i’ve passed the half-million mark. yay me!

Uhhhhh… I’m hosting this week! So everyone please please send in recipes to recipe dot carnival at gmail dot com. I have no theme. So just send in whatever. Get them in by Saturday, I think.

in our back yard. it didn’t smell that way this morning. maybe it’s the dog poo. and there is so much of it. or maybe it’s that it wasn’t hot this morning, and the afternoon heat has brought out the smell of whatever dead animal is rotting back there. all i know is it’s getting harder and harder to inhale when i take Rowdi out. every 5 minutes.

I’m really not as bad a dog mommy as most of you think I am. I’ve taken over a thousand pictures since the wedding, and the ones of the dog are the only ones I already have uploaded and in gallery form. It’s just that I need to upgrade the gallery software before I post the gallery. I don’t even have the cat pics ready. That’s saying something. So any of you out there who are feeling all self-righteous because I’m moaning and groaning about how we spend about $300 per month in vet visits for a dog that we got 3 months ago — y’all can suck an egg while jumping in a lake.

I hope they figure out what’s wrong with her. If they give me yet another solution of “here, try more steroids”, I’m taking her straight to the holistic vet. That’s right, I said it. Holistic vet. While we’re on the subject, I cook for her too. Thinking about moving to the raw food diet but don’t have enough info yet. But I figure cooked chicken and rice and broccoli is safe. Even though she threw up the broccoli this morning. She also threw up carrots from 2 days ago, but after seeing the carrots in the poo the other day, I’m not giving her those any more. Anyway, I boil the chicken. Yesterday I roasted a big pork butt for her for later in the week. I boil the vegetables. The rice (which I didn’t give her yesterday). And I cut it all up into little pieces so it doesn’t get caught in her digestive tract, since she doesn’t bother to chew her food.

Anyway, whenever the dog is sick, the vet always tells us to feed her boiled chicken and rice, so I doubt that the chicken did it. BTW, did you know that you can only get 2 chicken and broccoli meals from a whole chicken?

But I’m not putting her back on that horrible dog food with all those non-food products inside. I’m sure for some dogs it’s great, but I don’t really think she’s been that healthy since we got her from the shelter, and the first place I’m starting is the food.

She probably has doggie cancer and they just didn’t bother to tell us when we adopted her. The previous owners probably found out from their vet (if they had one) that she had cancer, so they took her to the shelter hoping she could get adopted out.

And maybe I’m just worrying too much. Maybe she’s got hookworms again. Or maybe the water in the ponds at the dog spa has a parasite in it.

I just ordered something online from CompUSA for in-store pickup. About 10 minutes ago. It’s already ready for pickup. Now if only I can leave the dog alone in the car for 5 minutes, I can pick it up on the way to the vet or on the way home.

Rowdi has bloody diarrhea. And dark, tarry diarrhea. And she’s puking. And she’s burping so hard that her whole body shakes when she belches.

She’s running to the door every 20-30 minutes. So pitiful.

The vet doesn’t have open appointments today. They have to work her in as an urgent care, hopefully around 3 today.

I really need a shower, but I can’t leave her alone for that long, she’s so pathetic.

And yes, I keep thinking about how much today’s vet visit is going to cost. Just when I think I’m going to get to spend our grocery money on anything but the dog. But Frank will have more birthdays.

this post could alternately be titled, “I’m an idiot.”

_Jon is helping me fix my laptop. The hard drive is not cooperating. So in the instructions he sent me, in the very first step he refers to the “LT hard drive”. Of course, my first question to him was “what’s an LT hard drive?”

