unscientific poll

SARAHK [in horrified Hermione voice]: You’re doing it all wrong. You’re wasting Doritos. If you’re going to eat them like that, you shouldn’t eat the Fiery Habaneros at all.
FRANK J.: What are you talking about?
SARAHK: I need to buy you some more Nacho Cheese [I don't like Nacho Cheese Doritos, they don't have enough salt on them, so what's the point?]. You’re a waster of Doritos. The proper way to eat a Dorito is this. You lick the salt off of the Dorito. Both sides. Then you eat the chip. Then you lick your fingers. There is no point to a Dorito if you don’t taste all of the salt. Why are you even eating it?
FRANK J.: I’m going to pretend you didn’t say anything. [pops Dorito into mouth, crunches, swallows, licks fingers.]
SARAHK: Well, at least you licked your fingers. Waster.

So tell me… how do you eat Doritos? The right way? The wrong way?

Me? I look into the bag and select the visible Dorito with the most salt and eat it the right way. If it turns out to be a false advertiser, I throw it back.

Funny I don’t have a generic “neuroses” category. You’d think I’d have created one by now.

8 Responses to unscientific poll

  1. I too look for the most heavily coated Dorito in the bag to eat first. I too am a licker of chip and fingers. But, I prefer to wait to lick my fingers at the end, when there’s like a foot of unnaturally-colored cheesey salt goodness caked onto my finger tips.


  2. Uh, I have to side with Mr. J on this one.

    I can’t say I’ve ever heard of anyone using the “oreo method” to eat Doritos. Call it the wrong way, but I think eat, crunch, lick-fingers is pretty much the standard.

    Honestly, I can’t taste the salt too much but then again, I only eat the nacho cheese Doritos.

  3. Reach in bag, grab Dorito, eat Dorito, repeat… Lick fingers before touching any item that is not a Dorito. There is no wrong way to eat a Dorito.

  4. Welp….another time I’m going to have to side with Sarah K. I do it exactly the same way….even to the looking inside to find the most coated one first.

    Doing it any other way is just pointless. Just put the bag down and go lick a rice cake instead. WASTER!!!!!

  5. I’m the weird one, here… I despise ALL flavored chips which have dusty, powdery stuff on them. My chips have to be salty, yes, but must not leave residue (other than just good ol’ grease) behind on my fingers. That’s the part I dislike so strongly. I touch Cheetos and Doritos and I literally have to wash my hands right then.

    But that’s just me. Everyone else in this house eats ‘em like there’s no tomorrow. :)

  6. ewwwwwwwwwwwwww–nothing you eat should ever require you eating it off your fingers!

  7. As I said elsewhere, I eat Doritos less than I used to because the taste lingers all day (even when I brush). I like to taste food once. However, when I do eat Doritos, I eat them using FrankJ’s method.

    I’m also going to guess that SirKisser doesn’t eat much fried chicken (and if he eats it with knife and fork, I don’t want to hear about it–that’s a hanging offense where I come from).

  8. no wrong way to eat doritos. the only WASTER is one who does not try at all. you go frankiej. from your mommyinlaw