i got my hair highlighted and trimmed today. man, i have gorgeous hair. i will not lie about it.
see?

do i look stoned? i think i do. but i’m not stoned. in case y’all are wondering. i’m not sure i’d know what stoned felt like, as i’ve never actually been stoned. UPDATE: i’m also not doing anything that would ever potentially get me to stoned. i’m sitting on the couch eating oyster crackers.

Adam will be singing in the wedding. this is the boy with the velvet tenor voice. awesome!

sunburn on my bum. don’t laugh. ok, laugh. i laughed when i saw it.

see, yesterday when i tanned, i wanted to make sure that my saddlebags weren’t covered by the towel that protects my tushie, because my saddlebags are my ugliest part, and i rilly rilly want those tanned. because tan fat is prettier than white fat.

apparently when i did that, i accidentally exposed the top of my tushie, which has been covered heretofore, to the UV rays. so i have the most oddly-shaped bright red pattern right where my butt meets my back.

/overshare

i’ll be telling the DJ that ALL Elvis songs are banned. i’ll throw up all over my pretty dress if Elvis is at the reception.

you know what makes all this hectic wedding planning all worth it? (besides the whole being married at the end of the day thing, because you can elope and be married at the end of the day.)

the music.

i’m getting more and more excited about the music. most of the songs in the actual ceremony are old jazz standards. plus some Elton John.

prewedding music has a mixture of Chantal Kreviazuk, Aretha Franklin, Harry Connick Jr., Partridge Family, ‘NSYNC, Toby Keith.

reception music has some Josh Groban, Eagles, John Mayer, Sinead O’Connor (and no, it’s not Nothing Compares to You), Louis Armstrong, Billy Joel, Lenny Kravitz, Switchfoot, Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton, and more.

at first i was not excited about having a dance. but now, after picking a lot of songs, i’m wondering why i ever didn’t want dancing.

and then there’s the karaoke. i know one song that will be sung, our official song. by us. we’ve been practicing, though from our dismal performance at the Pereira Halloween party, i’d say we need more practice, because we’re a bit squeaky.

the music. for me, it’s about the music. and the seeing everyone that i never get to see.

i screwed up Rachel’s blog, trying to fix a very significant problem. i found the fix last night (i think) and emailed it to her. but that doesn’t keep her from telling people exactly why her blog is down.

she’s mean.

awesome.

tonight we’re tired of turkey.

we have a completely stocked pantry (always, i’m incapable of having a bare cupboard). tons of leftovers from Thanksgiving in the fridge. but the only thing i want besides Indian food is oyster stew.

my former mother-in-law is a yankee person not from Texas, and every Christmas Eve, the tradition in that family is to have oyster stew. she said it was a tradition where she came from. ok, whatever, i love oyster stew, and i haven’t had it since Christmas Eve, 2002.

i’ve never actually made it, but i’m craving it. craving.

so i sent Frank to the store. on the list is shallots. and half and half. and other stuff. so the list i sent says

…
1/2 and 1/2 (near the milk)
shallots
…

so he gets home and says, “oh sure. send me to the store and don’t tell me what shallots are. but you assume i’ve never heard of half and half.”

maybe i did get it backwards.

i don’t know what happened today. i went out running errands, and while driving up the road, i noticed a police car behind me with his lights going. i thought i was being pulled over, so i pulled over, and he passed right by. then i noticed a caravan of 6 or more police cars coming straight up the center of the road, all passing me. 1/2 of the cars split off on one road, and the others kept going straight. later, i was driving down Palm Bay Road on my way to Pier 1, and i saw where all the officers had congregated. a Coastal Bank. they were parked all around both sides of the road, and several in the bank parking lot. several officers were walking through the parking lot of the bank, toward the front doors.

i can’t find anything on the news about what was going on.

i have these Partylite snow globes that run on batteries. there’s a tealight on top of the globe that lights the globe. the snow blows around without shaking. i can turn on the music box inside too. i love them.

those are now on. and i bought some “O Tannenbaum” scented candles and “Cinnamon and Sugar” candles at Pier 1 today. a lot of candles. that conversation went well.

