top 10 things to do if you find a toad in your toilet

Jeffrey over at joyfulchristian found a toad in his pottie and wrote some tough love mail to the city for that. in his honor and in honor of tough love mail in general, i have compiled a list of things to do if you find a toad in your toilet… [ed: some of these are stupid, but this is my blog, so i have to go with what i know.]

10. wait. did he say “toad” or “terd”? i wouldn’t proceed without clarification.

9. pluck that little toad out of the pot, rinse him properly and kiss that sucker. might get yerself a prince out of the deal! [don't razz me, you were all thinking it.] if yer a man, give him to yer sister.

8. challenge him to a match of toadly winks. har har.

7. check and make sure he’s not one of those chocolate frogs from Harry Potter’s world, because you might get one of the cards that Ron needs and be able to trade for his broken wand or something; of course, if you’ve got something chocolate-looking in your toilet, perhaps you shouldn’t pick it up.

7. forget the tough love mail, find the city manager’s house and drop that baby in his/her mailbox.

6. oh, look! a bidet!

5. kill him!! he’s French!!

4. but don’t fear him!! he’s French!!

3. be nice to the little fella, if you look closely you’ll see a little white flag in his hand. he’s French!!

2. check for little toad stools. it is a toilet, after all. hahahahahahaha! [thanks to the Little Sizzle's crew for the help.]

and the #1 (i feel like i should end this list on #2 for some reason) thing to do if you find a toad in your pottie…

1. what do we do with smelly things we find in the toilet? we flush them!! flush him!! he’s French!!

4 Responses to top 10 things to do if you find a toad in your toilet

  1. I once found a snake in my toilet. Yep, a 6 foot boa constrictor. I was 8 months pregnant and thought the shock would send me into labor. It was all over the news, in fact you can google me! Anyway, I can handle a frog after that. Kudos on the “toad-stool” line, that will have me giggling all day!

  2. hmmm…that hits close to home.

    krakaTOAD

  3. eek, jonag, if i found a massive snake in the toilet, i would never be able to sit on the pot again! and that would be sooooo uncomfortable for me and the neighbors.

    krakatoa, i wondered where you got your name; mystery solved!

  4. [shazam] that`s all im going to say [shazam]