We’re gonna win. Y’all are watching, right? As Allah said, “Strident Obama partisans are excused from rooting for her; everyone else needs a note from mom.” So say we all.
Sarah Palin is telling me I should vote for John McCain. Well, um… yeah, ok. I’ll do whatever that saucy broad tells me to do.
I’m kind of in love with her. And that hubba husband of hers, soon to be the Second Dude. And Piper, who is just absolutely positive that all those people are applauding for her. We are, little Pipey, my new pet. Sorry, Tracey, hope you weren’t looking to replace your Beefy Peach. Pipes, I shall keep you in a cupboard under the stairs, and someday soon, you can go to Hogwarts.
By the way, Rowdi is forlorn and a little stung by the pit bull / hockey mom remark. But whatevs, I told her to get over it, because everyone knows that Pit Bull / Shepherd Mixes are always just looking for ways to be offended. Parse every remark, look for insults. It’s the Shepit way.
My mom called to see what I thought of the speech. I was still hyperventilating and all that, but I did ask: What’s the deal with Willow? She’s the only child they never mention, and that kind of sucks. I love her and her name and her beautiful smile! You know what my mom said? “Well, I think it’s because she’s… well… the middle child.” I should have known. Probably why I feel such a kinship with her. She’s my new BSF (Best Sister Forever). Oh ha, I still can’t get over Mike Huckabee the other night saying “BFF” and then defining BFF (for the uninformed among us) as “Best Female Friend.” Politicians amuse me.
Greta just called Idaho “Iowa.” Stay sharp, Gretsky.
All these states are passing! I am furious! Someone explain! Why isn’t every state casting votes for Sarah!?
This just in… all the states are being classy and passing so that Arizona can be the state to push McCain over the delegate count he needs to win the nomination. I’m no longer furious!
And there you go. John McCain is officially our nominee.
If you missed the speech (you know the one), Hot Air has video and the transcript.