I don’t much care for hyperventilating
Today in the EEG, I had to hyperventilate, as is the custom in EEGs. This is harder than it sounds, because you have to hyperventilate for three whole minutes. I started hyperventilating, and after minute one I was sure I was going to die. Then when the EEG tech said, “One more minute,” I kind of wanted to hurt her. My chest was tight, my abs were shaking, and I was just feeling that general malaise that comes along with purposeful hyperventilation. The tech even made me slow down. “You’re doing a great job! Actually too good. Slow down your breathing…” I really did feel like I would kick off. I’m not a baby in tests, but I actually said, “Um, now my chest is tight.” I probably had a heart attack. Who knows? I had a stroke sometime in the past and didn’t realize that either. After the hyperventilation, I shook for the rest of the test. I’m sure the results will be completely readable!
And then the tech said I could sleep, but every time I started to sleep, she’d wake me up. By the time it was all over, I was exhausted and wanted to kill her, just a little. And these things only last about an hour, from the time they start scrubbing your head with scouring pads to the time they re-scrub your head with scouring pads. I managed to get all the way to the parking garage afterward, but when I turned the corner and didn’t see my car, I was appalled. Someone had stolen my car. Why would they steal a brain patient’s car? That’s just horrible, I thought. They just come and take your car while you’re vulnerable. Turns out, I was parked one level up. BTW. The EEG techs? They really could just off you right there and make a clean getaway. This is what I was thinking as I was on my back, head being scoured, the nice lady measuring my head and touching my neck. She totally could have found a scalpel and offed me, and I would have been defenseless (as my gun was across the room).
There was an 18-month-old baby there getting an EEG at the same time I was there. His parents didn’t even seem scared or horrified that their toddler had to have an EEG. The toddler, however, was quite put out by the whole thing. My EEG was delayed, as my tech had to go help out with the toddler. You’d have thought they were torturing him, and I’d have to say they kind of do with the head scrubbing. Do they really need to scrub that hard? Really?
Today’s our “anniversary.” Three years since 12/10/05! Insane. We had fajitas, champagne, and IT. Booyah, you wish you were us.
Also, if you’re not watching Pushing Daisies, I just don’t know what is WRONG with you. The ponchos tonight! The ponchos! I got Olive’s right away (olives) and Ned’s, of course (pies). It took me a few seconds, but I eventually fell into a fit of giggles over Emerson’s poncho decorated in fish. Emerson Cod!
Heroes. I’d rather listen to Kellie Pickler than watch any scene featuring Mohindar. What an idiotic storyline.
Ok, now I’m just rambling. But hey. I’m totally beat. Give me a break.
I’ve had a lot of unpleasent stuff done to me over the years but never an EEG. MRI’s suck. So does having a lung AND liver drained. I had to have blood drawn every thirty minutes for several days once and now my arms look like an drug addict and if I need blood work done they have to hunt a place to do it. “Why did’t they put a port in?” I keep getting asked. I don’t know why they didn’t put a port in. If they had maybe I wouldn’t have had TWO IV’s blow out! Never had an EEG. Never hope to.
December 11th, 2008 at 7:28 amI prefer the MRI to the EEG. My first one was a little unnerving, but after that, not so bad. Though I do prefer them *without* contrast.
December 11th, 2008 at 7:32 amMy son had to have an EEG - I totally understand about the toddler. The whole experience was terribly horrifying and draining. I would not wish that on any kid ever. Thankfully, it read normal so no seizures.
December 11th, 2008 at 9:01 amI love Pushing Daisies so much! My husband is a little sick of hearing me rant about how sad I am that they canceled it. :-(
December 11th, 2008 at 12:14 pmMohinder killed my desire to watch Heroes. Haven’t even begun Season 3; they’re all on the DVR, forlorn.
Fringe, however, has been yummy - very cotton-candy yummy, but still.
December 11th, 2008 at 12:33 pmAlice was pretty little when she had her first EEG. The weirdest one she had was when they did a three-day EEG at Children’s in Dallas. They wrapped her head like a mummy to keep the leads glued in place.
I can’t believe it… in some ways it seems like a LOT longer since The Bloggy Wedding… and in some ways it’s like it was just a few days ago. That was so much fun!!!
December 11th, 2008 at 11:02 pmBeing that I am in computers for fun and profit, when I say “IT” I thought “Information Technology, why would she do that for her anny? Isn’t she a bean counter? And the sentence structure is wrong.”
then I figured it out.
*snarf*
congrats
December 12th, 2008 at 8:14 amyeah, my brain said “information technology” too.
Happy 1.5 years off gluten!
December 15th, 2008 at 6:01 am