snippets: the workplace

Elle and I have been on fire this week with the snarky comebacks and snappy remarks. I’ve forgotten most of it, but I do recall the ones I wrote down.
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I was working in our accounting system yesterday, which is IE-based (now, there’s your problem). It gave me an expired page error message, and I shouted, “WHATEVS!” at it. I think it learned its lesson.
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ELLE [regarding a transaction she was investigating]: This doesn’t make sense.
SARAHK: You don’t make sense.
ELLE: I do too make sense. I’m full of sense.
SARAHK: Yeah, well, I’m full of dollars.

PUN BURN OF THE YEAR!
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Elle was working on something I gave her last Monday.

SARAHK: I gave you that like nine days ago!
ELLE: Well, not nine business days.
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We found out today that effective immediately, we can wear jeans every day of the week. They sent out a mass email to the entire company, and Elle read hers first. “We can wear jeans every day now!” And then we heard loud cheers erupt from the finance department. Seriously, those people are crazy. They have wild lunchtime parties every now and then, music and everything. We are, of course, going shopping this weekend. Not the finance department and me. Elle and me. Elle and I, actually. So during her lunch, Elle was looking at the store websites to see what they all have this weekend (I’m not lying, she loves shopping).

ELLE: Wow, these jeans are $80, on sale for $39.50!
SARAHK: Holy cow.
ELLE: What, that they’re $39.50?
SARAHK: Yeah. That’s crazy.
ELLE: How much do you spend on jeans? $10?
SARAHK: *gasp* THANKS!
ELLE: Well, you said $39.50 was crazy!
SARAHK: Twenty, thirty if they’re really good…
ELLE: $39.50 is not bad.
SARAHK: Are you planning to wear them to the Oscars? [I don't know where the Oscars came from in my wee brain, but there they were.]
ELLE: No, if I was planning to wear them to the Oscars, they’d be like $130.

Our staff accountant, whom I’ll call Emme, came by later and actually asked me if I’ll be switching to jeans. Well, sure, but not $39.50 jeans. It’s too bad for Frank, actually, because I haven’t spent our clothing budget for three months, and I was going to use some of it to buy new trashy lingerie. But now I need jeans.

3 Responses to snippets: the workplace

  1. I’m pretty sure Congressman Frank is about to call the budget into debate and will not allow the jeans appropriation to pass without an earmark for trashy lingerie.

  2. “but I do recall the ones I wrote down.”

    Ha! You are such a nerd. I only carry a pen with me, not paper, but I would totally write down convo’s too, if I was prepared.

    BTW, I’m still stuck on “you’re cooler than I thought.”

  3. my favorite jeans right now, I paid about $13.00 for at WalMart (yes, I wait for them to go on sale). and they make them in khaki and black.