FRANK J.: You said you wanted to take a shower?
SARAHK: Yeah, but I wanna post that thing about my hoo-hah first.
WARNING: Not for children nor sensitive peeps. Family might want to stay away, too: I fear nausea may be upon you if you resist my warning.
FRANK J.: When I was watching Fox at my mom’s today, I saw this thing on Fox that was tips to help you live longer.
SARAHK: Oh yeah?
FRANK J.: The first one was don’t smoke.
FRANK J.: Also, eat five servings of fruit and vegetables a day, which the guy was dismissing as impossible.
SARAHK: It’s absolutely essential. Fruits and vegetables very important.
FRANK J.: Then there was alcohol in moderation. Not too much, but also not too little.
FRANK J.: And the other thing, which I think must be very important, is sex at least twenty-one times per month.
FRANK J.: See, that’s why you haven’t been feeling well. You need more sex.
SARAHK: And just how is my hoo-hah supposed to survive that long?
FRANK J.: It’ll toughen up.
SARAHK: Yeah, you’d *love* that.
FRANK J.: Now, in February, you wouldn’t get much of a break. But I think it’s important so we live longer.
We’d better start now if we want to reach that quota for February. Seriously, twenty-one times a month? I’d need a prosthetic. And basically, between sex and periods, I’d get about five days of rest a month from hormones (two in February). No one can survive that.