yeah, but I wanna post that thing about my hoo-hah first

FRANK J.: You said you wanted to take a shower?
SARAHK: Yeah, but I wanna post that thing about my hoo-hah first.

WARNING: Not for children nor sensitive peeps. Family might want to stay away, too: I fear nausea may be upon you if you resist my warning.

FRANK J.: When I was watching Fox at my mom’s today, I saw this thing on Fox that was tips to help you live longer.
SARAHK: Oh yeah?
FRANK J.: The first one was don’t smoke.
FRANK J.: Also, eat five servings of fruit and vegetables a day, which the guy was dismissing as impossible.
SARAHK: It’s absolutely essential. Fruits and vegetables very important.
FRANK J.: Then there was alcohol in moderation. Not too much, but also not too little.
FRANK J.: And the other thing, which I think must be very important, is sex at least twenty-one times per month.
FRANK J.: See, that’s why you haven’t been feeling well. You need more sex.
SARAHK: And just how is my hoo-hah supposed to survive that long?
FRANK J.: It’ll toughen up.
SARAHK: Yeah, you’d *love* that.
FRANK J.: Now, in February, you wouldn’t get much of a break. But I think it’s important so we live longer.

We’d better start now if we want to reach that quota for February. Seriously, twenty-one times a month? I’d need a prosthetic. And basically, between sex and periods, I’d get about five days of rest a month from hormones (two in February). No one can survive that.

8 Responses to yeah, but I wanna post that thing about my hoo-hah first

  1. Yeah… I don’t think I’d take my husband’s word for that… YOU might. Not me. LOL!!

  2. I’m right there with Frank. Mucho Importante.

    In fact, given how far away The Boss and I are from that quota, it is a miracle we are both alive!

    Also, note that your calculations seem to limit yourself to once a day …

  3. i think Frank is right. ha ha. i mean hoohah.

  4. HA! Sean has a point.

    You could use that against Frank. Do your quota like a cop. Come Feb 1, you drag Frank off for 21 runs in a row and I bet he’ll leave you alone for a while!


  5. Or at least Feb 2 would be quiet…

  6. I think Frank and Chris watched the same thing!! Chris tried to convince me of this, too, but I demanded to see a study on it before commiting to this lifestyle change. I’m already on a diet. One thing at a time!

  7. Only 21 times a month? Is the wife frigid?

  8. nothing wrong with twice a day a few times, with several days off.

    the 21 times average sounds about right – but 21 DAYS might be bad.

    and then, all at once is also a bad option.

    kinda like the alcohol. 2 drinks per day is good, but saving them all up for Saturday night is bad.