe i’m hyperbole-ing just a little.

9) bright light! bright light! bad for headaches.

maybe later i can come up with a list of things that make me feel better. but for now, i’m just going to wallow in my misery and snuggle w/ the kitty cats.

i wish i could say that today i feel better. oh well, maybe tomorrow i’ll feel well enough to post. until then, go read the princess bride quotes at imdb. or read scrappleface.