y’all have been so patient while i ignored y’all for 5 days (ok, ok, y’all have been so patient while Frank ignored y’all for 5 days), so here’s a sneak preview of the new IMAO modeling photos.

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look at my beautiful flowers. :)

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i know, big shocker. but it was funny just now when ED went off on a rant about Canada and them hating us, and the producers and Brian started making fun of her. played Ray Charles in the background and put up the banner “E.D.torial” as the American flag flew on screens behind her. so cute.

why, two damsels in distress!

today i left sunny Florida and, after a brief stint in DFW, landed in Amarillo, which is… um, not sunny. when i landed, it was 27 degrees, and flying in i could see nothing but white covering the brown of the surrounding areas. i thought, yay snow! then i remembered this little problem i had Wednesday when i arrived at the airport, and boo snow!

when i pulled up to airport security last week, i rolled down my window, after which the window fell down into my door. i was able to pull it out somewhat, but when i boarded the plane for Florida, all i could think was, “i hope no one gets into my car and steals my tear gas and bottled water.” so when i landed today, i was a little stressed about how i would deal with my fallen window and figured i would have to do it tonight due to the snow and ice.

not to worry, my car wasn’t even leaving the airport garage. dead battery.

i called Bikermommy. she would get off work in 10 minutes and could come jump my car.

BIKERMOMMY: do you know how to jump a car?
SARAHK: i’ve seen it done. something to do with positives and negatives and black, red. piece of cake.
BIKERMOMMY: i’ll be there in a little while.

so Bikey showed up, and we were determined to start my battery. she had called and gotten instructions from Pappy. did i mention the cold? it was cold. we got out the jumper cables and looked at the batteries… uhhhh… hmm… so… hmm…

we got back in Bikermommy’s Jeep and decided she would just take me home. but maybe we should call Pappy and see if he could come… no, wait, we should try this, said Bikey. we can do it.

uhhhh… hmm… so… hmm…

BIKERMOMMY: it’s so cold.
SARAHK: hey, i think on mine, we have to pull off this rubber thingy.
BIKERMOMMY: no! don’t do that! that’s crazy!
SARAHK: i’m not crazy! you’re crazy!
BIKERMOMMY: ok, so this one says positive, and this one says negative.
SARAHK: hey, i think the colors mean something. the red goes with red goes with red. black goes with black goes with black.
BIKERMOMMY: you’re crazy! and i’m… scared. i don’t want to blow up the cars.
SARAHK: i know! that’s why i’ve never jumped my own car before! i’m always scared! i play damsel in distress, get a man to do it, and i stand back, away from the car, so i can’t get blown up!
BIKERMOMMY: uhhhh…
SARAHK: hmm…
BIKERMOMMY: so…
SARAHK: hmm…
BIKERMOMMY: let’s try again. oh, look. i tried to put the red cable to the red one here marked positive, and i can’t get it on!
SARAHK: well, we tried! what more could we do?
BIKERMOMMY: let’s call Pappy and ask him to come do it.

so Pappy came and rescued the damsels in distress and did in five minutes what we spent an hour trying to get up the nerve/smarts/coordination to do.

yay for damsel in distress mode! yay for being able to turn it on so easily! boo dead batteries!

btw, i was able to roll up my window enough that it will be cold in my car tomorrow but my driver’s seat won’t be full of snow. and no one can steal my tear gas. yay!

related post from the evil fake sarahk who cannot be trusted

is up over at Random Thoughts from Marybeth. sorry i didn’t post this earlier, blame Frank J. :) but at least i wasn’t the only one. ;)

next week’s host for the carnival is my very own blogdaughter Angela of Fresh as a Daisy! send your recipes to recipe(dot)carnival(at)gmail(dot)com.

this week’s Carnival of the Cats is up over at Watermark! go see the great catblogging not found here at mountaineer musings. that is, go see other people’s great catblogging, since you’ve already seen mine. :) enjoy!

yay! get happy! i’m back to blogging!

right after i eat my potato soup w/ super-yummy muenster cheese.

i also have 78 unread emails! but at least 15 of them are telling me someone tried to spam my blog and got caught in moderation. punks. anyway, it may take a while to get to those.

ok, so welcome back, me. thanks, me! nice to have you home. Minerva mised you too. i’m so glad, because if she didn’t miss me, what reason would i have had to return? besides you know, family & friends & stuff. true dat, sarahk. anyway, good to see you. you too.

