Man, I just assumed it would be Frank

Because he’s the man. But no. I was the first person to drop the baby.

I should have known that it would be me, since I’m the one with horrible balance and even worse coordination, and the hubby has the balance of a gold medalist curler. But I just thought he’d have to choose one day between saving the iPad and saving the baby, and, well… But nope.

Thankfully, she was in her car seat. I tripped over a curb on the way to my new moms’ group (of course!), and I went down. My arm was hooked under the car seat handle, so she kind of came down on top of me. I think the car seat landed half on my leg or foot and half on the ground, on its side. She grunted a little until I turned her right side up again, then she smiled. She wasn’t hurt. But I was right across the street from the hospital, so I almost walked to the emergency room, just in case. Then I decided that since she wasn’t crying, she was okay. Chicco makes a pretty good car seat, I guess.

I’m fine, too. And really glad that I tripped *out* of the street instead of into it. Also glad that my first instinct was to try to elevate her as much as possible so she wouldn’t hit the ground hard.

But man, I’m bummed I dropped her before Frank did, because now he’ll always have that. “You dropped the baby! I’m the best parent ever!” Oh well. I guess I’ll always have this: “You made the baby pee in her own face! I’m the best parent ever!”

5 Responses to Man, I just assumed it would be Frank

  1. Heh, my wife was the first to drop our eldest. She fell asleep while nursing and baby rolled off the sofa. Baby shook it off, but the Mrs. was mortified.

    I paid her back by dropping my son in much more dramatic–and public–fashion. I flipped him backwards off a chair while he was still in his car seat, fortuitously buckled, and this in a new restaurant at dinner. Talk about humiliating.

    Kids are made of tough stuff. Don’t forget that they were designed to withstand being reared by adult humans.

  2. Kids are made of tough stuff! I locked my baby in the car, along with my keys, on a day it was over 100 degrees. I was ready to throw a rock through the window by the time the police arrived (within five minutes). My son calmly looked at me the whole time while I was waving and smiling at him and yelling through the window, “Don’t worry! The police are coming!” After unlocking the door, the police officer said, “Don’t lock your keys in the car again.” I haven’t (and this was 22 years ago).

  3. I could see Frank getting a son to pee on its face, but a girl? That takes talent, I mean the barrel of that gun points in the opposite direction. Boys like to aim and shoot, but girls?

  4. Wait until she backflips off the changing pad, or falls out of the crib. Then you will know full well the guilt of the darned.

    Or so I’ve heard. I wouldn’t, umm, know. Ahem.

  5. I can still remember hearing the rumble as our 2 year old broke the rules, opened a sliding door, took her wheeled toy and rode it off the back porch, fell about 8ft onto some rocks. The silence was deafening. As I rounded the corner, too late to see anything, I was gratified to hear a bump bump as she dragged the toy up the stairs and howled when she realized she had bent a wheel on it.