Spidade called me today to ask what exactly I called to tell him on my way to worship yesterday morning. First he asked if I was late to worship. Yes. Because I forgot to set the clocks forward? No, we remembered that; it’s just we didn’t wake up. So late to Bible class, or late to worship? Oh, about a half hour late to worship. Missed Bible class completely. New meds, Dad, new meds. Today I slept till 11, so it’s not a selective church-days thing, either. Anyway…
SPIDADE: What exactly did you call to tell me on your way to being late to worship?
SARAHK: Hmm. I don’t remember. Did I call you?
SPIDADE: Well, you left me a message. It was five minutes long.
SARAHK: Oh goodness. Don’t tell me.
SPIDADE: Yes, I got the end of you singing one song and the entirety of “Jesus Take the Wheel”. And oh yes. I listened to the entire message. [Do I need to even tell y'all that he laughed at me as he told me this?]
SARAHK: Oooh. I remember singing that very badly. Was it bad? I was listening to her CD on the way to church and singing along. That’s what I do when I’m in the car, I practice for my next karaoke night.
SPIDADE: Well, at one point it sounded like you were almost mocking the song. [Thanks for the support, Spidade.]
SARAHK: Yes, I remember it was on the way to church, and you probably heard the end of “Before He Cheats” first. [Great song for preparing for worship, right?]
SPIDADE: Yeah, I think that is what it was.
SARAHK: And I’m actually planning to write a parody of that song, so I was probably working on some of my material. [I can't tell y'all what it's about. But Frank came up with it, I'm going to write it, and Spidade thought it was funny.]
SPIDADE: Oh, yeah? You’re going to be the next Weird Al Yankovic, huh?
SARAHK: Yes, that’s me. I’ll go by Weird Alice. Yeah, after that, I remember singing “Jesus Take the Wheel”, and at one point, I ran out of air on a long note [I hadn't spoken all morning, and these two songs were the first utterings out of my lungs, come on!], so I started to rewind, taking note that I would need a much bigger breath for that phrase, and then I just decided to start the whole song over.
SPIDADE: Yeah, I remember that. I remember at one point you started the song over.
SARAHK: Well I hope it got better after I started it over, because if not, I should just never sing again. Because I think I was actually singing along the second time, big breaths and whatnot.
SPIDADE: Yeah, it was pretty good the second time through. But man, at the top of your lungs. So Frank’s ears must have been splitting open enclosed in the car like that.
SARAHK: Actually, Frank felt pretty bad yesterday, had one of those 24-hour things, so he didn’t go. And when I’m in the car alone, I sing at the top of my lungs. [Doesn't everybody?]
SPIDADE: But you don’t remember calling me?
SARAHK: No. You know what it is? Ever since I almost got myself killed on the highway last week, I’m all hands-free, all the time. So I had my hands-free thing plugged in in case the phone rang, and when that’s plugged in, all I have to do is say someone’s name for it to auto-dial them, apparently. [I wonder whom else I called yesterday.] And there must be something in “Before He Cheats” that sounds like “Dad’s cell phone”.
SPIDADE: Well, I enjoyed it. Thanks. And now there’s something for your blog. [Hmm!]
Don’t you wish I’d called you?
BTW, yes, I know I still haven’t written about almost getting myself killed in a spinout on I-95. It’s too taxing. I’ve tried. I’ll do it, I will, but it’s hard to write this thing eloquently. And y’all know me. Always eloquent. Also hard to write about that when your head feels like it might split down the middle.