88 YEAR OLD WOMAN: I love that baby so much. She’s so cute! I just want to squeeze her to death! [long pause] . . . I probably shouldn’t say that.
88YOW: Who’s that?
NURSE: I’ve come to get your vitals.
88YOW: Okay. Am I dead yet?
NURSE: What happened to your ear?
88YOW: Someone tried to take it right off.
88YOW: Yeah. Someone bit it.
88YOW: My boyfriend.
NURSE: Well, can I take your temperature in your other ear?
88YOW: No. I can only have one boyfriend at a time.