ASarahKan Idol part the first

Sing Us a Song…

we were supposed to be at the Orleans Arena between 4 and 6 a.m. Sunday for the actual auditions and other festivities. we awoke at 4, but i dawdled for awhile, and with my bad influence working its magic, so did Tamika. she pinned up her funky pink and green hair extensions, and i got all cutesy and hot looking. ;)

i was going to wear my black pants, but Tamika talked me into my Paris Blues, which do look way cute on me (though they’re too tight, IMO) and show off my booty. :) plus my Starry shoes and my funky 70s belt (that goes w/ the jeans) do go perfectly with what has now been dubbed my “Adventurin’ Shirt” or whatever, as every pic of me out on the town on my blog shows me in my favorite top. this is why i would be a terrible Hollywood celebrity; i don’t give a flying hoot how many times i wear my favorite clothing and am seen in it. i bought it for $13, so i should get at least $13 out of it, i say! yay TJMaxx! i always do latch on to a shirt or pair of jeans and wear it/them practically everywhere. but i digress.

we left our hotel around 6 (oops!), had to stop for batteries for the .mp3 player that ended up not having the songs i had downloaded to it that morning (grrr). as soon as we were inside the 7-11 for the batteries, Tamika pointed out what i’d tried to ignore. “girl, did you see them stop talking and turn and watch you walk inside?” this, of course, made me decide for sure that my jeans were too tight, but there was nothing i could do now. we payed the clerk, who apparently did not look like a blogger, because Tamika didn’t ask, and carried on to the arena.

we arrived at 6:30 and waded in through another line but were in pretty quickly and found Val and Reggie, who was ready to sing. Fox gave us these releases to sign that say all kinds of things about how Fox can use any film of you, etc., the more humiliating the better, and you can’t sue them for making you look like an idiot showing what an idiot you are on TV. they’ve got a show to put on! :) Tamika and i made our way through Portal #4 to our seats next to D. Rich and Chris the Bear Man.

it was a very melodious place, the arena, as thousands of hopefuls were practicing our music. we had decided in our Red Lobster jam session that i should sing Elton John’s Your Song, which made me think of Frank, because he wants to learn that song for karaoke. awwwww. so apparently i was too googly-eyed and distracted or something, because every time i went over the song in my head, i forgot the words. if only i could make it to the chorus, i knew i would be fine, but i kept stalling at “it’s a little bit funny…” … no, kidding, i made it past “easily hide” before i got screwed up. knowing that forgetting the words would be digging my own grave, i ditched the song, even though i sound soooooo good on it. oh well.

Pick Me! Pick Me!

so now i was panicked. what in the world would i sing? i knew my backups were:
Independence Day, which, pitched right, would have pushed me through to the next round for sure
A Broken Wing, which got scrapped for being too slow and depressing
Green Apples, one of my all-time favorite love songs with a great range, though in the too-slow category
Stand By Me, which i wasn’t sure i could pitch right
Have a Little Faith in Me, couldn’t remember the words
Only Hope (Switchfoot), too slow
Hopelessly Devoted to You, kept forgetting the words, though i’ve known it by heart for years
Where are You Going, too slow and boring
The Colour of My Love, too Celine Dion
Hello (Evanescence), not sure I could pull it off with nerves going crazy
and of course, Sexual Healing, but that was only if they asked me to sing a second song, and only for laughs.

i hoped for a nice distraction; instead, i got Viva Las Elvis. did i mention i’m not an Elvis fan? yeah. so Executive Producers Nigel Lythgoe and Ken Warwick talked to us for a while and told us to have personality and a great voice when we sing for the first round judges. okie dokie. and they filmed us singing Viva Las Vegas, and the place was really pumping, we were all having a great time bungling the verses, even me, a little girl living in Hellvis. then we sang the Pointer Sisters’ I’m So Excited, and i really was so excited; there was so much energy in the arena i couldn’t help but have a blast. they reminded us of the process again and started auditioning all of us hopefuls.

we were in the third section, so we got to watch the first two sections go through the process before we did. now, Nigel and Ken had stressed to us that American Idol is, above all else, a television show, so they were looking for crazy moments to broadcast at a later date. nothing wrong with that. they actually told us not to give the producers too hard a time if they didn’t let us through, but if we did give anyone a hard time, please DO IT IN FRONT OF A CAMERA so Fox can capitalize on our foolishness. :)

there were people with gimmicks, people with big acts. the one i remember best, i knew she was going through to the next round when i saw her walk onto the arena floor; she was wearing a huge afro and a choir robe. i watched when she performed for her judge, and she started out singing quietly in her choir robe. then she stripped down, threw off the robe and the afro, and did a little dance for the judge. yes, she made it through to the next round. i think of the hundreds in the first two sections, we saw maybe 5 or 6 folks go through to the next round. it was easy to tell who got through, because those who made it got a big orange flyer and exited through the tunnel on the left, and those who didn’t got a big pile o’ nuthin’ and exited to the right. the non-losers go through to round 2, where they sing for the Executive Producers. if you get past round 2, you meet Simon, Paula and Randy. my guess on all of the horrible ones they show on TV is that they get through merely for entertainment value. i have no problem with that, as i am now a faithful viewer of the show and do watch for a bit of trainwreckiness.