SARAHK: i was really bad today. i went to Pier 1.
FRANK J.: … mmhmm …
SARAHK: i spent around fifty bucks on candles.
FRANK J.: oh. well, with shipping, i spent around forty-five on [insert video game talk here].
SARAHK: oh good!
FRANK J.: so we’re about even.

a tropical storm in the Atlantic the day before hurricane season ends. that’s just wrong.

hee! we got our comforter set and some throw pillows! i’m so excited, it’s so pretty!

the card says, “Get a dog. Uncle Geoff.”

that’s Frank’s uncle. are there no cat people in that entire family??

Sa’s husband has his first obligatory Christmas party ever. on December 10.
boo.

there’s a song by David Dickau, adapted from Shakespeare, called “If Music Be the Food of Love”. i’m trying to find the lyrics so i can know if i want that song in the wedding. that is, if i can get Adam for singing it and find the piano music for Kris.

anyone have a copy of the music and want to type the lyrics for me? i can’t remember all the lyrics. btw, this isn’t the Samantha Fox song.

ok, not to be presumptuous here, but i have a feeling we’ll get gifts at the wedding. call me crazy. we have 129 people confirmed for the wedding, plus about 15-20 that haven’t responded who i think will be there. they’re from about 50 or so different families. i have no idea what to expect as far as the bulk of gifts that will need transportation back to Florida. i imagine there will be gift cards, but i have a feeling there will be other stuff too.

so i’m not sure how to handle that. do we take a couple of empty suitcases and hope everything fits inside? and then there’s the weight thing with the airlines, where you can’t have more than 50 pounds in each suitcase…

ok, so we can plan to ship everything and leave a bunch of money with Sizzle so she can do it, since we’re leaving the next afternoon and won’t have time to package everything…
or i can fly up there, rent a car and drive back here in the week between wedding and honeymoon…
or after the honeymoon, i could drive up there and back…

probably shipping is gonna be the most cost effective, especially if we take the empty suitcases, but i guess we won’t know until after the wedding.

it’s amazing what brides think of when planning weddings. i know i should be thinking, “well, how do you know people will bring gifts? that’s so presumptuous of you!” you know. especially since i was married before. but i’m sitting here thinking logistically and realistically. people are nice. this could be an issue.

are coming along. you should see how many candles i have burning right now. Tarina gave me this awesome Pier 1 candle with a Pier 1 candleholder for Christmas last year. i’ve got the candleholder on the kitchen island, but i’d not yet burned the candle. it’s awesome, and sitting on top of one of my crystal candleholders.

i found my 6-inch snowball candle last night. it looks like a snowball and smells of peppermint. it’s sitting in this 6-inch ring of snowmen candleholder.

oh, yesterday i was thinking i should buy snowman hand towels for the front bathroom, and i opened one of my tubs, and there they were. apparently, i already bought them. i also found my stockings. funny, when i was living alone, i bought two really cute stockings. i must have been thinking future husband. but where do you hang those in Florida? are there fireplaces here? maybe they’ll hang from the kitchen bar-lookthrough thingy. that would be pretty.

today i’m cleaning all day. and decorating. i’m picking up my wedding dress at some point, then shipping that to Sizzle so she can get it pressed.

you know, those Hamilton Beach commercials all look like infomercials and annoy me significantly.

the high winds in the Metroplex (hello? i have to hear about high winds from Fox News? i’ve not heard about this from my sister?) loosened one of the cables holding up the Christmas tree in Sundance Square (downtown Fort Worth), and the 65-footer went down. no one was hurt.

