alrighty, sports fans, and weird people who don’t like sports but do like food… it’s time for Beth’s Carnival of the Recipes! so settle back and peruse the glorious culinary delights at your fingertips… then go shopping.

let’s start with breakfasty stuff…

Jordana from Curmudgeonry has a scrumptious formula for Pumpkin Apple Muffins, and i hope y’all will forgive me for making these babies all-year round and not just in the fall.

VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks sends in a recipe for Kathy’s Biscuits… mmm… make that two happy dogs, VW.

dough, a deer, a female deer… OR… the bread group…

reader moehawk sends in his Onion Focaccia with Carmelized Onions. let us all drool together now.

here’s what you need for the bread part:
3 cups bread flour
1 tsp salt
4 tbsp olive oil
4 tbsp honey
1 1/2 tsp active dry yeast
1 cup warm water

and here’s what you do:
Put flour and salt into bowl of Kitchenaide mixer with dough hook (or bread machine on Dough only” setting), mix water, yeast, honey and oil, add to bowl or machine and mix on low speed until dry ingredients are moistened, then on med-hi speed for 7-8 minutes, or until dough is smooth and elastic. For bread machine, run in dough cycle until mixing is done. Cover and let rise for 30-45 minutes, or until doubled in size. Punch down dough, round into a ball, and let rise, covered, for 1 hour. Roll out on floured surface to about 1/4 inch thick, into whatever shape your baking pan is, this recipe will cover a commercial-sized half sheet pan or a large pizza pan.
Brush dough with extra-virgin olive oil, top with caramelized onions, a light sprinkling of Italian seasoning blend or chopped fresh oregano, and as much grated cheese as you like. My favorites are Italian Fontina, Asiago, or Provelone. Bake at 450 degrees for 20-25 minutes, or until cheese is bubbling and beginning to brown, and dough is golden brown around the edges and bottom. Allow to cool for about 20-30 minutes before cutting.
Excellent for football parties, or any other get-together.

and for the carmelized onions:
4 large yellow or white onions, peeled and sliced 1/8-1/4 inch thick
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup white wine

1 tsp salt, or to taste

this is what you do:
While dough is rising, heat oil in a large heavy skillet, add onions and stir to coat with oil (you may need a little more oil, the onions really suck it up). Add wine and salt, and stir until onions are wilted and most moisture has evaporated. Reduce heat to low, and stir frequently until onions are a dark golden brown color and have a sweet flavor. Cool before putting on dough.

Marybeth shares her recipe for Easy Batter Loaf… homemade bread… mmm…

appeteasers, snickety-snacks and evil alcoholic beverages that make people drunk…

Songstress7 of News from the Great Beyond has a yummy-sounding recipe for “Ham It Up” Crescent Snacks.

my own Bikermommy submitted her Dried Beef Dip Stuff (i named it that, i’m so creative), and i can vouch that this concoction is waaaaayy better than it sounds.

next up we have Dan’s Ultra-famous Apple Martini Recipe, and Dan wants you to all get drunk on this tasty-sounding beverage. i say just sip it, you’ll remember it better that way. ;D

this next one, from booklore, is most aptly entitled (by me) “how to eat a pomegranate, and if you must have a recipe, you can make it into grenadine“.

triticale - the wheat and rye guy - sends in Okra Pickles, and as soon as i read the recipe last night, i began to salivate. you will too, so grab a tissue before you click. :)

Blog o’RAM has a snack for you called Papa’s Dates, and these sweet things sound terrific.

from Jovianne of Meandering Musings & What-Not, we have Beer Cheese Dip. i must say, i might buy beer for the first time in my life.

no soup for you! unless you browse this category…

Margi Lowry submits the most perfect recipe for a cold fall evening, Tomato Soup and Cheese Overload Sandwiches, and the soup sounds wonderful and makes me think of La Madeleine. i may throw a little basil into mine…

reader Dave in Texas, where we know how to make awesome chili, shares his chili recipe and provides helpful advice for the morning after…

Afterburner Chili
From memory (I have patented this over many many years).