SarahK, Superstar

so here’s what i didn’t know before i met Tamika, who clued me in on all things Idol. you don’t audition for Simon, Paula and Randy right off; there are two rounds you have to get through before you ever see my beloved Simon. the first round is what happens with the other thousands of hopefuls in the arena. they take you down by section to the arena floor and send you to one of 12 tables. each table has a judge (a show producer) and another person whose apparent purpose is to not smile, not make eye contact, and wear an American Idol staff badge. you line up in front of a judge’s table in rows of 4. here is our row.

when we arrived at our judge’s table, we were about 6 or 7 rows back, so there was still a long wait. we watched the others in front of us audition, and no one was getting by this judge lady. i had been watching her all morning and had yet to see her smile; i think it’s because she really had to pee, because two rows before ours, she asked for a 2-minute break, much to the dismay of the row in front of ours.

when it’s time for your row to sing, you walk up and give your Idiot Release Form to the no-smile girl. then the judge tells everyone to step back and the first one to step forward. singer #1 sings until the judge has heard enough to know whether he/she will put you through to the next round. then #1 steps back and #2 steps forward. after all 4 have sung, the judge will ask anyone he/she is not sure about to sing something else. after the decision has been made, she brings all 4 back up to the table and gives individual critiques and tells you who is going through to the second round. if you’re one of the lucky few, you get your orange flyer and everyone pretends to be happy for you; if you’re going bye-bye, they further humiliate you by snipping your wristband off your arm and pretending they’re going to miss you.

i didn’t know what i was going to sing until the second before i sang. alas, the only song that was fresh in my mind and recollectable was Green Apples, so that’s what i went with. now. i’d been warned by several people — don’t close your eyes, SarahK, make sure you keep your eyes open. so i kept my eyes open and kept them trained on the judge; had i been the judge, i might’ve been a little creeped out by me, as i was singing this lady judge a love song like i meant it. anyway, i was so focused on, er, focusing that i stuck my hands snugly in my back pockets, another big no no. silly SarahK. she let me sing for a good while before stopping me right before the hardest and most impressive part of the song.

Tamika was next and did a really great job on “Another Saturday Night”. she had everything — she had the voice, the dance going on, she was great.

The Bear Man went next, and right before he started to sing, Fox cameras surrounded our table so they could film him. good thing he was on, right? he really was awesome; he sang Lennon’s Let it Be, with a big finish, and when he was done, everyone lined up at our table (all rows) applauded (i cheered), as did many of the people in the stands. the humorless British chick even smiled really big. :D

D. Rich was last on our row and did a good job.

then she called us all back to the table to tell us how we did. she told us that we all did a great job. she told me that i have a beautiful voice (she might have said “very pretty”, but i think she said “beautiful”) but that i need to work a little on my stage presence. i agree. she told Tamika that she had a great performance, a lot of energy, but not what they are looking for, they want something very unique. she told us all that we did a great job but she was putting Chris (Bear Man) through to the next round and sending the rest of us home. hooray (for Chris)!

i think the worst part of getting dismissed is getting the wristband cut off. it’s a little bit painful, especially since the wristbands were a pretty purple color. we hugged Bear Man goodbye and wished him the best of luck.

i couldn’t stop smiling about what i’d just done. i got brave and just bared my butt to the world and had a most wonderful time doing it. i wasn’t even sad about being rejected, i was so proud of what i’d done and thrilled with the great time the weekend had provided. and for the record, i sang every note perfectly, my voice didn’t crack, didn’t shake as is its custom when i’m nervous. i sang well, and that went a long way toward my confidence as a singer. it also helped me have no regrets. i did what i said i would do, i didn’t chicken out, i did a great job, and i’m so proud of it!

there was one more thing to do, though, before Tamika and i joined the rest of the rejects through the Exit doors. i handed Tamika my camera, water and makeup bag.

i turned to the crowd behind me, gave a big smile, struck a Mary Katherine Gallagher pose, and shout-whispered, “SUPERSTAR!”

i really did. :-)