Christmastime in downtown Fort Worth is always beautiful. and lots of people going to the wedding will get to see it! hooray!

aside: i went to the Dallas Morning News website for the link, as the Startlegram had been getting progressively more annoying over the years, until i finally gave up on it. but when i went to the Morning News, they called it a “holiday” tree. the Star-Telegram actually calls it what it is. congrats, Star-Telegram, you’re no longer my least favorite Metroplex paper.

not that i ever read the paper.

btw, i may have blogged this already, but when we went to Epcot & MGM with Jim & Rachel last weekend, i was thrilled that there was actually a Christmas tree up at Epcot. until i saw it up close. all over the tree were signs that said Merry Christmas in pretty much every major language. EXCEPT ENGLISH. in English, it was Happy Holidays. but you know what “holiday” had an actual mention on there? Joyous Kwanzaa, everyone.

in light of this post, the evil fake sarahk has decided to remind us all which accountant blogger bounced a check to the State Board of Public Accountancy.

but that’s just another thing that makes me not boring. right?

the least expected subject line from my weekly CPA spam arrived in my mailbox today. each week, i get the CPA Insider newsletter and usually delete after i scan the boring, business-related headlines.

hey. there’s a reason i don’t watch the Apprentice. there is nothing more boring to me than business. especially when brought to you by dry accountant-types. because really. what accountant actually has the time to write these newsletters? my guess is the sole-practitioner tax-types. (no offense intended to you tax-types who aren’t boring like most of the tax-types i know.) i don’t know for sure that it’s the tax-types, but most auditors (financial statement, not IRS) i know are far from boring, and most of these newsletter articles would as soon bake you a tasty pecan pie as have any kind of joke within. plus, auditors are far more overworked than tax nerds gurus.

ok, maybe the erstwhile auditor in me is a tad biased. there’s also a reason i’m a housewife now (other than the fact that Frank is the greatest man on the planet)!

anyway, so i got an email with the subject “Blog, Blog, Blog” from my weekly spamletter. and it’s the top article! i almost fell off the couch. i’ll bet my old boss in Amarillo had a heart attack when he saw his spamletter contained the word “blog”. probably sent the AICPA a nasty letter at that, then printed out the email and personally took it to the shredder.

of course, the accountant blogs discussed in the article sound like boring, business-type blogs (i didn’t check myself, because my eyes glazed over just reading the descriptions, no offense, but see the above paragraph about how business is boring), but i’m just so tickled that an accountant said “blog” in public without apologizing!

i finally booked the wedding cakes today, hooray. they’re going to be really good, and everyone at the wedding better like them! and the groom’s cake will have a 1911 on it. :-D

i also went to Hallmark and bought the world’s ugliest shoes. my massage lady (Vickie, the Florida one) told me about them. i think i bought the Cayman style. anyway, they’re ugly as all get-out, but i don’t care, because they’re fantastically comfy. i’m hoping they help with the foot problem. i shopped in them for 2 hours, and no pain, so i’m thinking i’m going to like these hideous shoes. i think you’d call this color putty.

i bought the programs today. now i just have to figure out what i want them to say.

i just made my appointment with Mary for the week i’m in Fort Worth! woohoo!

here’s one part of our conversation:
MARY: on such-n-such date, i have an 8:00.
SARAHK: mmhmm?
MARY: does that work for you?
SARAHK: no!

and another:
MARY: so what do you want, an hour?
SARAHK: yeah. well, you know us. better make it an hour and a half.

HOORAY!!

UPDATE: oh yeah. Mary’s my massage therapist from way back when. i haven’t seen her since December 2004.

yesterday evening at worship, the preacher said, “if you can get on a plane and fly to Texas… then you know God is real.” (he might have said “fly to Texas and back”, but i don’t like the “and back” part.) i said, “amen!”

also, i got up to go to the bathroom at some point. when i walked back into the auditorium, the preacher was in mid-sentence, but the part that he said right as i walked in was, “shake your money-maker.”

i gave him such a hard time for that. Frank threatened to punch him too.

in January. it’s pretty much decided that i’m not going back to traditional work, though i am renewing the CPA license, in case Frank gets tired of me sitting at home.

i’ll be editing the IMAO podcast, which will be back on a strict weekly schedule starting in January, when we don’t have wedding stuff going on. i’ll also still be working as Frank’s editor (i edited his newest short story this weekend, and editing is so much fun!). it’s especially great because he likes my ideas and incorporates them. yesterday he reworked an entire section of the story after my pass-through. and it was better after (we both thought so anyway). that was one of those things i always wanted to do… and Frank seems to like me doing that for him, so yay! and it’s particularly sweet that i really enjoy the author’s writing. his latest story is a lot of fun, i think he should write a whole novel around it. that man is so stinkin’ talented.