LT… LT… what in the world could LT have to do with a laptop… LT… LapTop.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

seriously. i love this house. it’s great. however.

i hate living in Florida. great place to vacation and not pay state income tax, but it’s horrible to live here. and for me, it’s all about the weather. if it weren’t so humid that you feel like someone is trying to suffocate you every time you open the door to go outside, it wouldn’t be so bad. we’re in a nice community, 20 minutes from the beach, and at most an hour from the touristy spots (plus 45 minutes from the cruise port). but the weather is unbearable. maybe i got spoiled living in Amarillo, where at my company picnic, the girls were complaining about the humidity when it was at 15%. that was heaven. or maybe those vacations to the Grand Canyon, where it feels better in the inner canyon in the heat of the day than it feels here at 10 a.m.

anyway, the house. since going outside is nigh to death, and since i don’t like going other places where there are people (seriously, the rude old men who shop at Home Depot are enough to keep me shut-in), i’m in the house most of the time. and i have to do something about it. i hate the white walls, they make me feel claustrophobic and exposed at the same time. everywhere i look is white.

anyway, i’ve come to the sad realization that we’re going to be in this wretched state longer than i want to be. and that’s fine, but if i’m going to be inside all day, i have to fix the walls.

so i picked out colors for the master bathroom, and today i dragged myself to Home Depot (where the rude old men hang out - come on, Gramps, if i move over and stand back so you can see the machine screws, too, don’t get up in front of me and stand two inches from the display so i can’t see, when i was nice enough to let you in!! jerkface.). anyway, i bought paint, rollers, a drop cloth, tape, trays, all that stuff. dangit, forgot the paint stirring sticks. so i’ll make sure to do before and after pictures. it won’t be finished until i get the new towels and accessories. but i’m excited. after the bathroom, i’ll be moving on to the bedroom. then the great room, where we spend all of our time. hmm, i wonder if i should have done the room we spend the most time in first.

eh, no matter. i can just go sit in the bathroom when i need to feel warmth. not stifling, suffocating warmth. cozy warmth.

Rowdi knows it’s not ok to bite mommy. Oh, she’ll do it. She’ll mouth me and touch me lightly with her teeth. But now, instead of looking at me like, “Your move, wicked witch,” she just drops to the ground and puts her head down like, “Whoops, didn’t mean to do that. Certainly not to the mommy.”

So I don’t yell at her or bite her back anymore. She knows. Don’t mess with the alphamom.

Previously on 24, Aaron verbally kicked President Estro in the nads, Estro tried to have Aaron killed, but Marty saved his life by killing his would-be secret service killer. Estro suicided Walt Cummings. Bierko escaped CTU’s transport and threw a nerve-gas canister into a submarine, which just happened to be in an L.A. civilian port being inspected by U.S. navy personnel as a part of the treaty that was signed less than a day earlier, because those treaties work *so* fast. Bierko took over the sub. To catch Bierko, Robocop was offered a deal, and Jack took him with him to the submarine, though we would all rather have Rico Suave for the op. Turns out, there are 12 warheads on the sub that the terrorists want to use for an attack on the U.S.
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Sydney, who was your pick to win American Idol?
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Sounds good to me.

Group song with all of the top 12 + Carrie Underwood. They’re singing “I’ve Made it Through the Rain”, which is almost as bad as last year’s “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother”. No no. Nothing could ever be that painful. I’m having a seizure just thinking about it. They’re completely in white, which is unfortunate. Every time Carrie Underwood or Taylor sings, everyone cheers real loud.

And now we have the first of many montages. It’s funny, though. They showed Randy saying the same four Randyisms over and over. On Paula, it’s her being emotional (playing “I Get So Emotional” in the background, LOL) and being drunk. For Simon, it’s The Ego Has Landed. Cute. Simon can have an ego, though. He’s the only one who ever has anything to say, and he is all that.
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seriously. 20 days late on your water bill (because when i tried to pay it online, i couldn’t find my purse, so i forgot about it), and they cut off your water? while you’re in the middle of brushing your teeth? with no warning?

20 days late. i’ve never ever heard of a utility company cutting off your utilities for being 20 days late. it’s not like i’m chronically late or 3 months behind. 20 days late.

I think I blogged about the Zach Braff / Natalie Portman movie Garden State before. It’s weird and fairly slow. But we LOVE the part where they meet in the neurologist’s office, and she has seen him in a movie where he played a retarded football player, and she’s asking him, “Are you really retarded?” Anyway, it goes on from there.