my lovely holiday weekend with Mr. Wonderful came to an end this morning. me sad. :( i miss him already. yes, i’m a chick. a sappy one, even.

but i like guns, too, so men, y’all don’t leave.

i’m sitting in DFW waiting for my connection to Amarillo, where Bikermommy says it has already begun to snow. yippee. remember when i used to get excited about snow? yeah, now my car window is broken, so i’m not so happy about coming home to that. at least it’s parked under cover right now. anyway, it’s supposed to be in the teens tonight.

weekend was awesome, i’ll blog all about it soon.

know what’s cool? wi-fi at the airport. the only thing cooler is the Albuquerque airport, which if i remember correctly has free wi-fi.

go see what the evil fake sarahk has been up to this weekend. she’s an evil lying liar, and don’t believe any of the lies she tells!

i’m almost finished with Emma’s Promise, the novel by Amy Corron (see my ad in the top right corner). i’m enjoying it, and i will have a review up soon. meanwhile, y’all go see Amy’s website and buy the book. i plan on buying some for Christmas gifts myself.

last night, we had an IMAO photo shoot, and i think y’all will like the pics. we got some good ones, and some really bad ones that i think will end up as caption contests.

k, my flight is boarding so i have to say ta for now! more when i get home!

we’re still alive & stuff, just really enjoying each other’s company. i leave tomorrow morning, so here are some weekend quick hits while y’all wait for normal blogging to resume:

we’ve been eating Thanksgiving leftovers all weekend. Frank’s probably sick of them by now, but he keeps asking for them. sweet man. i think we’re having pecan pie and pumpkin pie for dinner. we’re too full for anything else.

shooting range was super fun, we’ll do range reports sometime in the future. last night we cleaned the guns, and that was neato too. i fully disassembled and reassembled a 1911. yay me!

we played pool, and yes, i’m still no good at it. and Frank’s better than i expected he would be.

had lunch today with Cheesecake and Hana, very nice friends of Mr. Wonderful. good food, too.

tonight we took new modeling photos in my new IMAO t-shirts. wait. only * i * was in my new t-shirts, but y’all know what i mean. anyway, Frank has lots of guns, which make for great photos. yay modeling! look for those pics to appear soon, we got some great shots. especially with Frank as Italian/French photographer and me as British model chick. it’s quite funny, we both stay in character and do our little accents. we did the same when we played trivial pursuit the other night. he was an Australian chap and i was a British chica. it was cute.

so. we’ve had candlelight dinners, pretty flowers, mucho snuggling, and oh so much happiness. i’m glad to be here, sad to go home tomorrow, but i get to see him soon again. :)

nighty night, musees, i’ll write good when i get back home. heart y’all!

i did this today…

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Frank always gives me a hard time because i never put my phone on the charger, so it ends up dead a lot. this morning i made a phone call from his cordless and left it in the den, because that’s where i was when i used it.

ten minutes later, he walked into the kitchen where i was eating my fabulous pumpkin pie with perfect crust, shook the phone at me and said, “now, you may leave the phone off the charger at your house, but in my house, we return it to the cradle.”

UPDATE: he was smiling when he said it. and i withheld kisses for at least 4 minutes.

if i hadn’t already cleaned his kitchen, i’d make him wash dishes for that. meanie.

i’m not supposed to point a gun at people with my finger on the trigger?

but like, don’t i like, look all cute and stuff? and isn’t like the important thing that i’m like a cute Republican chick who like, likes guns? and like, do y’all like really think that like a 28-year old CPA who got a full scholarship to college and scored 1250 on her SATs is as stupid as y’all like, think she is?

like no! :)

thanks for the link, guys. don’t worry. Frank taught me how to shoot guns, and i’m pretty clear on gun safety rules. something about 1) don’t point a gun at anything you’re not mad at. 2) stand up straight when you’re holding a beautiful stainless steel Springfield, out of respect. 3) clean and oil your guns every now and then, at least once a year. 4) the prettiest guns are usually the loudest and most powerful, so always carry a pretty gun.

did i get them all right? ;)

now i wonder if this thing is loaded. * pow * oops, my bad. hope you didn’t like that lamp, Frank!

