my crazy life just keeps getting crazier… or maybe i’m just coming back out of my shell and doing everything i always say i’ll do but am never brave enough for. which means i’m either getting braver or stupider; whatever it is, i’m having a blast… the latest wacky SarahK adventure was the American Idol audition. see, i knew i had to do it. after all my whining last year that 27 was too old for AI, they raised the age limit from 24 to 28; i knew i would never forgive myself if i passed on the opportunity. plus, i wouldn’t be able to gripe about the talent this season if i didn’t have the gralls to try myself. so two weeks before the Vegas auditions, i booked my flight and immediately felt completely ill… the next 2 weeks were long, but finally, it was time.

Friday night — SarahK goes to Vegas…

i drove to Albuquerque to catch a flight to Vegas ($200 cheaper than flying out of Amarillo, so after gas and parking, i saved about $130). midway through the flight, the flight attendant got on the loudspeaker and informed us that there was a girl on the plane (Marisa) who was going to audition for AI, and she was going to sing for us. after she sang, the flight attendant had discovered another auditioner, and she sang too; i had tried to get his attention so i could sing as well, and i was thrilled that i even half-heartedly tried to get up in front of a plane full of strangers. less than a month ago, Frank had to fight me tooth and nail to get me to sing for him alone, and i won’t even sing for my own Bikermommy if i know she’s listening. karaoke, of course, is different, because it’s much easier to sing in front of drunken strangers, as they think everyone sounds great and will likely never remember you, even if you’re terrible.

when we were leaving the plane, i noticed Marisa and two other girls talking about the auditions, so i joined the conversation and told them i was going too. that’s when i met Tamika. she, like me, was going to the audition alone, though she was meeting some friends there, and the Little Sizzle was going to fly out and meet me Saturday night. Marisa and her parents let us know that the auditions had been moved from the convention center to the Orleans Arena. good to know!

we all picked up our luggage and exchanged phone numbers, but Tamika couldn’t get ahold of her friends, so we decided to stick together. we got my rent car (a punchy little blue Ford Focus that i had a lot of fun driving) and decided to go to the arena to see what the scene was like. Tamika had been to the New Orleans auditions and told Marisa and me that the camping out happens on Friday night, and not Saturday night as the website had implied. when we got to the arena, security told us we wouldn’t be allowed to line up until 6 a.m. and could camp out in a parking lot across the street, but risked being ticketed by the metro police. i thought that was a good idea, because maybe there would be a crime, and Warrick Brown could come investigate, woohoo! anyway, Tamika and i decided to go to my hotel room and come back at 5 a.m. to line up.

—

on the way to the hotel, we were driving across an overpass, and two fellas in the car next to us were honking their horn trying to get our attention. Tamika, whose mama apparently never taught her that if someone is honking at you, you must ignore ignore ignore, rolled down the window and asked what they wanted.
Tamika: what??
Random Guys: haaaaaaaayyyy!!! why don’t y’all come with us.
SarahK [frantically looking for the window controls]: roll that window back up right now!! where’s the child lock on this thing?

—

when we got to the hotel room, i’d been offline for several hours and had broken out in withdrawal hives. Tamika asked what i was doing, and i told her i was blogging, then explained what that’s all about. it came up that i’m a Republican and model t-shirts for my Republican boyfriend’s Republican blog…

Tamika: so you’re a Republican, huh?
SarahK: yep.
Tamika: so how you really feel about color?
SarahK: well, let’s see. i met you on the airplane tonight and drove you around in my rent car. now we’re rooming together. yeah, i don’t like black people, obviously.

—

we went out for burgers at midnight, and Tamika promptly determined that she hates Carl’s Jr. on the way back to the hotel, we stopped at a Terrible’s convenience store so i could get a non-fountain Coca-Cola. the attendant looked like he stepped right out of Colorado City, Utah Arizona. i tried being cute and making a lame joke about the fact that there were slot machines in the convenience store, and he gave me the humorless blank stare. Tamika had a question.

Tamika: do you blog?
Clerk: i used to. i had a LiveJournal but i never posted much.
Tamika: hey, someone else who knows what a blog is!!
SarahK: i’m a blogger.

we reached the parking lot.