In the neurologist’s office, she’s wearing this kind of soft foamy helmet. He asks her why, and she first makes up something about her boyfriend is on his way to pick her up on his motorcycle. Eventually, she tells him that she is required to wear the helmet at work, because she has seizures, and the company doesn’t want a lawsuit if she hits her head while convulsing. Or something like that.

So of course, when Frank and I walked out of my neurologist’s office Monday, we were joking about how my EEG was terrible compared to all the others the doc showed me, Frank said, “I guess I’ll have to get you a helmet. Like that girl in Garden State.” I laughed so hard and said, “You HAVE to get me that movie!”

So it arrived today. :-) My funny hubby. Oh, and then he tells my mother about the helmet. And then when I’m talking to my mom today, she says that her phone is terribly staticky. “Maybe it’s the electricity in your head coming through the phone and messing up mine.” So I told her that next time we talk, I’ll make sure to wear my helmet so I don’t screw up her reception.

And I’d just like to say that I know this is funnier to me than it is to anyone else. And in the morning when I’m not so tired, I’ll read this and wonder why I felt compelled to post it.

Don’t know why I’m so excited. I know I’m voting for Taylor unless Katharine pulls out something I’ve never heard from her. Taylor is definitely the most talented, and I don’t care how spastic he is. Really, I’m not watching him when listening to his CD. Then again, if they’re both boring and safe, I may not vote.

Simon looks suave in his nice jacket. Paula and Randy have meaningless nothings to say, and Simon says each should hope the other forgets the words.

They’re showing the Bad Day stuff for both contestants, since neither one gets it tomorrow night.

BTW, sorry about 24. I’ll get to it tomorrow. Today I had lots going on. (more…)

Thanks, Mary Katharine, you’re so kind to send people my way.

People: I’m almost done, I promise. I’m blogging it at IMAO and then I’ll paste here. It’s easier to blog it first there and then move it here than the other way around. I hope you understand.

the yard people who mow all the lawns unevenly and leave the grass so high that it’s too long the next day come on Tuesday. around 8 a.m. I start hearing the weed eater buzz.

i wish they’d start at someone else’s house and come here around 10, 11, 2 p.m. the buzzing this early in the morning is painful.

Frank J.’s reaction to my new banner:

FRANK J.: Funny, Rowdi, the dog you hate, made it into the banner…
SARAHK: OH! YOU didn’t make it into the banner!

so… um… i’ll be revising again. doggone.

i cried at the end of ALIAS. i’m so sad it’s over. i’m really gonna miss it. there was only one person’s end in the series finale that i wasn’t pleased with - why was Sydney begging Irina to come back? she always falls for that evil whore mother of hers.

i liked the way it all ended.

more later.

I totally called that. You NEVER say “I’ll be right back.” And you CERTAINLY don’t say it twice. And I did say exactly who would be behind that door.

BTW, I decided to take tonight off from 24 blogging. I didn’t want the 2-hour season finale to take us 4 hours to watch, because um… ALIAS series finale tonight. WHOA! Special guest star Merrin Dungey, are you kidding? Didn’t she die? Twice?

I’ll get to blogging 24 tomorrow some time. But you know, I’ve got cleaning, dog training, a massage, and probably a few seizures on the way tomorrow, so it might not be early.

Ok, so the neurologist showed me a normal EEG. Then he showed me several EEGs where the patient had seizures. Then he showed me mine. Mine was way worse than the others he showed me (is that his way of trying to make me feel better?). During the EEG, I apparently had seizures every second or every 2 seconds. The entire time, too. Not just during hyperventilation or the light tests. While I was sleeping, too.

Anyway, since we caught them early, they’re very controllable, and the med that keeps me from having the seizures also keeps the seizures from progressing (something about the short-circuiting neurons can’t recruit more neurons).

So it’s just an electrical problem.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

And thanks to my monkeyfaced sweetie for going with me for moral support. It was good to have someone to laugh with about the fact that my EEG was way worse than the others. And it was nice for Frank to hear that the seizures make me really tired — now I’m not just lazy, it’s the seizures!

