volume VI

hey, self! nice to see ya! i know it’s been a while, but you’ve been kind of busy, and you haven’t been that dumb lately. well, you have, but i thought i’d take it easy on you. i’m nice like that. so here we go.

1. self, when you want to preheat your george foreman grill, you should consider plugging it in rather than the coffee maker. just a suggestion.

2. self, i know that you’ve learned your lesson, but i must tell you anyway… next time you’re running, and your foot starts to hurt after several miles, you should stop running. continuing to run on the foot in an effort to make it stop hurting is a little bit, um… asinine. oh, and so is not training for a 10K.

3. say, self? say it with me… bed good. futon bad. bed not painful. futon hurts. bed has springs. futon has steel bars.

4. hey, self. ghostwit. LOL!!!

later, self! go stars.

17 Responses to volume VI

  1. 1. Yeah, that might help.
    2. You said it, not me.
    3. My futon only has wood planks, but I’m told it’s not very comfortable to sleep on either.
    4. LOL. That was a good one!

  2. jeffrey, i appreciate your willingness to allow me to state w/o objection that i behave in an asinine fashion.

    i also appreciate your not correcting my spelling in public. *hangs head in shame, looks at feet, sees stress-fractured foot, cries, would hang head in shame about foot but already doing that*

  3. You’re welcome. Happy to oblige. :)

    Welcome on the spelling as well. Of course, now that you’ve told everyone that I corrected your spelling it kinda defeats the purpose of me doing so quietly.

    Hope you’re taking enough loopy inducing stuff for the foot.

  4. happy to be obliged.

    yes, it does defeat that purpose, but it makes everyone think you’re a nice guy, anyway.

    um, my foot hurts, so apparently not enough. i should take a vicodin now. glad juan’s in austin and can’t try to steal it.

  5. I’m happy that you’re happy.

    You’re right. It does make me look nice. I withdraw my objection.

    I’d suggest you hide it, but you’d never find it again, would you?

  6. i’m happy that you’re happy that i’m happy.

    well, i did just say it makes people “think” you’re nice.

    um, no. i wouldn’t. and while you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice papercut and pour lemon juice on it?

  7. I’m happy that you’re happy that that I’m happy that you’re happy.

    There you go, ruining the effect again.

    Humperdink! Humperdink! Humperdink!

  8. i’m happy that you’re happy that i’m happy that you’re happy that i’m happy * infinity *!! woohoo! i learned so much from peewee herman!

    i’m good at that.


  9. I cede the floor to your comic genius.

  10. as well you should.

  11. i am so elated that everyone is so HAPPY. that makes me HAPPY,too.BTW,what was that abbbbooot spelling? did you say you scooored eighhht pints hier than me?

  12. yes, spydaddy. apparenly i kan spel betr then you ADN do mathe betr. 138-131=7, not ate, silly sissy boy.

    i’m HAPPY that everyone is HAPPY too. my blog is a happynin’ place.

  13. hey,if you can speel rong,i can substrack rong.it’s all in de fambly.

  14. i gess wee no wer i git it. yer folt, spidade

  15. no,no,no bicker momys.

  16. wel, i thenk it cud bee bothe uv you’s folts. its a gud theng i wint to publick skool. utherwise, hoo nose how i wood of turnd outt?

  17. lottiedottie

    don’t know if you check up on these old posts, but if you do, i was wondering if you would be my fitness guru?? must get in shape for very hard race (in 3 weeks no less) and need someone to tell me to exercise. btw, since i now know that continuing to run after my foot starts to hurt won’t make it stop, i was wondering how long i have to run till the cramp in my side stops hurting (stupid mountain dew, must never drink again!) also, how long do i have to run till my butt stops jiggling?!?