Hold me to this stuff

As a soon-to-be-mom, I promise to:

*Not become a mommy blogger. Please take me aside and give me a good punching if I do such a thing. My blog would rather die than be put out to mommy blogger pasture, so please don’t let it devolve down that road. That said, I don’t consider pregnancy blogging to be the same as mommy blogging, so continue reading here at your own risk.

*Never, EVER use the phrase, “Just wait till you have kids. Then you’ll understand.” There are fewer words more obnoxious than these, and I’ve wanted to punch many people for saying them to me. Especially during the period when we were trying to get pregnant. The words made me truly violent on the inside.

*Be conscientious of any annoyance or discomfort my child’s crying or whining may be to others. That’s not to say that there won’t be training involved in which the annoyances are necessary. I’m sure I’ll forget about this by the end of the first week as a mom, and it’s okay for you to hate me and judge me for it.

*Not talk exclusively of my kid. I know I was my own person before the baby, and I will try to maintain at least a little bit of myself. Also, if I talk exclusively of the kid, how will people know how the animals are doing?

*Try to blog at least as much as I do now. Hahahaha.

Any other promises you’d like me to make?

13 Responses to Hold me to this stuff

  1. So where do you stand on tantrums in the supermarket (kind of covered in 3rd *)? Are you for public spanking? Or would you just say weakly “honey stop. honey stop. honey stop. honey stop.(repeat)”

    Also, which rates worse: “Just wait till you have kids. Then you’ll understand.” or “It is what is it.”

  2. sorry typo: “it is what it is”

  3. Yes – promise to forgive yourself should you stray from one of those items :D

    Even as a mom I can’t STAND when other people coddle their kids and let them go through a store crying the whole way or be obnoxious in a restaurant – you CAN have kids that behave in public – really you can. And it’s okay if they don’t once in a while too ;)

  4. Here’s a tip for when you must take the baby grocery shopping. Even if you try very hard, there are times when it can’t be avoided.

    Leave all the cold food stuff for last. Then if baby/toddler has a meltdown, you take them out of the cart and go out to the car until they’ve stopped. (it’s also kinda fun to stick a toddler having a tantrum in the car and shut the door… watching them eventually figure out that you’re standing outside the car laughing at them…) Ask me how I know this stuff. ;-)

    After all is over and they’ve finally stopped screeching, you can go back in and pick up where you left off and nothing has spoiled. This is less of a problem in the winter of course.

  5. Oh – nearly forgot… I didn’t take either of my kids out to places like stores, church, etc until they were over a month old. Just makes sense to keep them away from germy people for at least a little while when they are just getting started.

    This used to be common in the old old days. Women used to be confined to bed for nearly 2 weeks after having a baby. Then they didn’t really do much of anything for a couple more weeks after that. With the advent of women leaving the hospital the same day and being told they should be able to still leap tall buildings, we started seeing tiny newborn babies appear in public too… I always cringe when I see it and hope the baby stays well especially since so many people feel the need to touch a new baby – like it’s a puppy or something. Ick.

  6. First off, congrats, and welcome to the club.

    Second, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

    You are going to be a Parent, and Parent rhymes with Hypocrite.

    You will do all sorts of things you never thought you would do, say things you would have never said, and just, ya know, cope.

    As for Frank, let him jump around and call himself “Fertile Man!!!” Cuz ya know, he’s a Breeder.

  7. Of the five items you listed, check back in two, three years and see if you kept numbers 1,4, & 5. Number 2 is something you won’t say for around 10 years, maybe longer. But it’ll come. Having said that, I do believe 3 is doable. The others? Live your fantasy, girl.

  8. I’ll remind you but you might not like it :-p

  9. For the record, it is necessary to use the phrase “Just wait till you have kids. Then you’ll understand,” when you’re talking to your own kids. Especially when you’re dealing with an almost 13-year-old girl who thinks that all of your decisions are not fair.

  10. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » Nothing to see here, move along. But you might to look at these…

  11. MarkoMancuso

    I have my own promise to make. As a way of showing respect to FrnakJ as a father, I will not make fun of his typing errors.

  12. Unless it falls on Talk Like A Pirate Day, do not live blog the delivery. All those aarrrrss can get annoying.

  13. OH, I laughed so hard I choked on my coffee! I said all the same kind of stuff before I had kids. All I can say is good luck with that :)

    You might be able to accomplish #1, but you’ve already blurred the line with pregnant blogging.
    personally, I hope you mommyblog ;)

    #3, you will learn to tune them out, but there is a certain respect parents should pay to others when they take their children out in public.

    #2 and #4, Again, good luck with that.

    #5….I’m still waiting for the past 2 weeks Idol posts!