This may be a sensitive post for some, as it is about babies, so continue reading at your own risk.
I definitely donâ€™t have the baby bugâ€¦ yet. I am finding them cuter and cuter every day, though. Is that a sign of anything? It seems like everyone is having babies or wanting babies these days, and Iâ€™ve kinda been feeling like an outsider until recently. I was looking at Helenâ€™s pictures and reading the posts about birthing her babies, and I turned to Frank and said, â€œI wanna have a baaaaaby.â€ He looked at me and asked if I was serious. And he was grinning! Grinning! What the hay? I wasnâ€™t telling him we should go shopping for baby bedding and curtains and brightly colored paints (oh, heck no, there will be no turquoise or pink rooms in our house) or anything like that; I was just making a comment because I was all teary-eyed over Helenâ€™s Nick and Nora. Of course, I suspect he’ll be fine with putting a bun in my oven as soon as we’re settled in Idaho — he’s made comments as such before.
I mean, weâ€™ve talked about the fact that weâ€™d like to start having babies not too long after we get to Idahoâ€¦ because, you knowâ€¦ Iâ€™m thirty-one. I am getting awful ripe for baby-bearing. All of my pregnancies, should I be able to conceive, will be high-risk as it is because of the epilepsy (and Iâ€™ll have to get off my seizure meds). And at least one baby (if we have three, or have two and adopt one, or have one and adopt two â€“ ack! Did I give in to his wish for three babies? When did that happen?) will be an even higher risk pregnancy, because Iâ€™m hoping the babies will be two or three years apart.
Weâ€™d really prefer that our financial situation is stable and good before I get all large with child and we start looking at the crib bedding and mobiles. It would be nice to not have to worry about how weâ€™re going to afford the college tuition savings, the clothing, the food, and even the kids furniture. But you know what they say. If you plan kids for when you think youâ€™re financially ready, youâ€™ll just never have them. I have a feeling that with me getting on in age like apples that need to be stewed instead of served raw, my age is going to be the biggest factor. We can only wait so long to get startedâ€¦