When you’re not kicking Mommy’s bladder, you’re using it for a pillow. When you’re older, I will hold this over your head to get you to clean your room or do the dishes. “Why do I have to clean my room?” “Because my bladder still hasn’t recovered from you. And because I said so.”

Love, Ma

So I went to Babies R Us yesterday to beat my head against the wallregister for the t-shirt baby. I walked around w/ my new grinding hips (yeah, it’s hard to walk now, there’s limping involved, and yes, I’ve called the doctor) and scanned a bunch of stuff for the registry. I got through furniture, bedding, and gear in an hour and a half, and then I decided that was enough for one day. Mainly it just hurt to walk and it was getting-home time.

Annnnyway, I filled out the forms and such to make my registry available online. Mainly so I can go back and look and see what the heck I registered for, research it all to make sure it doesn’t have horrible reviews and ratings, etc.

So today I look at the registry, and every single item says it’s available in-store only. LIARS. I went and searched for some of the things I registered, and they’re all available online. So that’s annoying. And they must have entered my password wrong, because I can’t even get in to edit the thing.

So while I’m waiting for my password to reset, I’m looking over the list of “must-haves” that they give you when you register. Let’s go over a few.

Strollers: It says I “must have” a travel system, a full-size stroller, an umbrella stroller, a jogging stroller, a convenience stroller, stroller toys, stroller netting, a weather shield, and a stroller blanket.

First off, five strollers? And just where would I store all of these strollers? I’d have to rent a storage unit just for strollers. I’ve registered the travel system and the jogging stroller, because I think those really are pretty necessary. The jogging stroller was the very first thing I registered, because you know, I have ambitions that I will exercise sometime in the first year after Buttercup comes. Maybe. One of my wonderful readers mentioned the travel system as being super-handy, and yeah, I think I need that. I registered an extra base so we can easily switch the car seat part of the travel system between cars when needed. I’ll register the umbrella stroller, because my SIL recommends it. But after a jogger, a travel system, and an umbrella stroller, I really don’t see how I’m gonna need a full-size stroller. And what’s a convenience stroller? I just assumed the umbrella stroller was the convenience stroller.

Stroller toys. Are they different from regular toys? I don’t know. Stroller netting. If we still lived in Florida, I’d be all over this. But we don’t, so I think we’ll go without. Right? Is this something I need? I don’t know, but it sounds superfluous. Weather shield. I can actually see this as being handy, but since I’ve never actually seen a stroller with a weather shield out in public, as parents tend to use lots of blankets to protect the babies from the elements, I don’t think I need one. Also, I live in the desert. Stroller blanket. Is this different from regular blankets? I don’t know.

Baby stuff is hard.

We’ll do more of this later. Again, Buttercup is not yet here, so I can’t be considered a mommy blogger yet. You can call me a pregnancy blogger if you must. That’s fair.

Yeah, so I’m trying to register for baby things.

Which is impossible. Too many choices! Too many items! I know I don’t need all of it, but I know I need some of it! After hours of research and browsing, I’ve registered cloth diapers and a jogging stroller. So at least she’ll have something to wear on her bum, and I’ll be able to exercise.

All the other decisions are just too hard. Maybe I should just pay someone to do it for me. Or tell Frank, “Here ya go, dude. If you make the wrong decisions, your child’s safety is in jeopardy. Good luck!”

HE: Hey, those are *my* Doritos!
ME: You handed them to me!
HE: I did?
ME: Yes, I reached out for them, and you just handed them right to me.
HE: Wow, you must have me trained like Pavlov’s dog or something. I don’t even remember that.

She starts out sucking her thumb, then stops, then she looks angry. Her little fists clench up, her eyes close (is it too early for eyelids? I dunno)–I think she’s sneezing. Which is probably impossible, so maybe a really violent hiccup? I dunno. Anyway, she shakes her head afterward, and then the whole screen starts shaking, because I am laughing at her head shake. She’s too much, I can’t take how cute she is.

Princess Buttercup Fleming. Or at least that’s what Frank is calling her. And for purposes of the blog, she will be Princess Buttercup. At least for now.

Today I’m 18.5 weeks, and we had our 2nd ultrasound this afternoon. She was just precious. She kicked a lot, slept on her left hand like I do (*sob*), shook her head (the overwhelming awesomeness of that almost KILLED me), sucked her thumb, coughed (or maybe hiccuped), gave us a thumbs up, and waved her arms around. Yeah, I cried the whole time.

One day, I’ll upgrade my wordpress so I can have a nice little button for posting videos. I’ll have to edit the pics before I can post them.

Pregnancy update:

Well, it started with me sleeping all the time. Then I finally started getting my energy back, and the migraines started hitting hard. Aspirin-free Excedrin kicks most of them, but then I get massive, 3-day-long migraines that can’t be kicked without real meds. So the doc prescribed Midrin for those cases. I’ve only had to take that once since I got it a week ago. He says the headaches should taper off by about week 20, so if they don’t, I’ve promised to bug him about them. Some of them are as bad as the first ones I had 7 years ago. Killah.

The intestinal misery continues on, though it’s not as bad as it was.

Heartburn. I haz it. Rather, it has me. Thank goodness for Sprouts papaya enzymes.

I don’t remember if I told y’all about the baby moving around. I’ve been feeling her since I was 13 weeks in, which is way early for a first pregnancy, especially in overweight women. At first, I just felt really fast vibrations. Now I feel all kinds of movement, and I started being able to distinguish kicks this week. Right now she’s shifting around a lot–apparently she can’t get comfy.

I have a definite bump. Love it. I’m in maternity clothes now, because, you know, things are really tight around the belly. I’ve only gained 1 pound, which makes me think my goal of 10-15 pounds is actually doable! So that’s been nice. Good baby.

I’m almost ready to start painting the nursery. We’re going with a jungle theme. Realistic-ish, not cartoonish. I’m going to TRY to do misty green walls (as in looks like it’s raining, and I’ll take your suggestions on how to do that), white trim, white furniture, dark wood laminate floors. Yep, we’re doing the whole room, including replacing the doors (over the years we will replace all the doors in the house, because they’re awful). We’ll probably do a pastel yellow rug and bedding. And monkeys, toucans, and macaws. Especially monkeys. I can imagine your surprise.

ME: Will you still love me if I gain 60 pounds?
HE: No.
ME: What about 30?
HE: That’s pushing it.
***

FRIEND: I take fiber daily. Keeps the bowels moving.
ME: Yeah, I’ve heard that. Wouldn’t know, I’m pregnant. My bowels practically move backwards.