Bee stings hurt.
I went back for my follow-up with Dr. Super-Fantastico today. She’s being downgraded to Dr. Average for the time being. I was sitting in the exam room waiting for her to come in, and I actually heard her say, “Yeah, why don’t you go ahead and start with her, and I’ll come in later. I’m going to skip ahead to this other patient.” I was the patient being skipped, and considering that I was on time for my appointment, it did kinda annoy me. She sent in a PA student, bless her heart. I felt for the girl, she felt rather clueless. She did fine.
Long story short(ish, Kate P, short-ish), the homocysteine was normal and the MMA results aren’t in yet. Dr. Average did not check my calcium levels, but my vitamin D levels are good, and the two usually go up and down together. I did ask her about checking my calcium, and she kinda seemed disinterested in that and basically blew me off. She checks it on everyone else when she runs just a basic blood panel, but she didn’t check it on me, because we skipped the basic and went right to the specifics. The PA student told me that most people are well above 800 on the B-12, so 271 is lower than they usually see, even though it’s normal. Since the MMA results aren’t in, Dr. Average is considering it normal and doesn’t want to pursue a B-12 deficiency. She basically told me I can take a B-complex if I want, but she doesn’t think it will do anything. And then she had nothing to offer. I looked right at her. “So… you’re out of ideas? What about calcium?” She ignored that and asked if I’ve tried Prozac for the tingling. Prozac. When are doctors going to stop implying that I’m depressed? I’m chronically ill! You expect me to be yippy skippy when I walk into your office and you tell me you don’t know what to do about me and you act like you’ve given up after running one set of tests?! This is why depression is a symptom of most chronic illnesses. People get tired of being sick and tired of doctors asking if they’d just like some Prozac. I calmly and non-confrontationally told her that I’m not a fan of taking random meds just to see if they’ll work, don’t like meds in general, and I prefer to find out the root causes of my problems rather than just throw band-aids at them. She offered nothing, and I was stunned. Last appointment, she seemed so thorough and interested, and this time, she skipped ahead of me and ignored everything I said. She said they’ll keep checking for the MMA results, and we’ll see you in two months. For what? To go over the results of the additional tests you’re *not* running? Run my calcium or refer me to an endocrinologist. Please. Of course, I didn’t think to ask for the referral again until I was already out of downtown. I just left dejected and got weepy. Maybe I should have said yes please to the Prozac.
Oh, she also ignored that my lymphocyte count on my labs came back barely under the low end of normal. It’s bolded and starred on the report (yes, I did get a copy), and she didn’t even mention it.
Meanwhile, as the student PA and I had waited for Dr. Average to finish with the patient she’d skipped me for, PA student asked if there was anything else… I said, “Yeah. Do you know what this is?” I held up my index finger. It’s had this thing on it for over a year, a blistery-looking thing, and it drives me nuts. I’ve pulled it off, cut it off, and dug it out — all three of those give me the same results — lots of blood and a recurring thingy on my finger. It’s gross, and I always pick at it. Student PA looked at it and said, “Yeah, I think I do.” “Is it a wart?” I could barely choke out the words, but whatevs, maybe she could help me not be so gross anymore. “If you pick at it, do you get little black flecks?” Um, gross, and yes. “Then it’s a wart. We can freeze it off for you if you’d like.” Sure, why not. And ew. I have a wart. I’m the Wicked Witch of the Pacific Northwest.
When Dr. Average was back in the room, PA Student got to remove my wart. I felt so sorry for her. She shaved layers off at a time with a razorblade, and it didn’t hurt until she got down to the capillaries and I started bleeding. When they were sufficiently happy with the amount of blood pouring forth from my disgusting little friend, they got out the liquid nitrogen to freeze it so they could try to kill the virus. Did y’all know warts are caused by HPV? Me either. Ok, so they said that it would feel like a bee sting when they froze the wound. I’ve never been stung by a bee, so I was like, yeah, ok, go ahead. Holy crap. I don’t ever want to be stung by a bee. And they froze it three times. My finger still hurts. Hopefully soon I’ll have a normal finger.