Y’all, I am so shoe deprived right now. I don’t remember if I told you how I lost all of my favorite shoes… okay, “lost” is not the right word. One pair of shoes, my Crocs flip-flops, had to be thrown out, because I was flipping (alpha rolling) Rowdi, and when I did, she tried to be difficult (normally she goes down right away, because I’m the boss), and when she tried to get away (through my legs), I flipped her anyway, and she landed on my foot. My foot pushed forward under her weight, and the toe strap of one of the flip-flops busted. And I wore those suckers all the time. This did not make for a happy SarahK (that’s me).
Incident number two happened within days of the first incident. It did not involve the dog; it only involved my stupidity (and Frank’s failure to completely close a leftovers-container of SarahK’s Super-Awesome Creamy Chicken). I had opened the fridge and seen that the leftovers were not properly sealed and that this was just an accident waiting to happen. I would have preferred that the accident waited until my favorite gold-cloth-and-sequins platform shoes (they were not nearly as gaudy as they sound — they were lovely and $17) were not there. I pulled the container out of the refrigerator so I could re-seal it, but I fumbled the container, and SarahK’s Super-Awesome Creamy Chicken splattered all over the gold cloth of my shoes. I, of course, decided it was Frank’s fault and didn’t speak to him for a while.
FRANK J.: What’s wrong?
SARAHK: You ruined my shoes.
FRANK J.: I’m sorry. [He doesn't even bother to ask why, he just assumes I'm being crazy, as usual. I keep telling him I'm a woman, but he still doesn't get the bursts of crazy -- just takes his hits and apologizes for what he thinks is nothing.]
SARAHK: You should be. If you had properly put away the chicken, I’d still have my shoes.
FRANK J.: O… kay. I’ll buy you new shoes? [Poor men. We make no sense to them, but in our little heads, "you didn't properly put away the chicken" easily leads to "you ruined my shoes."]
So Frank and Rowdi owe me new shoes. I’ve been forced to not wear my signature brown clothes to church (all my favorite clothes are brown), because with the gold shoes out of the picture, I have only black and white dress shoes (and the white ones hurt my feet). Also, I’m wearing my regular Crocs when I go out and about (the “shuglies,” as my preacher’s wife calls them). They’re fine but a little too confining for my taste. I prefer the flip-flops.
I’m looking around for new shoes. So far, I’ve gone to a few stores and come out empty-handed. I hate shoe shopping more than I hate clothes shopping, and that is saying something. I don’t have wide feet, but when I accidentally get glutened and my feet start to hurt, I need wide shoes — and do you know how people look at you in the stores when you ask if they carry your shoe in “wide”? Like you’re a freak!
If I was looking for a replacement for my shuglies (which I’m not), I would consider some Bernie Mev shoes (like the Crocs, they are cute in that so, so ugly kind of way, and they look so comfy). As it is, I’ll probably just replace the flip-flops with the same exact shoes (red and black), though also I might get them in brown and light blue, since those are my main colors. I thought about ballerina shoes (equally ugly), but I haven’t seen any with enough padding to work with my wonky, temperamental feet.
The dress shoes are so much harder to replace. Black ones I never have problems with. But shoes to wear with brown are not as easy to come by (I found some gold-ish Jessica Simpson shoes that were cute enough, but I’m not sure my ankles want to be perpendicular to the ground all day).
Yeah, so basically, I’m looking online now. But the risk with buying shoes online is not knowing whether I need a 5 1/2 or a 6 (every shoe is different!). Yes, I do have tiny feet. They’re adorable; I love them.