i’d really love to get back into the jewelry-making. making the jools for my wedding has me itching to get back into it. i already have a ton of supplies, and i found a new online supplier who has even better prices than my previous supplier (who is no longer in business. too bad, i really liked her.). buying supplies at Michaels won’t work if i want to make any money doing it. anyway, i figure i’ll make stuff and sell it on ebay.

i’m also still considering Pampered Chef. that’s something i would have a lot of fun doing.

so i dunno.

we went shooting Saturday. it was so much fun!! because shooting is fun!!

i fired my carry gun one-handed for the first time ever (ok, i fired one-handed period for the first time ever), and i’m really proud of the results! wow, shooting left-handed feels weird to a righty.

the guns we fired:

(more…)

that the lady that fires herself is the lady who played Profit’s secretary in the TV show Profit?

i’ve decided that i’m decorating this year. i didn’t last year, because i was getting ready to move. or maybe i did, i don’t remember. i don’t think i did. the year before that, my apartment was so pretty! ok, so our housesitters will get the most out of the decorations, because we’ll be gone for a lot of December. but i don’t care!

see, when i divorced the Psycho, he cleaned out the house and took all the furniture, electronics, etc. even took my beautiful, etched cake stand, the rat [stinkybutt] (i got that back). but before he cleaned out the house, i got out all the decorations, and my 7 tubs of Christmas decorations. and i do have the coolest decorations! a ton of Partylite stuff (including practically the entire Snowbell collection), and this awesome velvet beaded Christmas tree skirt that i found at Sam’s for like $20 a few years ago. and i have the prettiest angel for decorating the top of the tree (Walmart, three bucks).

i’m even going to find the prettiest 6-7 foot Frasier Fir and decorate it. i’ll buy it first, of course. can you see me in Lowe’s with my tubs of ornaments and my velvet Christmas tree skirt, just decorating my own little corner of the garden section? not really sure where i’m gonna put the tree after i get it home… maybe in the corner of the great room where the pool cues are. i can move those to this other little wall. i do all white lights, or all red and white, depending on my mood. ornaments mostly red, white, gold, and silver. i have these awesome gold, white and silver snowflakes that Sa and i got at Target a few years ago (4 for $1). i love those.

i’ve also been cleaning like mad, though truthfully, i’ve been avoiding the kitchen. i’m afraid of it after the Thanksgiving craziness. but that will have to be cleaned today, as i must decorate the table.

ok, i have a ton of lighted garland, and un-lighted garland, and we have a million plant ledges. i’ve already decorated the bar that looks through from the kitchen to the great room. lighted garland, my Bakery Carolers tealight thingy, the Snowbell stuff, my Marquis (by Waterford) Christmas tree candy dish… it’s so pretty!

i’ve got pretty candle rings, this wicked cool jingle bell cluster thingy that hangs on the door. oh! my wreaths! awesome wreaths! i have one made entirely of pine cones. several that i’ve made myself, and diddly-do, i am good at that. i have this holly leaf “tea set” (candle holders, of course). i’ve already had to yell at Sydney for it.

i have an angel hurricane shade… ok, i’m only through 3 tubs, so i have no idea what i’m gonna find in the other 4.

whee! this is going to be fun! it’s like Christmas, getting all this new stuff out!

i’ve always hated that stupid kitty! Daddy pays her so much attention! i’ll smash her once and for all!

mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! victory is mine!

(context)

oh dear, i’ve learned some basic photoshopping… it’s a good thing i’m lazy, or the evil fake sarahk would be in big trouble.

i bought my laptop in January 2004 and thought for sure that i bought a 1-year warranty with it.

recently, i got a thing in the mail from Circuit City telling me that my Circuit City warranty runs out January 2006 and i should buy another warranty. i totally thought it ran out in 2005.

now i can get it fixed. now when Frank and i both want to write, we don’t have to be in separate rooms. we can both be on laptops, wherever. (i can’t be on the laptop sitting in the den where the desktop PC is until it is clean.)

yay!

i’ll be going to see my friends at Circuit City this week and don’t have to pay Sony a ridiculous amount to fix one teeny little part.