sorry to not wish y’all a great holiday before now; i’ve been slaving in Frank’s kitchen all day. in a related story, we’re full, i’m exhausted and my feet hurt. my reward is that we’re watching Miracle. yay hockey! i do want to say that there are so many things for which i am thankful this year, and one of them is in the other room talking to Joe Foo’ the Marine on the phone. :) i’ve been truly blessed this past year, and i can honestly say that (besides Frank) the greatest blessing has been my blog. the friends i’ve made, the healing nature of my little virtual home, and the greatest readers in the blogosphere have made these eleven months absolutely precious. thanks, y’all, for sticking around. i heart all-a y’all and am truly thankful for you. i say y’all a lot.

i’ll tell y’all about my travel day another time. what’s important is that i finally got to see Mr. Wonderful at around 11:40 last night. and when we got to his house, he had the sweetest surprises waiting for me. on the kitchen table he had two new t-shirts in my size, which i will model sometime this weekend. i immediately caught a wonderful familiar scent and then spotted the stargazer lilies on the kitchen island. sixteen of my very favorite flowers, which he’d had shipped for the occasion. not having a flower vase, Frank had put the lovely lilies in a carafe. :) quite a cute idea, actually.

when Frank had gone shopping for the groceries for today, i’d told him i need an apron that demanded he kiss me every time he entered the kitchen. :) he showed me what i would be cooking in. the grocery store only had plain white aprons, so he bought one and wrote “kiss the cook” in big block letters with a Sharpie. whatever gets me my kisses. :D he also bought me limes, because he knows i love lime in my Cokes. what. a. sweet. man.

i was gonna tell y’all about today, but i’ve got some snuggling and a hockey movie waiting for me. i don’t love y’all that much. :D

happy Thanksgiving, musees!

… and not say anything, pretend this is nothing new for me, but i’m just so baffled. John Hawkins has me linked on his sidebar? that’s a very nice Thanksgiving surprise, so welcome, RightWingNews readers (and thanks John)! i hope y’all don’t judge my blog by the recent poor blogging. i have a million excuses if you want to hear them.

speaking of hearing, i heard Switchfoot on Leno last night; they played Dare You to Move, which is on their 2nd, 3rd and 4th albums as well as the A Walk to Remember soundtrack. great song. but what was up with Jonathan Foreman’s hair last night? seriously, i couldn’t tell if his gel got the better of him or if he got his head caught in a Suck Cut.

oh, yesterday at work, i had a red sucker. it tasted funky, so i decided to try another red sucker to see if it was just that particular sucker or the whole bag. yeah, that one was the same, so i decided that they were both just nasty. didn’t keep me from finishing them off.

speaking of off, i’m off today to sunny hot & humid Florida. leaving snow to go to the beach. Frank must be pretty special.

do any of y’all eat Special K? me either. i was always put off by the chick in the white swimsuit doing the scissor kick thingy into the pool. maybe it’s the whole not liking water thing.

about water. i had a bottle of Ozarka yesterday, and i’d made fruit punch Gatorade in the same bottle. had it there in our audit room at the client’s office, and Caroline asked me what i was drinking. i told her it was the blood of audit seniors i’d worked with before. i was hoping to freak her out, but she just laughed. oh well. i’m wearing my Caroline pants today, the black ones with white pinstripes that are way cute.

speaking of pinstripes, the worst thing anyone could ever do to me is accuse me of being a Yankees fan. but Frank and cadetdid it, and i think they should pay for that one for eternity. from this day forward, i decree that the Minnesota Twix and the Florida Darlins will lose every game they play against the Yankees. shoot, Frank likes the Yankees. uhhhhh, boooooo Yankees!

i heart Twix. not as much as i heart Butterfinger, though. but Butterfinger is so stinkin’ crumbly, and it gets your audit workpapers all messy. not that i would know, i’m just sayin’.

speaking of sayin’, Bikermommy called this morning and said she’s stressed out. why, Bikermommy? because my daughter is leaving at Thanksgiving and not helping me with Thanksgiving dinner. i told her to give me a break. mmmm. KitKat.

the kitty cat is all up in my face this morning. i told her i’m going to see the mean man who put her in the lamp, and she started growling. or maybe purring. i can never tell, she purrs so loudly.

speaking of the mean man who likes to abuse kitty cats. i see Mr. Wonderful in 15 hours. now i smile.

related post from the fake sarahk

Bikermommy brought lunch to my house today so we could straighten up the house (yay clean dishes) and i could move the laundry around. after she brought the cat litter in from my car so i wouldn’t have to carry it, she made use of my facilities (the cat litter and the facilities usage are unrelated).