Plus he held my hand and stuff. Ok, yeah, that was the best part.

Oh! BTW. The MRI of my pituitary showed that I don’t have a tumor? The doc wasn’t buying that, because I had a tumor last year, and my growth hormone production is so low. So they’re having the films sent over and will let me know. Weird.

Very relaxing, today.

I (sorta) got over the whole “abnormal EEG” thing and decided it’s (maybe) nothing life-threatening. I mean, the doc’s office is waiting a whole business day to see me on it. Lisa at the doc’s office said I’m having “seizure activity” and the doc just wants to see me to put me on a med to control it. She told Frank it’s nothing so serious it can’t wait till Monday. The next business day. So of course I’m still fighting myself and going back and forth on whether the doc’s gonna give me worse news. But I’ll be ok.

I was ready for bed by 8:30 last night. After staying up all night, I was so sleepy but couldn’t sleep because of the EEG thing, so I only got about a half hour nap all day yesterday. Worked on blog changes and a new banner for the blog, but it’s not quite finished.

We were in bed by 10. This morning, we got up super early so we could be at the pond party by 8:00. There were probably 50 dogs there this morning. Rowdi had a blast and came home tired. Yay!

I slept most of the day while Frank walked the dog and played video games. Then I felt good enough to snark an ALIAS, so now I only have 3 left to do before Monday night. Whew!

I think we’ll watch a movie this evening and go to bed early.

So I’m really behind and want to get all caught up before Monday’s 2-hour season finale.

Previously on ALIAS: Prophet 5 is bad and has people planted in 12 different governments, the Prophet 5 guy says Nadia will be cured soon and won’t tell Sloane when, because he has one more mission for Sloane. Irina delivered Sydney’s baby while Jack watched. And Vaughn came back to life in a monastery in Bhutan.
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insert expletive of choice here. i mean, sort of. make it a mild expletive, i guess. because it would be nice to know what’s wrong with me and whether that’s causing all my troubles. better than just wondering why i feel the way i feel. then again. abnormal EEG results. that means abnormal brain waves. abnormal brain activity. something is wrong with my brain. which can mean:

The two sides of the brain show different patterns of electrical activity. This may indicate a problem in one area or side of the brain.

The EEG shows sudden bursts of electrical activity (spikes) or sudden slowing of brain waves in the brain. These abnormal discharges may be caused by a brain tumor, infection, injury, stroke, or epilepsy.

A disorder affecting the entire brain—such as drug intoxication, infections (encephalitis), or metabolic disorders (such as diabetic ketoacidosis) that upset the chemical balance in the body, including the brain—may produce these kinds of abnormalities.

The EEG shows delta waves or an excess of theta waves in adults who are awake. These results may indicate brain injury.

The EEG shows no electrical activity in the brain (a “flat” or “straight-line” EEG). This indicates that brain function has stopped…

ok, well hopefully i’m ok on that last one. :-)

and i don’t get to find out what “abnormal” means until Monday, but apparently it’s bad enough that the doc wants to see me right away. i mean, i left the hospital at 9:30, and the neurologist’s office called at 11.

so after no sleep last night, i don’t think i’ll get much before Monday either. it’s very scary to think there’s something wrong with my brain - i mean besides the fact that i’m a goofy-goof. and besides the pituitary tumor.

btw, that’s a weird test. there’s eye’s closed, eyes opening and closing, eyes closed and different strobe lights flashing (one of those, my head jerked - i was fully expecting the light, it felt like an involuntary reflex). then they tell you to hyperventilate. i can’t remember for sure, but i think that was 2 minutes. then i got to go to sleep for a few minutes.

comments are off. no phone calls please, i’m going to try to sleep. i’ll fail, but i’ll try.

UPDATE: my wonderful hubby called the neurologist’s office so i wouldn’t cry all weekend worrying i’m gonna have brain surgery. turns out, the EEG confirmed seizure activity. controllable with meds. i’m ok.

