this just in

Frank put it to his readers todayta! to submit headlines and then funny jokes after the headlines. i had a lot of fun with this. here are my favorites that i submitted.

Leavitt Tapped for HHS.
tomorrow he’ll do interpretive dance for HUD.

Man, 80, Lives 18 Hours in Sea.
unconfirmed reports state he lived the other 701,262 hours on land.

Government Must Do More to Prevent Future Voter Fraud
President Bush to outlaw elections in Chicago and at Wizbang.

Breast Cancer Test Predicts Who Will, Won’t, Benefit From Chemo
among those listed as not benefiting are those without cancer.

Jury Reviews Evidence
next week, Cow Produces Milk.

Jury Reaches Sentence Decision
recommends capitalizing first letter and ending with period.

Pakistan: No CIA Bases Here
that you know of.

List of Nominees for GLOBES…
leading the nominations is Earth, followed by Mars and Mercury.

Phishing Scams Continue to Grow
local bait and tackle shops under surveillance.

McCain: No Confidence in Rumsfeld
Rumsfeld: i’ll kill ‘im.

US Denies Meddling in Ukraine Election
President Bush says he found “Go Yushchenko” t-shirt at garage sale, couldn’t resist bargain.

Kerik, White House Say Withdrawal Was His Decision
Wells Fargo officials corroborate and note that deposit was voluntary as well.

Theme Parks Attendance Up in 2004 Thanks to Foreigners
also up in 2004 thanks to foreigners… dead terrorists.
(because most of them are foreign)

Men Who Remarry Tend to Gain Weight, Ignore Health
women who remarry tend to gain weight, ignore husband.

Migraines May Increase Stroke Risk
so may raising the blood pressure of migraine-sufferers by telling them they’re going to die of stroke.

Annan’s son denies oil-for-food wrongdoing
UN denies anti-semitism.

Gay pastor dispute divides Methodists
the pastors are fighting over wallpaper colors. that’s so gay.

there are lots more from other funny people, so go see.

UPDATE: more… (i’m sorry, i can’t stop!)

Google to Scan Rare Books
why don’t they just read the Cliffs Notes?

Twins Deliver Twins, Today
sister storks very proud to carry matching babies.

Ukraine Opposition Expands – Poisoning Hard to Prove
Russian doctors say traces of hemlock and arsenic in Yushchenko’s blood probably from childhood vaccine.

No More ‘Sopranos’
fine then! we sing alto better too! we can be divas without hitting that high D. punks.

Kraft Raises Coffee Prices on Rising Bean Cost
what?? Kraft has products other than Macaroni ‘n’ Cheese Cheese ‘n’ Macaroni??

Former Bush Campaign Chief Pleads Innocent
… to losing!

13 Responses to this just in

  1. Did you not have anything to do today? there are 144 posts on franks site refering to this and about two thirds are yours. what gives?

  2. funny none the less…

  3. very funny, but I read them all at Frank’s site. You and Frank should coordinate. No double posting on different sites, and keep your ha ha material here, and Frank’s ha ha material there or I’ll be confused.

  4. well, see, I didn’t read the comments over there, cause I’m lazy today. very funny sarahk.

  5. Here’s one just to irk you after last sunday–(its from a few weeks back)

    Saints owner Bensen to team: “you play like High school kids”
    – High schools plan class-action suit for slander.

  6. guess i don’t need to read all of them at IMAO, the best are right here! :)

  7. MY favs:

    Pakistan: No CIA Bases Here
    that you know of.

    Annan’s son denies oil-for-food wrongdoing
    UN denies anti-semitism.

    …although I really liked Stephen’s contrib here too

  8. you funny! who’s frank? (tee hee)

  9. Very funny!! I love the “Cow Produces Milk” one!! And John McCain is ticking me off again (and I can vote against him!).

  10. Afghan Forces Catch Mullah Omar’s Security Chief

    Doing the Hustle!

  11. - Kerry says he will run again in 2008 -

    That was before Tereysa said he won’t

    – Palestinians Condemn Israeli’s Latest Claim -

    of the right to defend itself

    (note: Finally got everything moved to the new digs and you’re blogroled. Top billing over Frank of course – Merry ChrisChannuQwanza … or something)

  12. Ha ha Sarah. And I didn’t read your comments at Frank’s because I like you better than I like him so NYAH. Also, Big Bang Hunter, I don’t know who you are but I demand you blogroll me as well. You know, while you’re blogrolling people. That is, if you want to.

    Anyway, Sarah, thanks for the laugh(s).