this afternoon, her boss asked why she was having such a hard time seeing her computer. she had to tell him why.

seems when she used my facilities, she accidentally flushed her reading glasses down the toilet.

yep, we’re related.

related post from the fake sarahk

(a special carry-the-one edition)

why can you write on an eraser? i would think that if you wrote on an eraser, the pencil mark would disappear immediately.

how ’bout it, science?

of notes to self…

dear self, never brush your hair neckid. hurt boobies.

big push to get this audit finished before i get on the plane, gotta go get glasses at lunch today, still haven’t packed, have to do a little laundry tonight and wash my dishes.

tomorrow night i go to Florida for 5 days with my sweetie, and i expect to devote very little time to y’all this weekend. :)

so i’ll blog when i have time and can pull myself away from the snuggling. i’m telling y’all. Frank? best. snuggler. ever. hands down. i’m sure he’ll do or say something, though, that i’ll need to blog about. ;) you’ll probably get lots of good tidbits, so stay tuned.

i sent Frank 3 incredibly long lists of items needed for our massive Thanksgiving feast. understand that i just don’t have it in me to have a small Thanksgiving meal; i blame Bikermommy, Grama K, and Grama Shirley. so we will be feasting. the menu:

* turkey (i’ve never cooked a turkey, btw, and we’re gonna do that Cajun Injection thing. i’m sure i’ll be fine. i’ve watched Bikermommy do it for years.)
* dressing (southern, cornbread sage dressing, not that wet bread stuff that comes out of the box, no self-respecting Texan eats that stuff)
* green bean casserole
* corn
* peas for Frank to mix with his mashed potatoes
* mashed potatoes (real ones, not instant)
* giblet gravy (i’ll probably make some w/o giblets, too, in case Frank doesn’t like them, or in case i get grossed out by the raw giblets)
* rolls
* spinach dip for snackage while i’m cooking Thursday
* Grama Shirley’s hotsauce. rather, my attempt at Grama Shirley’s hotsauce.
* pumpkin pie
* pecan pie

UPDATE: oatmeal cookies

that might be it, seems like i’m leaving something out. anyway, Frank had to buy everything for the meal. oh yeah! cranberry sauce, i left that off the list, too, but he remembered. oh no! i forgot a relish tray! eh, we won’t miss it. anyway, he had to buy everything, spices and all, even a few appliances. he called me last night to tell me he’d found every item on the list, including an apron (i love wiping my hands on my clothes while i’m cooking, quite liberating), the electric knife, the food processor. can’t make the hot sauce w/o the food processor. he was so cute. “i bought you a food processor, sweetie, just like you asked for. and the electric knife but i forgot to get batteries.” it has a cord. :) “did you get my apron so you have to kiss me every time you walk into the kitchen?” “yes, i even got you the apron.”

i’m so proud of him. this is the man who, when i visited in October, didn’t own any spice except salt and sugar. now he has poultry seasoning, sage, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, garlic, and more. and a cutting board. he has a cutting board. and a food processor. :)

can’t wait to see him. tomorrow’s the big day, and the promise (God willing) of seeing him tomorrow is what’s getting me by right now. awwwww. no, i’m serious. i’m more stressed out than i’ve been in a very long time, and the work stress doesn’t appear to be going away any time soon (read: May 2005. maybe.), and the backaches and migraines pile on too. but tomorrow night, i get off the plane, look for the cutest 25-year old engineer on the planet, hug him tight, try to kiss him (i’ll succeed with the PDA, i know i will!). then i’ll know everything’s cool, at least for five days. five days! five days of feasting, snuggling, beating Frank at Trivial Pursuit, movies, shooting guns (pow pow pow!), did i say snuggling?

ah. sustenance. sustinance. i think it’s sustenance. anyway. happy happy joy joy. can’t wait for tomorrow night. :)

related post from the fake sarahk

and Mr. Wonderful In Big Trouble conspired with Mr. Insane, and mountaineermusing.com was born. UPDATE: mountaineer musing is NSFW today. proceed with caution. shame on you, cadet. i have so much to say about this horrible betrayal, but i’m too busy working and shopping for arsenic. btw, only 1 more day till i see Frank! yay! i wonder how i’ll get back to the airport at the end of the trip… oh well, will worry about that later.

anyway, i will have an in-depth analysis of this parody site later this week. some quick clarification hits for you…