::sigh:: So the AICPA lost a harddrive with member names, addresses, and social security numbers. When Frank first told me about it over the phone, I was hoping they just lost my address and email address, because they send so much spam and snailspam that I’d love to be off the mailing list. Alas, internal controls were sidestepped, and they can’t find the harddrive.

At least a reportable condition (override of controls). Possibly a material weakness, especially if I were auditing and if my SSN is included on the harddrive.

BTW, have I mentioned recently that I LOVE not being a CPA anymore? Housewifery rocks.

SARAHK: Don’t look at my butt. It’s huge.
FRANK J.: I like looking at your butt.
SARAHK: It’s huge.
FRANK J.: That makes it easier to see.

it is so hard to go to bed at 10 and wake up at midnight. i don’t think i’ll have any trouble staying awake in the EEG. make that going to sleep in the EEG, which is what they want. shouldn’t be a problem. actually making it to the dog spa and then to the hospital for the test? might be less of a sure thing.

say, did y’all know it’s super-smoky-smelling outside right now? how could you know that, you’re not in Brevard county. anyway, it is, i just took the dog outside, and it smells like someone’s thrown a big brisket on the smoker.

only 10 hours or so until i can sleep. yeah, i guess i’m getting old, because this not sleeping thing is no longer my idea of fun.

high-speed parking lots… just saw on Fox News that there was a teacher’s aide arrested in Dallas for leading police on a high-speed chase. what i want to know is where did this woman find a road in Dallas that allowed her to go fast around dusk? LBJ is usually still a parking lot by then.

puppy is barking in her sleep… she’s so cute. i’m so sad that she’s not having fun at the doggie spa today. but she’ll get to have fun tomorrow. and Saturday we’ll take her to a pond party. if we get up on time.

easier blogging… i turned off the WYSIWYG editor in wordpress, so it’s much easier to blog now. truth is, that thing is not worth the hassle. i was always having to open the HTML editor to fix my posts, and blockquotes were ridiculous. i only turned it off because it conflicted with the gallery plugin i installed, but i should have turned it off long ago. i can’t get the gallery plugin to work yet, but i’m much happier without the WYSIWYG.

new Euro pillows… to go in my Euro shams for the bed came today. yay! i ordered them from Linens ‘n Things (thanks to whoever suggested i try there - i can’t remember who it was, but i’m sure you’ll tell me), and they’re perfect sham stuffers. and now the bed outfitting is complete.

that’s all i’ve got for now. i’ve got a ton of ALIAS blogging to do.

I got a letter from my former endocrinologist’s office.

You were scheduled in our office on 4-28-06 for an appointment with Dr. Dhruv. Unfortunately you
(x) Did not show for the appointment.
(x) Cannot be reached by phone.

Um, who didn’t show? And I’ve told two different members of her staff that I would be changing doctors, so I don’t exactly feel the need to return her office’s phone calls anymore. That decision was made when I didn’t receive a personal call from the doc herself within a day of her standing me up. And now they’re putting this on me?

And if that’s not enough to get the adrenaline pumping, there’s this part:

We kindly ask for a 24 to 48 hour notice if you are unable to keep your appointment.

Yah. Me too. Next time you’re going to not show up, how ’bout giving me a call ahead of time so I don’t waste an hour of my day. K?

And then the letter is signed by the absolute most incompetent member of Dr. Dhruv’s staff. Tenika. I can’t believe that girl still has a job with her client service skills (not to mention her ineptitude with a butterfly needle and her persistence in digging around in people’s arms with said needles).

Add it all together, and I had to make a phone call. Actually, as soon as I saw the part about “Did not show for the appointment”, I had the phone in hand. And y’all know me, I avoid the phone. I called and asked to leave a message for the dr. (I mean, come on, what’s the chance this woman would actually be available to talk to an actual patient?). And I told them that I’d like 24 to 48 hours notice the next time the doc’s not gonna show for my appointment.

But to put it on me?? Livid.

As soon as I hung up the phone? Migraine. Thanks, Dr. Dhruv. Perhaps dropping one of the millions of titles off your plate would help you actually attend to your patients. First do no harm. Second, no negligence?