SarahK: what was that about? why did you ask him if he blogs?
Tamika: he looked like a blogger.
SarahK: no you didn’t. you’re walking back to the hotel.

—

another Saturday night…

i was still up blogging & reading blogs & reading email and such when Marisa called around 2:15 a.m. and said they were letting people line up now. i dragged Tamika out of bed, changed into jeans and my American Hottie shirt, and we were on our way.

we got to the arena around 3 a.m. and started the campout. it was hard to sleep, because there was so much going on. people coming and going, plus the line-Nazi lady who kept waking people up and making them get in other people’s laps because having 3 inches of space on either side of you was just not acceptable! the Bear Man (Chris) and his group were quite busy, as there were about 200 of them trying to all stay together. maybe only 20 or so, but it sure seemed like more. i think i slept about an hour between 4 and 5 a.m., and then the line-Nazi started yelling again. at 6, they finally started letting people in, so Tamika and i spent the next hour and twenty minutes waiting to get into the building.

Tamika: they better let us all in, or there will be a riot.
SarahK: a riot? well, um… i think i’ll just hang back, not participate in the riot.
Tamika: why not? you don’t wanna riot?
SarahK: it’s just that i’m not a fan of being punched and stuff.

—

we met lots of interesting people while we waited.

by 7:20 we were inside. by about 7:45, we had our wristbands (which meant we got to audition for sure) and seat tickets and awaited further instructions from this little guy. meanwhile, we met Daryl and Chris (Bear Man).

then they made us sing Viva Las Vegas, and i realized i was in Hell. anyone who knows me knows i’d rather have someone smash my kneecaps in with a sledgehammer than listen to an Elvis song, much less sing it. blech. even Neckid Britney is more stomachable than Elvis. finally, we received our super important instructions for Sunday (be here between 4 and 6 a.m.), and they turned us loose for the day. we walked by all the losers still in line, and i laughed at them. then i called Frank and told him i got my wristband, and he was so proud.

Tamika finally got ahold of her friends Reggie and Val (they were losers still in line), so we took their luggage from them so they wouldn’t have to keep it in line. then we headed to the hotel. on the way…

Tamika: girl, you are so much like my girlfriend Tiffany. you look just like her, y’all are both blonde.
SarahK: yeah, we all look alike.
Tamika: y’all do.

i jumped online as soon as we were to the hotel, then i napped. Reggie and Val showed up at some point to get their luggage, but all i remember is that i was cranky and rude. “get out of my rooooooooooom!”

we finally got up from our naps and decided to eat. we went to the Rio for the buffet, but when we gagged on the price for the food, we changed our minds. we drove around for a long time…

SarahK: what shall we eat for dinner?
Tamika: i want Mexican food.
SarahK: oh no. you don’t want to get Mexican food in Vegas.
Tamika: why not in Vegas?
SarahK: they don’t even have Mexicans here! you don’t wanna eat Mexican food unless it’s made by real Mexicans. you have to go to Texas, there are lots of Mexicans there.
Tamika: Sarah, do you know where you are?

—

we finally decided on Red Lobster, because when you go visit a new city, you shouldn’t bother trying their non-chain restaurants. always go with something you can get at home. Reggie and Val joined us, and we had a great time. after dinner, we stood outside the front doors of Red Lobster and practiced our music. we just sang different songs to each other and got opinions on which songs we should sing for our auditions on Sunday. ..

Reggie: what are you gonna do for your second song?
Val: yeah, that’s right, you have to have a second song ready in case they ask you to sing another.
SarahK: i know what i’ll sing.
Tamika: what’s that?
SarahK [stands up and dances as soulful as a white girl can without pulling a muscle]: when i get that feeling… i want… sexual healing… sexual… healing…

Reggie, Val and Tamika were rolling on the sidewalk laughing.

SarahK: what? when i was growing up, my very first favorite song was “[Gr]exual Healing”. and then later, my favorite song was “Centerfold”. and even later, my favorite song was “I Want Your [Gr]ex”.

more rolling and laughing.

for the record, my current favorites are “After an Afternoon“, which may or may not be about grex, and “0% Interest“, which may or may not be about anything at all.

we finally called it a day and went to the hotel…

stay tuned tomorrow night for the rest of the AI auditions story…