Oh, wow, I, uh…
Wow… I didn’t expect to win…I’m just so, wow! Thank you all so much! It was an honor just to nominate myself, and to be in the running with all of these other hot babes! I didn’t even prepare a speech… but since I love to hear myself talk, I’ll give it a shot… Ever since I was a tiny 5-ft.-tall girl of 27, I have dreamt of being a t-shirt model, nay, more! I have dreamt of being the one and only IMAO T-Shirt Babe!!
**pauses for gratuitous applause**
Yes, thank you.
**pauses as a fellow in the audience named Dan shouts “We love you SarahK!!”**
Oh, I love y’all too, thank you. Anyway, I’ve thought of some people to thank and blah blah blah. First and foremost, I would like to thank God, who made me into a hot babe; I suppose I should thank my parents, too, Bikermommy & Spidade, without y’all, well I wouldn’t be here today (obviously). And second only to God, my deepest gratitude to the great Frank J, my new employer and agent…
**waits impatiently as the IMAO crowd offers a standing ovation in honor of Frank; many shouts of “First to stand up!” and “I poop my pants!” echo throughout the blogitorium.**
Yeah, ok, this is about me. Anyway, I would like to thank the judges who voted for me. I don’t know who you are, except that you are not John Hawkins (bah), but what really matters is that my traffic has substantially increased, mostly due to hits from IMAO and Blackfive, which makes y’all my favorite judges… And to the other babes, I would just like to say that y’all all deserve this at least as much as I think you do; what a hot readership Frank has! I would also like to thank my new fans out there; whether you’ve become a new regular and/or commenter on my blog or sent me fan mail or unsolicited photos (you know who you are!), you have made me feel like a totally hot babe, I love y’all! Finally, I would like to thank John Kerry (who, by the way, served in Vietnam), the French (who surrendered to my photo immediately upon seeing my Smith & Wesson), hippies, commies and terrorists, all for being such easy targets for ridicule; you increase my hawkishness exponentially.
I hope to make Frank J, the IMAO readers, the other judges, etc., proud as the IMAO T-Shirt Babe. God bless our troops and our President, and God bless America.
UPDATE FROM THE GREEN ROOM: I forgot (actually didn’t, but when you think it out all day in your head before you’re actually out of the black hole and can post something, things come and go through your empty head.) to thank my dear long-time friend Juan, who got me started in this whole blogging thing. I figured if he could do it, so could I. ;) So thanks J.
UPDATE FROM THE AIRPLANE: What a horrible oversight! A gracious reader has pointed out that I didn’t thank the photographer! Um, my bad, little sizzle! Anyway, I would LOVE to thank the little sizzle, Jessi, who shopped w/ me for the shirt, provided props (except the gun prop, provided by her neighbor – thanks Alison, I can’t carry mine, I have no license yet and am a law-abiding citizen) and endured the grueling 3-hour photo shoot. Sista, I love you!!