You look horrible

The total weight of the desk, in box, is 175 pounds, and the thing is going upstairs. So while Frank was running errands and whacking the weed jungle in the back yard, I took the desk out of the box, piece by piece, and took each piece upstairs. 400 pieces later, I’m fairly tired. I’m a wimp.

Frank came in from the weed jungle and noticed that I had emptied the box.

FRANK: Oh, you got some of the desk moved upstairs?
SARAHK: I got all of the desk moved upstairs. I’m tired.
FRANK: Yeah, I can tell. Your face looks… you look horrible.
SARAHK: Thanks!
FRANK: I mean… you probably put on eyeliner [I never ever wear eyeliner] or something, and it rubbed off or something?
SARAHK: No. [He walked toward me, studying my face. I noticed his transition-lensed glasses were still dark from being outside.]
FRANK: Oh. Maybe it’s just shadows or something. [Leaning in close.] Oh, yeah. There’s nothing on your face.
SARAHK: Maybe your glasses are still tinted from being outside. And YOU LOOK HORRIBLE! AND SO’S YOUR FACE!

He’s cruel to me.

6 Responses to You look horrible

  1. When my husband paints himself into a corner like that I give him a “line reading”. (Which is cool lingo from the few weeks of drama classes I took. Usually in rehersals, when an actor is going through a scene, there’s someone there with the script that can give them a line when they get stuck.)

    Husband: You look horrible.
    Me: Excuse me?!
    Husband: I mean… uh.. the light is weird and um…
    Me: You look beautiful honey.
    Husband: You look beautiful honey.
    Me: Thank you!

  2. Ahhh, young love.


  3. i would have just punched my hubby…j/k
    no, seriously

  4. for some reason Napolean Dynamite came into my head. You didn’t happen to have any shading on your upper lip, did you?

  5. when my hubby says something so politically incorrect, I repeat it “I look horrible! I knew it! Why do you even stay married to me? I would dump me for someone else!” then start crying and just when he starts groveling and swearing that I am the most beautiful thing alive I say “I own you and you couldn’t even in your wildest imagination have someone better than me my little puppet!” End of story.