Aquaman

My mother called me when I was in Boise for Christmas. “Sarah. You have to go to JC Penney for me and get Frank a present. I’ll send you the money for it, but you have to do this.”

“What is it?”

“They’re these Aquaman pajamas with feet, and they’re the funniest things, and when I saw them–” she’s laughing now “–I thought Frank just had to have them. But they only have large here, and they’re way to big. Go to JC Penney there and see if they have them.”

“Oh good grief. Alright. I’ll do it.” Because I knew, y’all. I knew she was right. He had to have them. I mean… it’s Aquaman.

So I went with Frank’s mom on the 23rd, or it might even have been Christmas Eve, I don’t remember. We went to Penney’s, and I looked for the super-secret present that I had been instructed to buy. Unfortunately, they were out of the Aquaman footed pajamas. But they did have Aquaman boxers. My word, I actually stood on line to buy Aquaman boxers. My MIL bought him some Homer Simpson boxers for his stocking, too.

So these things were on clearance for six bucks, because let’s face it. If your willy is in trouble, do you really want to entrust it to Aquaman? Help me, Aquaman! Ask a fish to swim my wee to safety! Not so comforting knowing that AC’s got your back(side), right?

Anyway. Other than his Dubya-2, guess what his very favorite Christmas present was. Yep. Those six dollar Aquaman boxers. The first day he wore them, he was practically giddy to put them on. Like suddenly his wang could talk to fish now. And then the next day, I saw him putting on his jeans, and he was still wearing his Aquaman boxers! I said, “Sweetie, you can not wear those boxers!” “Why not?” “Because you wore them yesterday! You put on clean boxers!” And the look on his face. Like a little kid whose toy was being taken away at playtime. He said, “But they’re mine!” He took them off anyway.

He is so cute, y’all. I’m telling you, I just don’t know what to do with him. Last night, there he was, getting ready for bed, and there was Aquaman, on those bright green boxers. I forgot to check and make sure he wasn’t trying to wear them again today.

I have noticed that when they go into his drawer, they are the first ones that come out the next day. Like they’re his best new clothes now.

I love that man.

7 Responses to Aquaman

  1. Hi, SarahK!

    I appreciate your BikerMommy’s sense of humor.

    Keep looking for those Aquaman Footy-Jammies. Frank will probably think they’re the coolest thing since sliced bread.

    I can understand Wolverine Jammies or Boxers. Even Batman, The Punisher or Nick Fury.

    But Aquaman?

    Why do I smell a possible future IMAO Podcast regarding this topic?

    Jack.

  2. reality intrudes

    Awww! That is so cute!!! Thanks for sharing it. Maybe you should post it at IMAO. I can’t imagine any good guy not loving it. Any pictures? or would Cadet Happy be compelled to supply some?

    Also, Thanks for your drawing and note on the box when you sent us the book. It is so cute I have posted it in my office. A real Sarak original! I get a case of the warm fuzzies every time I look at it.

    We love the book too. It is so much more relaxing to read a book than a screen. Plus you can relax in bed and read it for maximum recreation value! I was not so sure how well it would work till we tried it.

  3. so maybe not getting the footies was a good thing. I mean, would he try to wear them to work or something?

    Also, just FYI, it’s hard for a man, when wearing a really, really good pair of boxers, not to show them off to others. I have a bright yellow pair with bacon and eggs on them. They are long enough when wearing shorts that if you pull up the leg of the shorts, you can show them off to co-workers.

    I bet you $10 he has shown those Aquaman boxers to at least one other person.

  4. Sounds like Frank needs an extra pair! lol

  5. in much the same way that I didn’t want to know about my BIL’s black thong he was wearing one night when alcohol was imbibed causing him to feel the need to announce what was under his jeans, I need to stab out my mind’s eye after reading this entry.

    Thanks for helping me purge my lunch, though!
    ;)

  6. Just what is it with women and their obsession with our grooming habits? So, what’s the big deal if he wanted to wear them two days in a row? And why do you throw out our old, comfortable underwear just because they have a hole or two? Or the elastic is gone? Or they are black-and-white striped? Or permanently yellow – hopefully due to age and not the other reason?

    I have underwear that’s older than our (nearly) 15 year old marriage but only because I keep checking the garbage bins.

    But, Lord help me if I try to give away a shirt to Goodwill that she gave me 2 years ago that I never liked but that she thinks brings out the blueness of my eyes.

  7. Large is too big? I know you are not very tall, but he is always so much taller than you in every photo I can’t imagine large being too big!