adultress! UPDATED

What will my family think? On my post about getting the most awesome massage ever, someone named “Sean” had something to say about the kind of woman I am. For getting a massage. A professional massage by a licensed massage therapist. A massage that I can use Flexible Spending Account pre-tax money to fund.

You are, with your husbands permission or not, an adultress.

Is that husbands? Plural? And let me guess. You are voting for / did vote for Mike Huckabee in the primary? He’s, like, so awesome on things like foreign policy and big government. I just LOVE big government. It goes great with my hair.

But not much more

Not much more? I’d say adultery is quite a lot.

is expected from someone who styles herself as a “queen”

Actually, someone else dubbed me Queen of Infidels, I just ran with it. Infidels! Like infidelity! Awesome! Oh wow! Like totally freak me out, I mean, right on!

and enjoys the teasing and “naughtiness”

You mean like if I don’t tease my hair exactly the way Cosmo tells me to? It IS naughty! I am such a rebel.

and pretty much writes like a college cheerleader.

What? Like it’s hard?

But hey, it is YOUR BLOG, eh?

Yes, Canadian, it is. Good job figuring that one out! Go YOU!

Let me guess, your favorite movie is Legally Blonde,

My adultery-approving husband does agree: I do love that movie! I own it and everything! It’s super fun!

and you usually accept it’s and your premise as logically plausible.

Do you mean “its”? You confuse me with your progressive grammar. Oh, and what is my premise? The girl at the hair salon didn’t tell me, so I’m totally clueless!

I got here via CG, if you’re wondering.

I wasn’t, but thanks for sharing!

Thankfully, there is no law in this country against having an empty-headed, worthless, and pointless web site.

Yes, that’s great for you! So what’s your blog address?

So, rave on, and don’t worry about me, I’m allright.

I’m glad you’re alright. I was worried there for a second. But no biggie! (Said… the cheerleader.)

UPDATE: Sean has apologized and said he won’t be back. I accept your apology, Sean.

46 Responses to adultress! UPDATED

  1. What an idiot! But what fun it is to laugh at his rediculousness…almost like Frank’s limey.

  2. GOOD GRIEF!!! What a[pinkytoe]! What happened to your eating out post? [I removed it.]
    How are your seizures today? [Better but still present, thanks for asking.] I hope that you are feeling better. [Thank you. My headache is barely here anymore.]
    I am still waiting for pictures of Miss Rowdi playing in the snow! [Oh yeah, that! All the pictures are still on the camera.]

  3. I’ll second the GOOD GRIEF!!!! Since what came to mind initially is against your comment rulz.

    I hope that he made you and Frank both laugh!

  4. Well, I’ve always believed you to be of loose moral character, myself.

    /sarcasm

    Just…wow, Sean. Ya loon.

  5. So, is Sean one of those types who sees world famous art, say, statues of naked men from way back when and calls it obscene and vulgar?

    Let me guess, Sean, any female who ever delivered a baby with a male doctor must all be an “adultress”, right Sean? Like, wow, tee hee…

    Give me an I

    I!

    Give me a D

    D!

    Give me another I

    I!

    Give me an O

    O!

    Give me a T

    T!

    What’s that spell?

    Sean!

  6. Marcy, I’d have to say that even Sean doesn’t compare to the Limey. :)

    Heather, see above.

    CTG, oh yes, he did.

    Earl, you know, *I’ve* always considered me to be of loose moral character, too!

    Serenity, all those poor unwittingly adulterous mothers! Hahaha.

    Of course, my question is… was I having a lesbian affair when I got massaged by Mary and Vicky? I think they’d both be a little put out to learn that’s what was going on. :)

  7. Don’t worry about Sean. He’s just upset that you weren’t wearing your burkha.

  8. It just sounds like Sean has some personal jealousy issues to work out. Sean, you can go get your own man, too. Just be patient and persistent…

  9. That’s “all right” (not alright, and certainly not allright!) to us purists–or old fogeys–whichever you prefer. ;-)

  10. You always have to wonder about someone who takes the time to complain about a blog and insult its author they chose to read, rather than just surf on through.