Ok, 2 lbs ground beef or chili beef.
2 cans pinto beans (or your fav. I’m not picky)
4 cloves of garlic, diced eensy teensy (do it yourself! you will thank me again and again!) [Ed: Dave, i’ll use my garlic press, thanks.]
half a sweet onion, diced not quite so fine. You want to chew these little goobers.
5 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp paprika
1 tsp salt (to taste, I like a little less salt)
1 tsp white pepper
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp ground cumin (I recommend fresh. mmm!)
1/2 tsp Tabasco. God bless General McIlhenny. Did you know he was a Marine? OOO-RAY!
1 jalapeno pepper, diced so fine you can’t tell what it was
1 habanero pepper, after filling out the forms from the EPA for handling toxic waste. diced similarly to Mr. Jalapeno. Imagine a cute Veggie Tale face. And cut it off.
4 cans agua (water, you silly caucasians)
1 tbsp masa flour
3 oz. Maker’s Mark (yeah, you could use Jim Beam. But call it your recipe, not mine)

The ground beef should be “chuck”. Not the neighbor’s kid, ground chuck. Small “c”. 15% fat. Don’t drain a drop of it. That grease enhances the “Dave experience”. Brown that beef. Pour those beans. Pour in all that other stuff. Mix and simmer according to common sense rules of mixing and simmering. You’ve done this before…I have no secrets here. Except the masa….save it until you’ve simmered for about 45 minutes, then mix that in some hot water and pour it into the brew. Drink 4 Foster’s while you do all this. It’s just more fun that way. It also enhances the “Dave experience”. Simmer another half hour or so or until you just can’t stand it anymore and eat the stuff.

Grated cheddar, chips, fresh diced onions, that just enhances the “Dave’s Chili” experience. Knock yourself out.

Tomorrow morning, have a bowl of ice cream handy, your favorite flavor. Not to eat. To sit in.

Bloodspite’s Original Dante’s Southern Chili (scroll) recipe calls for the mandatory ingredient of a Hank Williams Sr. CD. i can go for that! this recipe also calls for lots of alkeyhol, but i think that’s for drinkin’, not for mixing in. UPDATE: Bloodspite is also live-blogging his office’s chili cookoff, so mosey on over and see what’s happening in the world of beans.

Cindy from notes in the key of life takes a break from politics (yay!) to share her Taco Soup recipe. i looooove taco soup, so i’ll be making this at the first Amarillo snow.

you don’t eat no meat? then move along, nothing to see here…

Jay from Accidental Verbosity submits his stepsister Laurie’s Red-Hot & Sweet Chicken, and after seeing the pictures, i’m ready to head to the store. mmm…

Bloodspite of Techography has BS’s Famous Hamburger Casserole, and i hereby proclaim it must be good, because it calls for a Vidalia onion. i heart Vidalias.

Prochein Amy submits Babette’s Carnitas, which sounds like it would go fabulously in soft tacos, hard tacos, burritos, and my tummy.

Techievampire, in collaboration with Roberta’s Roadkill Cafe, gives us the yummy-sounding Make-Ahead Turkey for the Holidays. celery and white wine in the same recipe? count me in.

speaking of turkey, Karen of Let’s Play Restaurant serves up Emeril’s Leftover Turkey Dinner Pot Pie. i shall make this for Frank from our leftover Thanksgiving turkey, and he shall heart me for it.

Boudicca’s serving up Chicken Divan over at her place, and i’m thinking next time i visit Florida, she should invite me to dinner and fix this. please, Bou?

the Laughing Wolf submits Southwestern Truffled Chicken… i have to admit, my first thought was dessert? in the chicken dish? note to self, truffles can also be mushrooms. this sounds truffalicious!

Songstress7 has a neato-sounding recipe for Mom’s Potato Chip Chicken that i can’t wait to try. yeah, Songstress, i would go with salt and vinegar myself. num-num!

the Veg part of VitaMeataVegiMin (most likely spelled incorrectly)…

Aunty Goob scratches your vegetable itch with the lip-smacking Aunty’s Grilled Vegetables. i sooo don’t understand people who don’t like veggies.

