If your neurologist ever tells you he’s sending you for “nerve conduction studies and muscle stimulation testing,” what he really means is he’s sending you for needle torture and electrocution.
But at least I got to meet Dr. Wonderful’s wife. I gushed about Dr. Wonderful for a while. I might have overwhelmed her just a little. And then she apologized. “It’s my first time to meet you, and I’m going to torture you with needles. I’m so sorry.” She was adorable.
The electrocution actually hurt more than the stabbing with needles. Make that, “I’m going to stab you with this needle. Ok, 1, 2, 3. Now that I have stabbed you with the needle, flex your muscle while the needle is in your muscle and nerve. No. You’re doing it wrong. Do it better. Give me your best effort. Ok, now I’m going to push against you, and you resist me. Ok, now flex your muscle that the needle is in. Ok, now relax.”
Sure thing. But what really hurt was when the guy (not Dr. Wonderfullette) electrocuted behind my knees. Because they have to use a higher voltage to stimulate the nerves between your knees and your feet, and that does not tickle.