  11. What the…? That guy needs help. Like serious, psychiatric help. Possibly electroshock therapy.

  12. i think it sean is part of a vast left wing conspiracy to undermine the vast right wing conspiracy that is us. screw him. not literally sean you doofus.

  13. Well your blog is pretty troll-free, one reason I like it. And by the standards of some attacks his was pretty weak. I’ll never, never understand trolldom.

  14. That Sean is just jealous that he wasn’t the one getting the massage!

  15. Anthony Martin

    Adultery!!! Can porn be far behind? You are sooo versatile.

  16. I apologize. I will not return.

  17. I second the lesbian question. In his opinion is a lesbian affair worse or better than a “straight” affair? Hmmmm, things to ponder.

  18. Canadians….

  19. “Sean Says:

    I apologize. I will not return.”

    Good riddance, hippie.

  20. it was good of Sean to let us know what a wanton and depraved act getting a massage is. I am so completely ashamed of myself now! How will I ever ocme back from this?

  21. I’m ashamed that I’ve (evidently) had multiple affairs over the course of my 25 years of marriage. I have three bulging disks in my lower back and a deep tissue massage is usually the only thing that keeps me going. My current LMT is going to be equally ashamed that she and I have been carrying on in … public? Is my wife equally guilty of sin because she’s the one who found Robin for me?

  22. Lemme guess… Sean is even now composing a blog post that says that he spoke God’s truth to the wayward and they responded with scorn and insults – but he tried. It’s so noble to live in the end times!

    I hereby dub Sean’s website “St. Emo’s Fire.”

  23. Send this guy to Rachel L. She will take care of him. What a jerk!
    And, you look lovely on your hubby’s blog. Love the shirt!

  24. Way to fisk, Miz Sarahk! I second Nightfly’s idea but if that name’s taken, how about “Hangups-R-Us”?

  25. I totally got that you were expressing pain not pleasure in the other post. It’s sad that people read that wrong and took it a step further by reading such negative connotations into it. Don’t let the trolls get you down, Sarah.

    PS I’m getting a massage tomorrow, and after your post on it, asked for 60 minutes instead of my usual 30. Can’t wait! Boo to pain.

  26. Sean (not the retard Sean mentioned in this thread)

    “Awesome! Oh wow! Like totally freak me out, I mean, right on!”

    Did you just quote “Bring It On”?

  27. sarahk…your hubby posted your prettiness all over his blog and then bragged about how much better he is than all others because he has you. i like it.

  28. I cannot figure out how a professional massage = adulterous activity. Does not compute. Clearly, your angry troll poster has never had A. Real sex with a live human so that he knows the applicable definition of adultery and/or B. a massage. The twain shall never meet. I don’t get it.

  29. i have to say, i’m actually glad that cuckoo wrote in because after your previous post I figured you’d be MIA for a few! Plus this gave me a good laugh :)

  30. I would never accuse you of that SaraK, daydream about it maybe, but never accuse…..

    Frank, you are one lucky SOB, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

  31. WOAHHHH ! How did that guy steal my name!

    Sarahk, I know *you* know that was not me, as you can see the email addresses – but that guy has some nerve using my name!

    The worst thing I ever did was shout “GIANTS” on a Cowboy-friendly blog.

    And for the record, as the original poster named Sean on your blog (and hopefully back to the only one) I dont think you are an adultress, nor a cheerleader, and I love your blond-headed ways.

    Cheers, Sarahk

    Sean (the Original and Best)

  32. Sarah,

    I think we all need to step back and not judge newSean too harshly.

    He obviouslly is in need of a new place for release now that Ron Paul has decided to suspend his campaign.

    You are just his transitional troll spot.

    Don’t worry, he will move on and find another moon to howl at.