i slaved today over a feast. it was goooood. we’re waiting for the pumpkin and pecan pies right now ( i prefer to do them a little later so we can really focus… … okay, maybe it’s because i ran out of time and was really hungry and ready for football at 4:00.).

every Thanksgiving, i think of male anatomy. once upon a time, my crazy mom said something about male anatomy being attractive. my dad’s Aunt Judy said, “sure, if you like turkey necks and gizzards.” so now, every time i see the giblet parts boiling, i think of male parts and giggle.

we’re still in the 3rd quarter of the Cowboys game right now, because we started about 45 minutes late (we had Episode III on and wanted a delay so we could fast forward through all the talky-talk) and have been interrupted multiple times for conversations with family (a welcome interruption).

my Grama called earlier to get the web address where she could find pictures of my brother’s precious baby so she could brag and show the rest of the family her great-grandbaby.

OK, MR. WONDERFUL IS THE WONDERFULLEST.

first, this morning i sent him to the store for 4 items. he came home with 5. he brought me flowers. he said, “i got you flowers. because flowers are pretty, and you’re pretty.”

there’s more. i was putting the feast away recently (cleaned out the fridge last night so i would have room), and i found the wishbone. so i brought the wishbone to Mr. Wonderful, and he and i both made wishes. i think we divided it exactly equally, he thinks he got more fat & meat attached, so he’s sure he won. i’m thinking we both get our wishes… ok, so what was my wish?? that we’d be completely debt-free. mortgage, car, wedding, everything. ok, and what was his wish??

that my feet would stop hurting.

he’s the bestest. man. ever. i love my Monkey Face so much.

today has been horrible on my feet. these days, i can be on my feet for an hour, max, before they start really hurting. i don’t know how i spent 12 hours at Epcot Saturday. after 4 or 5 hours in the kitchen, with cushiony house shoes, cushiony flops w/ socks, etc… i feel like i’ve just hiked 7 miles uphill out of the Grand Canyon, maybe worse, and i’m not exaggerating. and that’s how i feel most days after 1 or 2 hours. toward the end of the cooking today, i was sitting on a step ladder next to the stove so i could finish making those sweet rolls that we love so much. sitting on the same ladder trying to make a pecan pie; i finally gave up and decided to make the pecan pie later, which is now, and oh, i can’t wait to eat it and the pumpkin pie. they’re in the oven together, making sweet love.

i’ve been trying to keep my feet elevated above my heart, just like when i hike the Canyon. every hour, put the feet up above the heart for 5 or 10 minutes, and you feel so much better. right now, maybe it’s helping, maybe not. i’m in a lot of pain.

but it’s Thanksgiving, my very favorite holiday. i love it so much, so i can’t be sad, or even annoyed. i might whine a lot, but i have so much to be thankful for… what a year. insane, right? whodathunk.

oh, the kitties have been the cutest and the sweetest today. i keep looking at Minerva and giggling and remembering when i brought her home, and i was the only one she didn’t hiss at that day. i just picked her up, she hissed slightly once, and then purred as i petted her and held her close to my heart. my bebe. and purr-purr has been so adorable. she even almost meowed once or twice.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. it’s been a great day here.

do y’all close your eyes in the shower? Frank says he does. me? never ever. that’s giving someone a free pass to sneak up on you and stab you with a butcher knife without you having a chance to even see it coming. me, i’d rather see it coming so i can say, “bad idea, bringing a knife to a gun fight.” you know, right before i shoot the attacker. not that i bring a .45 (Mr. Shiny, of course) to the shower with me when i’m home alone. only some paranoid maniac would see a point in such a thing.

it is really cool, though, unloading a gun right after you shower. your whole body smells like soap, but your hands smell like gun oil for a while. that’s awesome.

not that i’d know. because you know, i’m not a paranoid maniac. really i’m not.

i almost forgot to get pickled okra for tomorrow’s relish tray. Thanksgiving is not Thanksgiving without a relish tray. i have pickles (sweet and dill) and olives (green and black). but pickled okra is what i look for on the relish tray. oooh. pickled baby corn too. and maybe marinated artichoke hearts.