Ronda sent in this recipe for Spicy Southwestern-Style Mashed Potatoes.

4 large potatoes, peeled and sliced,
2 T. butter,
2/3 C milk,
1 1/4 C pepper jack cheese, shredded,
2 T green onions, chopped,
2 t cilantro,
6 slices bacon, fried and crumbled,
salt and pepper to taste

Boil the potatoes until soft. Add to the bowl of a mixer. Add the remaining ingredients. Mix and enjoy!

oh, i will, Ronda. i will.

next, Jack from Random Fate sent in his Quasi-Southern Green Beans, and i’ll bet they’re more than just quasi-good.

booklore also submits Twice-Baked Potatoes, which will make for a twice-happy eater.

do you like seafood? see? food!

IowaSoccerMom, one of my all-time favorite moms, sent me her favorite non-dessert recipe. pardon me while i yummicate.

Throwdown Crawfish Etouffee

2 bags frozen crawfish tails, thawed
2 t salt
2 t garlic powder (or several cloves of minced garlic; whatever you like)
several squirts of Tabasco (optional — to taste)
1/2 stick butter
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
1 bunch green onions
1 can RoTel tomatoes
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 dollop of sour cream
2 bags boil-in-bag white rice, cooked & drained

Melt butter in large skillet. Add chopped onion and sautee until translucent. Add crawfish and cook for a couple of minutes. Then add soup, RoTel and other seasonings. Heat through. Add sour cream and chopped green onions; simmer. Pour crawfish over rice and serve. YUM!

curry deserves its own section here…

i heart Indian food and pretty much anything with curry in the mix, and this week we have two mouth-watering curry recipes.

from Inside Allan’s Mind, we have … um… excuse me… distracted by pictures… what was i saying? oh yes, Allan sent us Shrimp Curry (or Allan Cooks Indian). i shall make it and be happy.

Tim Worstall’s little bro is in Afghanistan cooking for a variety of cultures, and Tim sends us the ingredients for Afghan Curry that they’ve been shelling out. i personally intend to make this and figure out the weights. excellent.

the most important meal of the day… dessert…

IowaSoccerMom has been teasing mountaineer musings and IMAO readers for months with her Snickers Brownies, so i begged and got the recipe. sounds easy and de-lish.

Snickers Brownies

Use your favorite brownie recipe (or just the ones out of the box, which is what I do because I am lazy). Don’t add the nuts or whatever else the recipe might call for. Instead, pour most of the batter into the pan, then put Snickers Minis (or chop up a couple of King Size Snickers bars into chunks) onto the top of the batter, then spoon the rest of the batter over the Snickers to cover them. Bake as usual.

America’s #1 pinup girl, Dana of Note-it Posts, gives us her Mississippi Mud Cake recipe, which sounds absolutely divine… and muddy. :)

Dave of The Glittering Eye says this next one is just for me, so the rest of you should make it and send it to me. Bittersweet Chocolate Truffle Tart — those four words together make me shout only one word. amen!

my dear blogson-in-law Ian of Pinwheels and Orange Peels has a scrumdiddlyumptious recipe for Chocolate Cups with Whipped Cream, and i must say any recipe description that uses the words lusty, sinful and better than… is tantalizing. Ian, i’m leaving the liquor in! i’m such a food lush.

my Fresh as a Daisy twin slash blogdaughter Angela has a recipe for Tuiles D’Amandes (Almond Bricks), and though i can’t pronounce the French part of the name, i’m quite sure i can pronounce the key words to these luscious babies: get into my belly.

and that’s the Carnival for this week. next week, David of The Glittering Eye is hosting, and y’all should send him lots of fabulous recipes. the email address is recipe~dot~carnival~at~gmail~dot~com.

now go to the grocery! and send me samples! oh, and if you make something from the Carnival, we love feedback, so come back here and tell us how it was.