  33. Oh my!!!! ROFL… thanks it’s been a long day and that’s just hilarious. newSean should get a comedy routine together – he could call it “the traveling burkas” and make jokes about the showing of hair and ankles. I tell ya – it would be a hit all over the Middle East. *grin*

  34. Oh good grief. :( I concur – what a pinkytoe.

  35. Sean #25, I quoted Bring It On and Legally Blonde (each several times). I was going for college + cheerleader + blonde.

  36. I think, just to be safe, we should prevent all persons named “Sean” from visiting this site.

  37. #35

    Are you suggesting a Sean Registration Council?

  38. I am indeed. For the good of our nation.

  39. this could be a new sub-post of sarahk’s blog…Sean and Sean, Good vs. Evil. I routing for the original Sean (the Good), not the newbie (Sean, the Evil). Maybe the bad Sean really does see it that way because he too visited massage parlors in East Dallas and thought those were the real ones. ???

  40. wow bikermommy’s blessing! tres cool!

    also, i was really afraid that once the evil pinkeytoe poster got hung with the name newSean you were all going to make me be *oldSean*. Ouch. I already have a set of nephews who call me “Old Uncle Sean” – despite me telling them over and over it should be “young Uncle Sean” for thier young uncle and “Handsome Uncle Sean” for me!

  41. So, if I go to a male gyno, is that adultery too? I mean, assuming I was married. If I’m not married, then I guess it’s just fornication.

    Doofus.

    SarahK, I’m glad you got a good massage – with your health issues, I’m sure it was super good for you in addition to being SUPER FUN. (Hey, I not only quote Legally Blonde on a regular basis, I also quote Legally Blonde TWO. And Bring It On. And Bring It On Again. Did I just share too much?)

    Also, what’s CG, if I may ask? I’m out of the loop.

  42. I’d say that Sean has never had a good massage. OR….I could go on, but that wouldn’t be nice. So, I’ll chose to leave it at that.

  43. You mean Sean isn’t right? You aren’t a loooooooose woman. Damn, I was planning on tying up Frank and seducing you with a phony foot massage.

  44. Maybe we should just require the evil Sean to wear a goatee since everyone knows that it’s the evil, alternate universe version that has facial hair.

    But, considering his writing style, he may not be old enough to even grow facial hair. That could present a problem…

  45. I’m only a very occasional reader ( I should come here more often though ) but I would like to say a few things,

    - I think SarahK is cute, adorable, funny and certainly not dumb.(Dumb people are never funny)

    - Not all Canadians are like Sean or are socialist progressives, I’m Canadian and I’m a cool conservative who loves the USA.
    Not only am I Canadian but my mother tongue is French, and I am still a cool conservative who is not a socialist progressive who loves the USA! how about that?

    - Why did Sean not accuse the masseur or masseuse of being an adulterer/ess?
    The masseur/masseuse was there too? ( I’m kidding of course! )

    - Since I only come here infrequently I do not know how Sarahk’s headaches and back pains are doing but if she is interested ( why am I talking in the third person about SarahK? ) If YOU are interested SarahK, there is an article at ABC news today about neck pain being related to headache pain. ( which is something I had mentioned to you a couple years ago but you probably do not remember )

    - I have headaches, insomnia, occasional back pain and I used to be very affected by my chronic fatigue syndrome ( but not so much now ) so I can relate to SarahK’s health issues.

    - If I was your man SarahK I would give you long massages ( I’m told I’m good for an “amateur”…) because you are cute, funny and adorable. ( this is not an offer nor is it flirting, I said IF!!!
    now don’t anyone go all Sean on me !!! )

  46. Also, in addition to “all right”; it’s “adultEress,” Sean. Oh, and “its and your premiseS,” but whatevs. Not that anyone’s being picky here. About anything. Or picking on anyone. At all.

    Oh, and please don’t attempt to argue. Former English teacher here. You’re wrong. On so many levels.

    That anyone would say all this to the adorable sarahk! Must leave now to go calm down.