* Minerva does not steal breath from babies. my guess is she was looking over the baby to keep him safe from trolls.
* Skankette? not my best friend. just so you know. but i do wonder where cadet got that pic of me in my Bonnie Hunt glasses. i really did have those.
* i still hate the Yankees. will always always always till the end of time forevermore hate the Yankees. and the Redskins for that matter.
* i do heart Marion Gaborik from the Wild. but i otherwise am not so fond of them, and Minnesotans are not so fond of us, since we stole their Stars.
* i know how to spell mischievous. and cadet misspelled it on purpose. this time.
* my Jambalaya. not from a package.
* i look wicked good in that picture with Satan. that’s from my American Idol audition pics.
* it’s true, i’m not sorry i voted for Bush. i’m also not Risawn.
* i make my biscuits the homemade way: using Pioneer Baking Mix.
* the butchering of the lyrics i hold dear. unforgiveable. dead meat, fellas. goners.

now she’s all nice and fluffy.

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it really stinks in Amarillo today. when Caroline, Dade & i left the office after our firm Thanksgiving thing, we smelled the feed yard before we ever got to the elevators on our floor, and by the time we got outside, it was so overwhelming that i was sure i was not 5 inches from a cow’s butt. and no, Dade & Caroline are nice, so they’re not cow’s butts.

when we left the client’s office tonight, it was even worse.

that’s about all i have to say about that.

related post from the fake sarahk

just saw a new Gap commercial starring J.C. Chasez and some chick who used to be on tv. i think he was lip synching.

but when he was in ‘NSYNC (had to type that 3 times), they didn’t lip synch, at least on stage live. they messed up a whole lot, so unless they pre-recorded some mistakes and off-key notes and missed notes, i don’t think it was lip synching. and my 3 ‘NSYNC tour videos show the same thing.

sometime i’ll write the story about when Cindy and i flew to El Paso to see ‘NSYNC at the Sun Bowl. it was one of the most perfect experiences either of us ever had, made the top 5 for both of us.

i see Mr. Wonderful in 2 days! the second i get to Florida, i’m gonna hug Mr. Man, wait for him to open my car door, get in the car and go to sleep. it’ll be so nice to see him. yesterday he shopped for the Thanksgiving feast ingredients. he has to go again today, as the list is quite lengthy. i love cooking for him.

and we decided this weekend that he’s coming up here a weekend in December so i can take him to Fort Worth to meet my Sizzle and my Spidade and my big bro and my friends. so the next visit will not be so far off. yay!

speaking of counting, we passed 80,000 hits since August this weekend! y’all are the bestest! if y’all don’t stop coming around, my super-secret goal of hitting 100,000 before the end of the year will become reality! and after we hit that 100K mark, i’ll have a super-secret surprise for y’all! so super-secret, in fact, that i’ll never tell what it is. ever. :-)

UPDATE: Mr. Wonderful is sooooo dead. but cadet happy is deader. punks, botha them. i’ll have more comments on this later.

these pics are a little less creepy. but this is the story of my life. i’ll sit with my laptop in my… lap!… and here comes the bebe, has to be in on the computing action…

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read the text that follows this Cox & Forkum cartoon.

this girl on Fox & Friends Early blah blah, Ashley something? Allison something? anyway, she said she thinks P*ris H*lton is tri-grexual, meaning if it’s grex, she’ll try it.

sad, ’cause it’s true, but that was a funny way to say “P*ris H*lton is a slut.”

Mr. Powell, here’s the model i think we should use for Israel and Palestine to work together.

* Palestinians stop blowing up Jews.
* When they do blow up Jews, Israel gets to blow up someone back.

i don’t think i need to draw a road map.

btw, i’ve been to Jericho. there’s a huge sycamore tree there (HUGE), and the legend is that it’s the sycamore tree that Zaccheus climbed to get a better look at Jesus when He came through town. i don’t know if it’s really the same tree, but the tree (i think) was old enough to have been there during Biblical times.

like right on the tip of one of my nostrils. hurts every time i blow my nose.

/overshare

so i’m working right now. and i’ve got ALIAS season 2 playing for white noise purposes. i just saw/heard Part I of The Passage (2.8), and when they just arrive in India or wherever it is they go (Syd, Jack & Irina), the attendant at the ticket counter… is that Sayid from Lost? sure looks like him.

i thought she was all cute lying in the chair, looking like a sweet kitty… but after seeing the pics, i’m kinda creeped out by her.

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